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Old 08-20-06, 06:50 PM   #1
georgiaboy
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Crazy Metaphors Overheard

Recently, the heat has been oppressive here in Georgia.

I overheard someone say "it was so hot I was sweating like a red hen."

WTF!!!!!


Anyone got any more interesting metaphors?
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Old 08-20-06, 06:51 PM   #2
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He was as tall as a 6ft 5inch tree.
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Old 08-20-06, 06:52 PM   #3
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Can it boy, or you'll be outa here like **** through a goose.
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Old 08-21-06, 04:21 AM   #4
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He's about as funny as a hat full of busted ar$eholes.
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Old 08-21-06, 05:04 AM   #5
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I've got a lot of crazy little sayings that I made up (many since I was a kid) that I love to use "just" for that reason. They are crazy and make people say WTF??!?

I guess the one most appropriate here is one that I came up with for shock value alone.


I've got to pee so bad I can taste it!
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Old 08-21-06, 06:33 AM   #6
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He's about as funny as a hat full of busted ar$eholes.

Actually this is a simile not a metaphor.
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Old 08-21-06, 06:41 AM   #7
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Hah! I know what you metaphor... a scandalous tryst!
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Old 08-21-06, 07:50 AM   #8
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Actually this is a simile not a metaphor.
Now, now, let's not get hyper-technical. A simile is a type of metaphor, using "like" or "as."
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Old 08-21-06, 07:52 AM   #9
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I just looked up metaphor on wikkipedia.com to see the difference between a similie and a metaphore, and found this:

"This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'This Is a Large Crisis.'" (Black Adder)

That is some funny stuff.
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Old 08-21-06, 09:37 AM   #10
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"It's been so long since it rained, that I saw two trees fighting over a hounddog!"
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Old 08-21-06, 09:54 AM   #11
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In the winter my daughter likes to say that its cold enough to breed penguins (okay I'm being a little P.C. here)
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Old 08-21-06, 10:05 AM   #12
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I used to work with a guy who would accuse me of being "crazy as a sh!thouse rat"
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-21-06, 01:29 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Extra #2
"This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'This Is a Large Crisis.'" (Black Adder)

That is some funny stuff.
Ya gotta love Black Adder!!
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-21-06, 01:50 PM   #14
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A few personal favorites that I attempt to use everyday are:

"Hotter than a fully f*cked fox in a forest fire"
"Scrubbing like a **** victim"
and
"Ass like a ten year old boy"

Sometimes when I whip it out I say it "Sways in the breeze like dowling taken off the rack at Home Depot"
and she "moans like a vacuum cleaner" when I penetrate her "twin-popsicle"

But I don't say those too often
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Old 08-21-06, 02:43 PM   #15
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I'll add a couple of my all-time favorites.

She is as dumb as a bag of hammers.

He needs a sandwich, that boy is as thin as pi55 on a hot rock!
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Old 08-21-06, 03:58 PM   #16
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TANSTAAFL (Extra points if youy know what it means!)

or TANJ (Same deal)

Quote the sources!
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. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
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Old 08-21-06, 04:08 PM   #17
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Tom,
Larry Niven and Robert Heinlein.
Free lunch and justice don't exist.

Some of my favorites Pop brought back from WWII:
B.T.S.O.M. (beats the **** outta me)
S.N.A.F.U. (situation normal, all ****ed up)

Some of my favorite southernisms:
Slick as owl ****
**** in one hand, wish in the other, see which one fills up the fastest.
Crazy as a shirt full of cats.
and
Your hair looks like a rat has been sucking on it.

--A

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Old 08-21-06, 04:21 PM   #18
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Cool, a fellow SF Geek!
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. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
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Old 08-21-06, 04:36 PM   #19
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Oh yeah,
Currently re-reading the Ender's Shadow series.

--A
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Old 08-21-06, 04:52 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny_Monkey
Actually this is a simile not a metaphor.
...And to be even more accurate, these are all examples of idioms.

"Hotter than two rats ****ing in a wool sock in the summertime"

"Colder than a witch's nipple"

"She sang so bad...she couldn't hit a barn door with a baseball bat!" (couldn't hit one note)

~Thanks, Dad (you crazy southerner) R.I.P.
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Old 08-21-06, 04:58 PM   #21
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Tight as a witch's cleft.
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Old 08-21-06, 06:05 PM   #22
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Rainin' like a cow pi55in' on a flat rock.

Anybody know the acronyms FIGMO? FUBAR? TU?
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Old 08-21-06, 06:06 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlatTop
Rainin' like a cow pi55in' on a flat rock.

Anybody know the acronyms FIGMO? FUBAR? TU?
I know FUBAR...never even heard of the other two.
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Old 08-21-06, 06:10 PM   #24
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tu = Tango Uniform (t1ts up)
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Old 08-21-06, 07:37 PM   #25
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Both Fubar and figmo are WWII acronyms like SNAFU
FUBAR = f'ed up beyond all recognition
FIGMO = f-it, got my orders
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