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Old 10-05-06, 07:33 PM   #1
DannoXYZ 
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Corny Pick-up Lines (don't click if you're easily offended by human-nature)

So ah... after leaving the clubs last Sunday night, I see this guy out on the street-corner hitting up every chic that goes buy. I can see from their expressions outright rejection, "nope", "no-way", one of them even slaps him!

I watched him for a little bit and he must've been shot down in flames at least 20-times. I edge a little closer to hear what he's saying... too far away, can't quite make it out... I edge a little closer still... still can't hear. I was already at the corner of the building and couldn't get any closer without being too obvious. So I waited for an opening in the crowd and walk up to him...

me: So ah... how's it going? Notice you're working the betties and are not having much luck...
him: Oh.. it's working, I'll get one yet!
me: You do know that the last one you hit up was a lesbian right?
him: Nawh, really? could've fooled me, I'll take one anyway.
me: What's your technique? Are you using some kind of a line on them?
him: Yeah, it's awesome, I just go up to them and say, "Wanna have sex?"
me: Why are you using THAT? It's obviously not working, I just saw 20 chics turn you down!
him: Sure... but you know what? Sometimes... it WORKS!!!
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Old 10-05-06, 07:36 PM   #2
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Do you know the difference betwqeen steamy hot sex and a hamburger? No, cool, wanna go out for a burger?
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Old 10-05-06, 07:39 PM   #3
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i like my corn before it has been picked. Does that make me a stalker?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 10-05-06, 08:15 PM   #4
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I used to work with a bartender who used that philosophy. Now, I guess he was a pretty good looking guy because he said he usually enjoyed about a 10% success rate. He said for every 10 girls he asked, on average 7 would just say no, 1 would laugh, 1 would slap him and one would say yes. Usually by the end of a shift, he'd have one or two women waiting for him at the end of the bar.
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Old 10-05-06, 08:20 PM   #5
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Heh, I'm sure that alcohol had no effect what-so-ever on his 10% success rate.
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Old 10-05-06, 09:08 PM   #6
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I was told of a guy whose line was, "Yo, blonde...f**k?"

I understand his success rate was substantially less than 10%.
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Old 10-05-06, 09:17 PM   #7
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This one i heard somewhere "your gorgeous, get naked"
or something like this
" I have no one to share the table i just ordered at the restuarant, join me"
I forgot where i heard that one, i heard it works tho
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Old 10-05-06, 09:26 PM   #8
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"You know what would look good on you?....ME."

This never works unlsess you are already dating the women! LOL
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Old 10-05-06, 10:05 PM   #9
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"Once you've had a guy with no legs you'll never go back" Eddie Murphy-Trading Places
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Old 10-05-06, 11:41 PM   #10
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guy: "hey baby you like apples?"
girl: "oh sure, I like apples"
guy: "how 'bout I take you back to my place and f*** the sh** out of you, how do you like them apples?"
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Old 10-06-06, 03:42 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taerom
Heh, I'm sure that alcohol had no effect what-so-ever on his 10% success rate.
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Old 10-06-06, 05:34 AM   #12
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So how do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled, or fertilized?
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Old 10-06-06, 07:23 AM   #13
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I really never say anything. I just sit near a group of single women, make eye contact, and then lick my eyebrow.
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Quote:
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 10-06-06, 08:31 AM   #14
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Ok...
Guy: Hi would you like to come home with me?
Girl: I'm sorry I'm on my menstrual cycle.
Guy: That's ok, I have my Honda out the front, I'll race you home.

edit...Let's change that to "TREK out the front"
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Old 10-06-06, 08:58 AM   #15
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His method might work depending on what he looks like. If he looks like Brad Pitt's identical twin, then he'll likely shag one early on. Sure she'll probably look over her shoulder a couple times as she walks away with him, but still...

On the other hand, if he is uglier than a sack of hammers, maybe the success rate will fall. I haven't been single for a looooooooong time, but I never used to rely on one liners. It's pretty easy to tell if somebody is in to you or not. If they were, I would just move in for the kill.

If not, then you just keep looking. One liners suck!
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Old 10-06-06, 09:16 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by giantcfr1
Ok...
Guy: Hi would you like to come home with me?
Girl: I'm sorry I'm on my menstrual cycle.
Guy: That's ok, I have my Honda out the front, I'll race you home.

edit...Let's change that to "TREK out the front"

skebbe, that was pretty bad.
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Old 10-06-06, 09:22 AM   #17
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Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".
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Old 10-06-06, 09:30 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr
I really never say anything. I just sit near a group of single women, make eye contact, and then lick my eyebrow.
So, you're that gecko pimping car insurance.
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Old 10-06-06, 09:32 AM   #19
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Quote:
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Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".
Ha, I like that one!
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Old 10-06-06, 09:33 AM   #20
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Quote:
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Perhaps the worst I've heard goes like this: You lick your finger, wipe it on the target's shirt, and say "let's get you out of these wet clothes".
That's the worst? That's pimp! My new goal this weekend is to actually use it. However, I don't think my success rate will be high at at. I don't think my cat swings that way.
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Old 10-06-06, 09:42 AM   #21
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Ok, it's not quite as nasty as others that have been posted, but it is pretty corny -- and isn't that what this thread is about?


Edit: You swing your cat???
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Old 10-06-06, 09:45 AM   #22
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Nice shoes, lets ****
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Old 10-06-06, 09:47 AM   #23
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What has 98 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper

My other favorite: Get in the trunk!
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Old 10-06-06, 09:47 AM   #24
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Quote:
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Ok, it's not quite as nasty as others that have been posted, but it is pretty corny -- and isn't that what this thread is about?


Edit: You swing your cat???
Only when she begs for it.
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Old 10-06-06, 10:10 AM   #25
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"Hi" works pretty well for me, though if the conversation is lively enough, I'll throw in a one liner or two like that just to be a ham. I like the wet clothes one. In the right moment, whispered in her ear low and sultry, might just be effective ...
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