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  1. #1
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    2006 Idiot List!

    Number One Idiot of 2006

    I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
    poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
    she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
    the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
    daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
    conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
    poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
    bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

    Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Two Idiot of 2006

    Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
    a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
    of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
    river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
    turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
    beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
    employed at Boeing.

    Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Three Idiot of 2006

    A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
    and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
    standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
    worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
    before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America
    and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few
    minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read
    it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
    light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
    because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
    would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
    Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
    He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
    Bank of America.

    Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Four Idiot of 2006

    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
    measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
    received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
    of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
    days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
    picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

    Smartbutt. But you still get a sign


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Number Five Idiot of 2006

    A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
    of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
    bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
    counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
    but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
    21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
    him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
    driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
    looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put
    the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
    The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
    the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
    hours later.

    This guy definitely needs a sign.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Idiot Number Six of 2006

    A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
    revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
    the startled first bandit shot him.

    This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Idiot Number Seven of 2006

    Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
    he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
    booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
    head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
    unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexi-glass.
    The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign.

    (Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  2. #2
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    LOL

  3. #3
    Hazardous Taerom's Avatar
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    Heh, very nice! I liked #4, very clever idea.

  4. #4
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    Yea I was thinking the guy in number 4 was more of a smartas5 than a dumbas5. But I guess that's why he gets a sign, for being a smartas5.

  5. #5
    Pinstriper SemperFi's Avatar
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    Tom, your idiot list is priceless!
    Specialized Sequoia Elite
    Ride On!

  6. #6
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  7. #7
    Behind EVERYone!!! baj32161's Avatar
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    Now why don't any of these stories surprise me?
    “A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence. ”

    ― Bruce Lee

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    yeah, number 4 is definitely an idiot. I mean $40 is cheap price to pay to speed, just pay it and go on.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    Thanks for the pointers.

  10. #10
    Cheers! 2wheeled's Avatar
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    That's too funny, reminds me of the Darwin awards.

  11. #11
    '05 NUEser EJ123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taerom
    Heh, very nice! I liked #4, very clever idea.
    +1 LOL

  12. #12
    Behind EVERYone!!! baj32161's Avatar
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    Hey 2wheeled...who is trhe cute pooch in your avatar?
    “A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence. ”

    ― Bruce Lee

  13. #13
    J3L 2404 gbcb's Avatar
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    Are these for real?

  14. #14
    Nothing here to see!!!!!! flyingscotsman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe

    (Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)
    Worse they are allow to procreate

  15. #15
    Cheers! 2wheeled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by baj32161
    Hey 2wheeled...who is trhe cute pooch in your avatar?
    That would be our baby boy Riley. He's a 7 year old Lhasa

  16. #16
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gbcb
    Are these for real?
    These are real people! Scary thought, eh?
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  17. #17
    Senior Member Keith99's Avatar
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    While some of the main people in the stories are idiots it seems that some of the others are not too bright either or have no sense of self preservation. Oh the stories are funny, but would you talk back to a nervous fool with a ***? Look at the guy who shot his partner in crime, same could have happened to the Wells Fargo teller or liqour store clerk.

  18. #18
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    Stupid people make me laugh...

    Best one ever is the person who tries to go the wrong way in the revolving door, but is too dumb to try it in the other direction, and instead goes to the other revolving door, and tries it in the wrong direction as well...then gets pissed and leaves.

    I saw this happen over and over at one particular store in chicago one day, while I sat back and drank down a slush puppy.
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Mr. Gear Jammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe
    Number One Idiot of 2006

    I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
    poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
    she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
    the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
    daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
    conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
    poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
    bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

    Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Two Idiot of 2006

    Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
    a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
    of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
    river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
    turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
    beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
    employed at Boeing.

    Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Three Idiot of 2006

    A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
    and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
    standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
    worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
    before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America
    and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few
    minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read
    it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
    light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
    because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
    would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
    Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
    He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
    Bank of America.

    Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Four Idiot of 2006

    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
    measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
    received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
    of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
    days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
    picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

    Smartbutt. But you still get a sign


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Number Five Idiot of 2006

    A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
    of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
    bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
    counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
    but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
    21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
    him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
    driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
    looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put
    the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
    The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
    the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
    hours later.

    This guy definitely needs a sign.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Idiot Number Six of 2006

    A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
    revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
    the startled first bandit shot him.

    This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Idiot Number Seven of 2006

    Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
    he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
    booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
    head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
    unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexi-glass.
    The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign.

    (Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)

    Those people make me feel smarter, we need more of those people.

  20. #20
    Immoderator KrisPistofferson's Avatar
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    I sat next to numbers seven, four and two on the bus today, I believe.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bikeforums
    Your rights end where another poster's feelings begin.

  21. #21
    . botto's Avatar
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    bump.

    oh, i nominate killer termite for the 2009 list. just because.

  22. #22
    Señor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    Maybe Tom can fill us in with the 2007 and 2008 editions.
    The search for inner peace continues...

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