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  1. #1
    so whatcha' want? bigskymacadam's Avatar
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    The Ex has found me. Sort Of.

    ugh. i suppose my internet ramblings and/or blog postings have gotten me some good exposure in the cycling scene here, but with that comes the almighty google indexing search engine. i've tried to remain somewhat anon by not listing my full name on my site, but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

    whatever prompted the contact; i still find strange that she's initiated contact. a couple years ago she found my sister who did not reply. it's been about six years since we parted ways.

    i let sleeping dogs lie. what to do now? lend me advice if you will.

    i'd rather not follow up. she's a nice gal who i'm sure means well. but i just don't want to deal with it; nor do i care to talk about what's been goin' on, etc. and now i'm forced to make a decision to reply or not and if i reply there's probably some expectation to keep a running dialog which i don't want either.

    good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?

  2. #2
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    geeze...what was her comment?
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  3. #3
    so whatcha' want? bigskymacadam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite
    geeze...what was her comment?
    oh! nothing antagonistic or anything. it was "Pls shoot me an Email; Would love to hear from you!"

    it just surprised me and i don't know what to do now. i am quite weirded out, however.

  4. #4
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Put her on "ignore". Oh. That's Bike Forums.

    If you are even asking, there is a little doubt. If there is doubt, there is a reason that you may not even realise yet. I say go by your women's intuition. Uh...MEN'S intuition.

    STAY AWWWAAAAAAY!!!
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    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  5. #5
    Senior Member wahoonc's Avatar
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    My "EX" knows where to find me....writing the checks for alimony Actually it wasn't THAT bad.

    I would ignore the contact.

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  6. #6
    Señor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    She must have you confused with another bigskymacadam.
    The search for inner peace continues...

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
    ugh. i've tried to remain somewhat anon but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

    i still find strange

    she found my sister who did not reply.

    i let sleeping dogs lie.

    i'd rather not follow up.

    but i just don't want to deal with it;

    i'm forced to make a decision to reply

    probably some expectation to keep a running dialog

    which i don't want either.
    Take your take?

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
    oh! nothing antagonistic or anything. it was "Pls shoot me an Email; Would love to hear from you!"

    it just surprised me and i don't know what to do now. i am quite weirded out, however.
    she asked you to shoot her an email not to marry you!
    she wants to hear from you, no biggie! say hello, that's all!
    noone is forcing you to keep a dialogue! and if she does, then you can handle that problem for so far she only said hi!

  9. #9
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    was she ever clingy or needy or nasty to you?

  10. #10
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    I think you had it right the first time... let sleeping dogs lie.
    www.teamnavycycling.org
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  11. #11
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Yeah don't open any can of worms.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  12. #12
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    You can always create a throw-away email account to contact her if you feel the need. The question really is, do you feel the need?
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  13. #13
    Senior Member DannoXYZ's Avatar
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    I'd say to ignore it and do not respond. Things have a bad habit of worsening in a downward spiral.

  14. #14
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skiahh
    I think you had it right the first time... let sleeping dogs lie.
    +1


    Not the same, but I can relate to your feelings. I remember a long term relationship I had with a woman for 2 years....we finally parted (I dumped the crazy biatch). Out of the blue, I had an phone message on my answering machine (new unlisted number which she was not given) from her "just saying hi and call me some time".

    I DID NOT CALL....AND AM GLAD I DID NOT!
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  15. #15
    Warrior Cyclist cycle17's Avatar
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    Let it lay.

    My ex dropped by outside my apartment recently after like two years of silence. She asked why I lived here and I said "because it's 5 minutes from my work and it's affordable." I said "Bye" and went inside. I hope it's about 30 or 40 more years before I hear another peep out of her. I wish her well, but have no desire whatsoever to have any contact with her.

    My advice is move on and ignore the e-mail.
    Just Do It..

  16. #16
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    Im always the softy... no wonder why i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.

  17. #17
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
    ugh. i suppose my internet ramblings and/or blog postings have gotten me some good exposure in the cycling scene here, but with that comes the almighty google indexing search engine. i've tried to remain somewhat anon by not listing my full name on my site, but with some sleuthing and cross referencing i've been contacted by the 'ol ex via blog comment.

    whatever prompted the contact; i still find strange that she's initiated contact. a couple years ago she found my sister who did not reply. it's been about six years since we parted ways.

    i let sleeping dogs lie. what to do now? lend me advice if you will.

    i'd rather not follow up. she's a nice gal who i'm sure means well. but i just don't want to deal with it; nor do i care to talk about what's been goin' on, etc. and now i'm forced to make a decision to reply or not and if i reply there's probably some expectation to keep a running dialog which i don't want either.

    good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?
    If you ignore her, she'll get the message you don't want to reopen any dialogue with her, or that your blog isn't you! Either way, it's a positive outcome if you truly don't want to open up that can of worms again. You broke up for a reason after all!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  18. #18
    your nightmare gal chipcom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    Im always the softy... no wonder why i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.
    Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea.
    "Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey

  19. #19
    so whatcha' want? bigskymacadam's Avatar
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    thank you all for giving me some perspective on this. another reason why foo's rule!

    blondgirl, she used to be jealous and needy for lack of better words; but even that sounds extreme. i guess i'm always the glass half-full guy :) which gets me into trouble too sometimes!!! haha

    edit: she did follow up with another rather innocent request, "Do you or (insertwife'snamehere) have a myspace.com account?" ... i'm sure to add me to her friends list. yeah, i'll shoot for a top eight here! and for the record, no i don't have an account. alrighty, no contact-a-mundo.

  20. #20
    your nightmare gal chipcom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
    good grief! any words of wisdom? what can i expect or do at this point?
    Dude, I have been on the web since like 94, on the Internet itself even longer...visibility and exposure of basic personal details comes with the territory. If you want privacy, don't mess around on the Internet. In my case, I accept that I am 'out there' and frankly, I see no reason to hide. But, there is good reason for most folks to hide...and there are things you can do to minimize your profile if you insist on being 'online'. Junk email account for all online registrations helps. Don't keep a blog or a myspace or a personal web site, avoid posting any personal details in forums like this, newsgroups or other communities. Find a dark hole and crawl in it, covering yourself after you do...maybe a nice bunker with lots of plastic and duct tape.
    "Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey

  21. #21
    Senior Member FXjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chipcom
    Ha, but I had Euro PMing, emailing and even calling me...they don't get no weirder than him! I don't mind getting stalked by purdy gals...but gurly boys from across the pond ain't, excuse the pun, my cup o tea.

    euro...Yucchhh
    It's always the people who believe I exist who provide the strongest evidence I don't.
    -GOD

  22. #22
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Blog and forum surf under a pseudonym and NEVER reveal your "Secret Identity"!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  23. #23
    Victoria's secret MsVicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    i get more encounters with weirdos then anyone else.
    Wanna make a bet?
    Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

  24. #24
    Senior Member mister's Avatar
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    Create a throw away email and send a message saying "do I know you?"
    Brilliant!

  25. #25
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    she asked you to shoot her an email not to marry you!
    she wants to hear from you, no biggie! say hello, that's all!
    noone is forcing you to keep a dialogue! and if she does, then you can handle that problem for so far she only said hi!
    haha...ahhh yes THAT Point of View. Personally, if my ex contacted me I would be very aprehensive. She was nuts and caused me more grief than....well...it was all grief.

    If she wasn't a nut and you guys were friends before, its possible she wants to be friends after. I know from experience, I can't...and I mean can't...be friends with ex's. The sex always gets in the way and it always ended in a mess of emotions and "currents" being hurt. oh the memories

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