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Old 10-09-06, 07:28 PM   #26
snowy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phantomcow2
I am 17. SHe is actually older than me! SHe turns 18 in just under 2 weeks.

Tom, she would probably nullify any chance we had of getting together if she read this, but I think you are right! It just seems like when I gave my advice, it would only bring tension. She even said it hurt that I thought she should do something regarding her family.

I don't plan to date anybody else. My feelings toward her are pretty strong. To my surprise, she actually said that if I want to-
well, to put it simply, a temporary friends w/ benefits relationship is oh-kay.

But then it's an uber fine line. How much do I actually say? If I speak too much, especially regarding advice, it is not good. But if I say too little, then will I be accused of not caring or listening? Tight rope walking...

This is an awkward spot.
Don't do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It never ends up good. BELIEVE ME. Its just going to make it harder for you both when it finally comes to an end. Plus, there are plenty of girls out there that need some lovin!!!!
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Old 10-09-06, 07:29 PM   #27
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I do understand the points made in these replies urging me to move on. I have always taught myself to avoid being upset about something out of my control. Or at least, to just not allow something to bring me down. That is working, I am in a good mood. I don't know if I can just move on though. But, I will see how I feel over the next few while. If I feel my feelings dwindle, the drive to change taper off, well, maybe move on is the answer.

She tells me that this was her only choice. I disagree, but I believe it was best not to tell her that . Learning already!
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Old 10-09-06, 07:32 PM   #28
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I can't think of any girls that would match a chicken legged guy who loves to play with his toys and wears funny Italian brand named skin tight shorts!
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Old 10-09-06, 07:33 PM   #29
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As the title promised,
Positively charged Karma has been awarded to contributers of this thread.

Behold
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Old 10-09-06, 07:36 PM   #30
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Don't sell yourself short! You're a smart and funny guy. There's plenty of well-adjusted, emotionally stable girls that digs that. Don't judge yourself based on other people's views, they're looking through the colored glasses of their own lives. You've got a tonne of good things going for you, just hang out with the people that appreciates you. Plenty of fish in the ocean!
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Old 10-09-06, 07:38 PM   #31
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Ive changed my mind, ask danno out. I think he likes you!
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Old 10-09-06, 07:39 PM   #32
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Im not even going to read what others said.. this is the first thing i thought about.
First off, im really sorry.. I know how much it can hurt.
Advice? you may not want to hear this but you ask and this is my advice.
Move on now... dont suffer through a break with expectations..
When things are broken off to begin with.. they are broken off, something is broken.
Even if you give this a try later after the break, your trust in her will be broken, your heart was broken by her and that's something you will never get passed.
breaks are often an excuse someone gives to you so that they dont let you down too hard.
Move on from her and start healing, big hug
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Old 10-09-06, 07:40 PM   #33
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I think that you should go with your gut. Do what you feel is right, and go with what you feel is the right thing to do. All the people in the world can tell you what is best in this situation based on their life experience, but ultimitely it's your decision. It may not be the most wise, but maybe you need to learn this the hard way. So what if it doesn't work out? You'll learn from it, bounce back, and keep going. Who's it going to hurt to give it another try?

I mean really, she's just asking you to be more considerate about what you say. I don't think that is unreasonable at all. Even if she overeacts.
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Old 10-09-06, 07:41 PM   #34
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listen to bdg...she is very wise.
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Old 10-09-06, 07:48 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phantomcow2
As the title promised,
Positively charged Karma has been awarded to contributers of this thread.

Behold
Huh what? I want Karma cookies!

or was I supposed to contribute something useful to the thread?

A couple of my friends are going through relationship problems at the moment. Just remember this great song: John Cougar Mellencamp - Hurts So Good:

When I was a young boy said put away those young boy ways
Now that I'm gettin' older, so much older I love all those young boy days
With a girl like you, with a girl like you
Lord knows there are things we can do, baby, just me and you
Come on and make it

Hurt so good
Come on baby, make it hurt so good
Sometimes love don't feel like it should
You make it hurt so good
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Old 10-09-06, 07:53 PM   #36
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Or maybe a more appropriate song would be 99 Problems by Jay-Z

If ya havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a b*tch ain't one!
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Old 10-09-06, 07:55 PM   #37
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Well, I know things will be awkward if we do get together again. But, I think about a family friend who I like very much, an english couple. They had some significant maritial issues, with a 3 year old daughter in between. They separated for a year, daughter living with mother. They both had their own little apartments on the other end of town. Well, they did manage to get back together. I imagine it was extremely difficult, but they are very happy now. The fact that they have had another child recently I would think is proof.

