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Old 09-11-06, 05:16 PM   #1
bigskymacadam
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The Ex has found me. Sort Of.

ugh. i suppose my internet ramblings and/or blog postings have gotten me some good exposure in the cycling scene here, but with that comes the almighty google indexing search engine. i've tried to remain somewhat anon by not listing my full name on my site, but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

whatever prompted the contact; i still find strange that she's initiated contact. a couple years ago she found my sister who did not reply. it's been about six years since we parted ways.

i let sleeping dogs lie. what to do now? lend me advice if you will.

i'd rather not follow up. she's a nice gal who i'm sure means well. but i just don't want to deal with it; nor do i care to talk about what's been goin' on, etc. and now i'm forced to make a decision to reply or not and if i reply there's probably some expectation to keep a running dialog which i don't want either.

good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?
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Old 09-11-06, 05:21 PM   #2
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geeze...what was her comment?
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Old 09-11-06, 05:24 PM   #3
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geeze...what was her comment?
oh! nothing antagonistic or anything. it was "Pls shoot me an Email; Would love to hear from you!"

it just surprised me and i don't know what to do now. i am quite weirded out, however.
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Old 09-11-06, 05:25 PM   #4
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Put her on "ignore". Oh. That's Bike Forums.

If you are even asking, there is a little doubt. If there is doubt, there is a reason that you may not even realise yet. I say go by your women's intuition. Uh...MEN'S intuition.

STAY AWWWAAAAAAY!!!
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 09-11-06, 05:27 PM   #5
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My "EX" knows where to find me....writing the checks for alimony Actually it wasn't THAT bad.

I would ignore the contact.

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Old 09-11-06, 05:48 PM   #6
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She must have you confused with another bigskymacadam.
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Old 09-11-06, 05:48 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
ugh. i've tried to remain somewhat anon but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

i still find strange

she found my sister who did not reply.

i let sleeping dogs lie.

i'd rather not follow up.

but i just don't want to deal with it;

i'm forced to make a decision to reply

probably some expectation to keep a running dialog

which i don't want either.
Take your take?
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Old 09-11-06, 06:32 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
oh! nothing antagonistic or anything. it was "Pls shoot me an Email; Would love to hear from you!"

it just surprised me and i don't know what to do now. i am quite weirded out, however.
she asked you to shoot her an email not to marry you!
she wants to hear from you, no biggie! say hello, that's all!
noone is forcing you to keep a dialogue! and if she does, then you can handle that problem for so far she only said hi!
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Old 09-11-06, 06:33 PM   #9
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was she ever clingy or needy or nasty to you?
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Old 09-11-06, 06:38 PM   #10
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I think you had it right the first time... let sleeping dogs lie.
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Old 09-11-06, 06:40 PM   #11
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Yeah don't open any can of worms.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 09-11-06, 06:46 PM   #12
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You can always create a throw-away email account to contact her if you feel the need. The question really is, do you feel the need?
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Old 09-11-06, 06:46 PM   #13
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I'd say to ignore it and do not respond. Things have a bad habit of worsening in a downward spiral.
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Old 09-11-06, 06:49 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skiahh
I think you had it right the first time... let sleeping dogs lie.
+1


Not the same, but I can relate to your feelings. I remember a long term relationship I had with a woman for 2 years....we finally parted (I dumped the crazy biatch). Out of the blue, I had an phone message on my answering machine (new unlisted number which she was not given) from her "just saying hi and call me some time".

I DID NOT CALL....AND AM GLAD I DID NOT!
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Old 09-11-06, 06:52 PM   #15
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Let it lay.

My ex dropped by outside my apartment recently after like two years of silence. She asked why I lived here and I said "because it's 5 minutes from my work and it's affordable." I said "Bye" and went inside. I hope it's about 30 or 40 more years before I hear another peep out of her. I wish her well, but have no desire whatsoever to have any contact with her.

My advice is move on and ignore the e-mail.
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Old 09-11-06, 06:56 PM   #16
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Im always the softy... no wonder why i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.
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Old 09-11-06, 06:56 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
ugh. i suppose my internet ramblings and/or blog postings have gotten me some good exposure in the cycling scene here, but with that comes the almighty google indexing search engine. i've tried to remain somewhat anon by not listing my full name on my site, but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

whatever prompted the contact; i still find strange that she's initiated contact. a couple years ago she found my sister who did not reply. it's been about six years since we parted ways.

i let sleeping dogs lie. what to do now? lend me advice if you will.

i'd rather not follow up. she's a nice gal who i'm sure means well. but i just don't want to deal with it; nor do i care to talk about what's been goin' on, etc. and now i'm forced to make a decision to reply or not and if i reply there's probably some expectation to keep a running dialog which i don't want either.

good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?
If you ignore her, she'll get the message you don't want to reopen any dialogue with her, or that your blog isn't you! Either way, it's a positive outcome if you truly don't want to open up that can of worms again. You broke up for a reason after all!
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Old 09-11-06, 07:12 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
Im always the softy... no wonder why i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.
Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea.
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Old 09-11-06, 07:17 PM   #19
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thank you all for giving me some perspective on this. another reason why foo's rule!

blondgirl, she used to be jealous and needy for lack of better words; but even that sounds extreme. i guess i'm always the glass half-full guy :) which gets me into trouble too sometimes!!! haha

edit: she did follow up with another rather innocent request, "Do you or (insertwife'snamehere) have a myspace.com account?" ... i'm sure to add me to her friends list. yeah, i'll shoot for a top eight here! and for the record, no i don't have an account. alrighty, no contact-a-mundo.
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Old 09-11-06, 07:24 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?
Dude, I have been on the web since like 94, on the Internet itself even longer...visibility and exposure of basic personal details comes with the territory. If you want privacy, don't mess around on the Internet. In my case, I accept that I am 'out there' and frankly, I see no reason to hide. But, there is good reason for most folks to hide...and there are things you can do to minimize your profile if you insist on being 'online'. Junk email account for all online registrations helps. Don't keep a blog or a myspace or a personal web site, avoid posting any personal details in forums like this, newsgroups or other communities. Find a dark hole and crawl in it, covering yourself after you do...maybe a nice bunker with lots of plastic and duct tape.
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Old 09-11-06, 07:28 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chipcom
Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea.

euro...Yucchhh
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Old 09-11-06, 07:28 PM   #22
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Blog and forum surf under a pseudonym and NEVER reveal your "Secret Identity"!
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Old 09-11-06, 09:55 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.
Wanna make a bet?
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Old 09-11-06, 10:38 PM   #24
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Create a throw away email and send a message saying "do I know you?"
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Old 09-11-06, 10:46 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
she asked you to shoot her an email not to marry you!
she wants to hear from you, no biggie! say hello, that's all!
noone is forcing you to keep a dialogue! and if she does, then you can handle that problem for so far she only said hi!
haha...ahhh yes THAT Point of View. Personally, if my ex contacted me I would be very aprehensive. She was nuts and caused me more grief than....well...it was all grief.

If she wasn't a nut and you guys were friends before, its possible she wants to be friends after. I know from experience, I can't...and I mean can't...be friends with ex's. The sex always gets in the way and it always ended in a mess of emotions and "currents" being hurt. oh the memories
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