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  1. #1
    Senior Member DannoXYZ's Avatar
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    Corny Pick-up Lines (don't click if you're easily offended by human-nature)

    So ah... after leaving the clubs last Sunday night, I see this guy out on the street-corner hitting up every chic that goes buy. I can see from their expressions outright rejection, "nope", "no-way", one of them even slaps him!

    I watched him for a little bit and he must've been shot down in flames at least 20-times. I edge a little closer to hear what he's saying... too far away, can't quite make it out... I edge a little closer still... still can't hear. I was already at the corner of the building and couldn't get any closer without being too obvious. So I waited for an opening in the crowd and walk up to him...

    me: So ah... how's it going? Notice you're working the betties and are not having much luck...
    him: Oh.. it's working, I'll get one yet!
    me: You do know that the last one you hit up was a lesbian right?
    him: Nawh, really? could've fooled me, I'll take one anyway.
    me: What's your technique? Are you using some kind of a line on them?
    him: Yeah, it's awesome, I just go up to them and say, "Wanna have sex?"
    me: Why are you using THAT? It's obviously not working, I just saw 20 chics turn you down!
    him: Sure... but you know what? Sometimes... it WORKS!!!

  2. #2
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Do you know the difference betwqeen steamy hot sex and a hamburger? No, cool, wanna go out for a burger?
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  3. #3
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    i like my corn before it has been picked. Does that make me a stalker?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  4. #4
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    I used to work with a bartender who used that philosophy. Now, I guess he was a pretty good looking guy because he said he usually enjoyed about a 10% success rate. He said for every 10 girls he asked, on average 7 would just say no, 1 would laugh, 1 would slap him and one would say yes. Usually by the end of a shift, he'd have one or two women waiting for him at the end of the bar.
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  5. #5
    Hazardous Taerom's Avatar
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    Heh, I'm sure that alcohol had no effect what-so-ever on his 10% success rate.

  6. #6
    Kicked out of the Webelos bluebottle1's Avatar
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    I was told of a guy whose line was, "Yo, blonde...f**k?"

    I understand his success rate was substantially less than 10%.
    ______________________________________________

    Kicked out of the Webelos.

  7. #7
    Senior Member russiankdi's Avatar
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    This one i heard somewhere "your gorgeous, get naked"
    or something like this
    " I have no one to share the table i just ordered at the restuarant, join me"
    I forgot where i heard that one, i heard it works tho
    1978 Schwinn Varsity Single Speed

  8. #8
    Warrior Cyclist cycle17's Avatar
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    "You know what would look good on you?....ME."

    This never works unlsess you are already dating the women! LOL
    Just Do It..

  9. #9
    Cheers! 2wheeled's Avatar
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    "Once you've had a guy with no legs you'll never go back" Eddie Murphy-Trading Places

  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    guy: "hey baby you like apples?"
    girl: "oh sure, I like apples"
    guy: "how 'bout I take you back to my place and f*** the sh** out of you, how do you like them apples?"

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taerom
    Heh, I'm sure that alcohol had no effect what-so-ever on his 10% success rate.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    So how do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled, or fertilized?
    Bring back the Sig Test!


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  13. #13
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I really never say anything. I just sit near a group of single women, make eye contact, and then lick my eyebrow.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  14. #14
    Ha ha ha ha ha giantcfr1's Avatar
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    Ok...
    Guy: Hi would you like to come home with me?
    Girl: I'm sorry I'm on my menstrual cycle.
    Guy: That's ok, I have my Honda out the front, I'll race you home.

    edit...Let's change that to "TREK out the front"
    Road Bike: 2004 ORBEA Mitis2+Carbon, Freekin' groovy Urban / Mountain Road Cruising Bike: 2007 CANNONDALE Bad Boy Disc, MTB: 2012 Trek Gary Fisher Collection Marlin WSD 29er

  15. #15
    Banned.
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    His method might work depending on what he looks like. If he looks like Brad Pitt's identical twin, then he'll likely shag one early on. Sure she'll probably look over her shoulder a couple times as she walks away with him, but still...

    On the other hand, if he is uglier than a sack of hammers, maybe the success rate will fall. I haven't been single for a looooooooong time, but I never used to rely on one liners. It's pretty easy to tell if somebody is in to you or not. If they were, I would just move in for the kill.

    If not, then you just keep looking. One liners suck!

  16. #16
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by giantcfr1
    Ok...
    Guy: Hi would you like to come home with me?
    Girl: I'm sorry I'm on my menstrual cycle.
    Guy: That's ok, I have my Honda out the front, I'll race you home.

    edit...Let's change that to "TREK out the front"

    skebbe, that was pretty bad.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  17. #17
    J3L 2404 gbcb's Avatar
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    Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".

  18. #18
    . bbattle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr
    I really never say anything. I just sit near a group of single women, make eye contact, and then lick my eyebrow.
    So, you're that gecko pimping car insurance.

  19. #19
    Hazardous Taerom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gbcb
    Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".
    Ha, I like that one!

  20. #20
    Chicken farmer! Eboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gbcb
    Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".
    That's the worst? That's pimp! My new goal this weekend is to actually use it. However, I don't think my success rate will be high at at. I don't think my cat swings that way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    Will they be snackrificed on a roll of sourdough?

  21. #21
    J3L 2404 gbcb's Avatar
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    Ok, it's not quite as nasty as others that have been posted, but it is pretty corny -- and isn't that what this thread is about?


    Edit: You swing your cat???

  22. #22
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    Nice shoes, lets ****
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  23. #23
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    What has 98 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper

    My other favorite: Get in the trunk!
    Masochism is a training adaptation.

  24. #24
    Chicken farmer! Eboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gbcb
    Ok, it's not quite as nasty as others that have been posted, but it is pretty corny -- and isn't that what this thread is about?


    Edit: You swing your cat???
    Only when she begs for it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    Will they be snackrificed on a roll of sourdough?

  25. #25
    staring at the mountains superdex's Avatar
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    "Hi" works pretty well for me, though if the conversation is lively enough, I'll throw in a one liner or two like that just to be a ham. I like the wet clothes one. In the right moment, whispered in her ear low and sultry, might just be effective ...

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