But, I also feel this is the exception .
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Old 10-09-06, 07:56 PM   #38
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I mean really, she's just asking you to be more considerate about what you say. I don't think that is unreasonable at all. Even if she overeacts.
That is what I am thinking. I don't think her request is unreasonable. I do however wish she would have told me more explicitely before this was all she could think to do.
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Old 10-09-06, 07:58 PM   #39
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That is what I am thinking. I don't think her request is unreasonable. I do however wish she would have told me more explicitely before this was all she could think to do.
The way she dealt with it was due to her immaturity. Which I'm sure both of you exhibit, and in time hopefully will be outgrown.
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Old 10-09-06, 09:54 PM   #40
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Okay, pardon me for being a total cynic, but has it ever occurred to you that she is trying to dump your ass but doesn't have the guts, so she has to make it your fault somehow? You said this is her first relationship. Therefore, she's never had to break up with anyone and probably doesn't know how.

Second, you are way, way too young to be dating anyone for as long as three years. Get out and move on.

Incidentally, with regard to one of your comments, you don't need a good relationship or love to conceive a child, just working genitalia. It doesn't prove a thing. Ask the thousands of children who come from broken homes.
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Old 10-09-06, 10:01 PM   #41
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Aww, honey! You are a sweetheart! Time for some TLC (Trollie Loving Care)! Let's go for a nekkid bike ride!



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Old 10-09-06, 10:20 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingTermite
You are who you are....and if you need to "change" to be right, then you aren't right.

Drop it and move on.
KT is the man for that quote.

Anyway, the whole separation thing smells of lack of commitment. What does she want, to go date a bunch of other people and have you to fall back on if none of them work out?

If she was serious about this you guys would work hard on this right now and try to fix it. Think about it. If you broke your bike would you just quit riding it for 6 months and wait for it to fix itself?
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Old 10-09-06, 10:29 PM   #43
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Aww, honey! You are a sweetheart! Time for some TLC (Trollie Loving Care)! Let's go for a nekkid bike ride!



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Old 10-09-06, 10:36 PM   #44
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I could use some good Karma...
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Old 10-09-06, 10:45 PM   #45
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if you have to worry about what you say all the time, that is no way to live, go your seporat ways and if she comes back then ok in a relationship you both have to give and it sounds like you do all the giving
been there done that with my ex wife. there are others that will understand you, you just have to find them,
dont settle if you dont have to
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Old 10-09-06, 11:02 PM   #46
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Is this the same girl you write about with all the problems at home? If so, she's not going to be happy with anyone in any relationship until she has straightened out her problems with her parents.

Assuming she is the same girl, how can she be happy with you if she isn't happy with herself?
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Old 10-09-06, 11:13 PM   #47
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Heh. Asking for love advice on the internet.
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Old 10-10-06, 02:11 AM   #48
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I don't recall any love poems written...

I dam not sure if she is trying to just dump me though, especially given what she has said.

DxChulo, I thought the same. I told her in relationships there are dips, encouraging us to work through it. She says I am making her miserable though, but can't give me a concrete reason why. There is the insensitive thing, but I am inclined to agree that until her parental situation is worked out, she won't be happy with any relationship more than 'good friend' status.
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Old 10-10-06, 03:09 AM   #49
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You better be careful: Women ready to kill men for their stupid remarks.
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Old 10-10-06, 07:06 AM   #50
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Yeah, don't worry about it too much, everything's perfectly natural with what's going on. You don't need to go all-out all the time like with the guys. Chic humour is a different style than guy humour, it's kinda "silly". Plus chics are different and they speak a different language. It's not what you say, and not even how you say it, it's the effect the communications has on the other side. And you want to tailor your communications so that it has the intended effect. Which means the exact words and delivery-method will vary from person-to-person.

Take some time off and get away first; better you appear not to be groveling. Hang out with your buddies, go out with other chics, take the Feb-17 booty-call and move on with life.
best advice I have read so far.
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