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  1. #1
    Retro-nerd georgiaboy's Avatar
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    Crazy Metaphors Overheard

    Recently, the heat has been oppressive here in Georgia.

    I overheard someone say "it was so hot I was sweating like a red hen."

    WTF!!!!!


    Anyone got any more interesting metaphors?
    Would you like a dream with that?

  2. #2
    Specialized Member ChAnMaN's Avatar
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    He was as tall as a 6ft 5inch tree.
    You can never be too Specialized
    Click here if any of the following apply to you:
    1 You dont like Specialized, 2 You drive a SUV, 3 Your name is George Bush

  3. #3
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    Can it boy, or you'll be outa here like **** through a goose.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  4. #4
    Studs Terkel Johnny_Monkey's Avatar
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    He's about as funny as a hat full of busted ar$eholes.

  5. #5
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    I've got a lot of crazy little sayings that I made up (many since I was a kid) that I love to use "just" for that reason. They are crazy and make people say WTF??!?

    I guess the one most appropriate here is one that I came up with for shock value alone.


    I've got to pee so bad I can taste it!
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  6. #6
    Studs Terkel Johnny_Monkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny_Monkey
    He's about as funny as a hat full of busted ar$eholes.

    Actually this is a simile not a metaphor.

  7. #7
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Hah! I know what you metaphor... a scandalous tryst!

  8. #8
    Kicked out of the Webelos bluebottle1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny_Monkey
    Actually this is a simile not a metaphor.
    Now, now, let's not get hyper-technical. A simile is a type of metaphor, using "like" or "as."
    ______________________________________________

    Kicked out of the Webelos.

  9. #9
    Mostly Harmless Dead Extra #2's Avatar
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    I just looked up metaphor on wikkipedia.com to see the difference between a similie and a metaphore, and found this:

    "This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'This Is a Large Crisis.'" (Black Adder)

    That is some funny stuff.
    --
    If your relationship still works, you could be training harder.

  10. #10
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    "It's been so long since it rained, that I saw two trees fighting over a hounddog!"
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  11. #11
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    In the winter my daughter likes to say that its cold enough to breed penguins (okay I'm being a little P.C. here)
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  12. #12
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I used to work with a guy who would accuse me of being "crazy as a sh!thouse rat"
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  13. #13
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dead Extra #2
    "This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'This Is a Large Crisis.'" (Black Adder)

    That is some funny stuff.
    Ya gotta love Black Adder!!
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Crono's Avatar
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    A few personal favorites that I attempt to use everyday are:

    "Hotter than a fully f*cked fox in a forest fire"
    "Scrubbing like a **** victim"
    and
    "Ass like a ten year old boy"

    Sometimes when I whip it out I say it "Sways in the breeze like dowling taken off the rack at Home Depot"
    and she "moans like a vacuum cleaner" when I penetrate her "twin-popsicle"

    But I don't say those too often

  15. #15
    Mostly Harmless Dead Extra #2's Avatar
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    I'll add a couple of my all-time favorites.

    She is as dumb as a bag of hammers.

    He needs a sandwich, that boy is as thin as pi55 on a hot rock!
    --
    If your relationship still works, you could be training harder.

  16. #16
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    TANSTAAFL (Extra points if youy know what it means!)

    or TANJ (Same deal)

    Quote the sources!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  17. #17
    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    Tom,
    Larry Niven and Robert Heinlein.
    Free lunch and justice don't exist.

    Some of my favorites Pop brought back from WWII:
    B.T.S.O.M. (beats the **** outta me)
    S.N.A.F.U. (situation normal, all ****ed up)

    Some of my favorite southernisms:
    Slick as owl ****
    **** in one hand, wish in the other, see which one fills up the fastest.
    Crazy as a shirt full of cats.
    and
    Your hair looks like a rat has been sucking on it.

    --A
    Last edited by Allen; 08-21-06 at 04:14 PM.

  18. #18
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Cool, a fellow SF Geek!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  19. #19
    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    Oh yeah,
    Currently re-reading the Ender's Shadow series.

    --A

  20. #20
    (((Fully Awake))) Serendipper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny_Monkey
    Actually this is a simile not a metaphor.
    ...And to be even more accurate, these are all examples of idioms.

    "Hotter than two rats ****ing in a wool sock in the summertime"

    "Colder than a witch's nipple"

    "She sang so bad...she couldn't hit a barn door with a baseball bat!" (couldn't hit one note)

    ~Thanks, Dad (you crazy southerner) R.I.P.
    __________________________________________________________________________________________________

    無上甚深微妙法 .... 百千萬劫難遭遇..... 我今見聞得受持

  21. #21
    Junior Member
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    Tight as a witch's cleft.

  22. #22
    holyrollin' FlatTop's Avatar
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    Rainin' like a cow pi55in' on a flat rock.

    Anybody know the acronyms FIGMO? FUBAR? TU?

  23. #23
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlatTop
    Rainin' like a cow pi55in' on a flat rock.

    Anybody know the acronyms FIGMO? FUBAR? TU?
    I know FUBAR...never even heard of the other two.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  24. #24
    Mostly Harmless Dead Extra #2's Avatar
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    tu = Tango Uniform (t1ts up)
    --
    If your relationship still works, you could be training harder.

  25. #25
    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    Both Fubar and figmo are WWII acronyms like SNAFU
    FUBAR = f'ed up beyond all recognition
    FIGMO = f-it, got my orders

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