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  1. #1
    explody pup
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    AHHHHHHHHH! FRIDAY THE 13th!

    My machete is dull and rusty, my need for blind vengence for those who crossed me is at an all-time high, and the pure evil that gives me life is screaming for blood... it's gonna be a good weekend.

    Don't go out in the woods alone, kids (I need as many of you as I can get...)

  2. #2
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    Dude, machetes are soooooooo, like, LAST killin' season. This year's hot ticket is dull spoons.
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    Hey pup, this weekend wanna meet me in the woods and help me proccess some squirills and hopefully wrabbits with your machete? You can chop off the heads, but I wanna do the gutting.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  4. #4
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michigander
    Hey pup, this weekend wanna meet me in the woods and help me proccess some squirills and hopefully wrabbits with your machete? You can chop off the heads, but I wanna do the gutting.
    Sounds like you just got yourself a head-chopper.

  5. #5
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaabFan
    Dude, machetes are soooooooo, like, LAST killin' season. This year's hot ticket is dull spoons.
    My thirst for blood is timeless, you scenester!

  6. #6
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Why wait for a silly Friday the 13th to let your hate pour forth upon the masses? I unleash the evil that is my soul on an almost nightly basis. I however prefer to use the comfy chair and the soft cushions as my weapons of choice. If in a truly foul humour, i will resort to the rack.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  7. #7
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    Our TWO weapons of choice - the rusty machete, the dull spoon, and . . . THE RACK!!! Threee. . . our THREE weapons of choice - rusty machete, dull spoon, the rack, and witty MP references! errrr, hold on, I'll do that again. . . .
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  8. #8
    explody pup
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    Reminds me I've been wanting to put the Flying Circus on my Netflix queue. And stabbing people. I've also been wanting to stab people.

    jsharr, my hate is akin to the tides. Or maybe a capacitor. It builds up then unleashed with the fury of Hell! Plus I couldn't find any summer camps to terroize this year so I'm kinda backed up and cranky. The rivers will run red with blood!

  9. #9
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Reminds me I've been wanting to put the Flying Circus on my Netflix queue. And stabbing people. I've also been wanting to stab people.
    I been practicing my stabbing motion for months now. After my 2nd cup of coffee is done, I'm gonna go loiter by Starbucks w/ a duffel full of sporks.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  10. #10
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyossarian
    I been practicing my stabbing motion for months now. After my 2nd cup of coffee is done, I'm gonna go loiter by Starbucks w/ a duffel full of sporks.
    You an over-hand or under-hand stabber?

  11. #11
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    You an over-hand or under-hand stabber?
    Careful, they may have had self defence training and can fight off either type of stabber.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  12. #12
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    You an over-hand or under-hand stabber?
    I stabs wit both hands. Under-hand stabber. A kick to the nutz may precede the stabbing motion.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  13. #13
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    Nut kicking tends to destabilise the victim though, making it harder to place accurate stabs.
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  14. #14
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyossarian
    I stabs wit both hands. Under-hand stabber. A kick to the nutz may precede the stabbing motion.
    Ahhhh, I see... get the torso moving downward in response to the nut-kicking as the stabbing impliments move upward. Brilliant. I'd love to see it in person.

  15. #15
    eert a ekil yzarc SpiderMike's Avatar
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    Here is your friendly occupational hazard tip of the day. Before you start slashing away, make sure to put in your ear protection. Screams have gotten to dangerous decibels as of late. It saves your hearing for the cops. Not to mention the earplugs could be used to throw off your trackers.

  16. #16
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpiderMike
    Here is your friendly occupational hazard tip of the day. Before you start slashing away, make sure to put in your ear protection. Screams have gotten to dangerous decibels as of late. It saves your hearing for the cops. Not to mention the earplugs could be used to throw off your trackers.
    just stab your victims in the larynx to begin with.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  17. #17
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr
    just stab your victims in the larynx to begin with.
    Word.

  18. #18
    ambassador of good will *new*guy's Avatar
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    Today is my company's annual party thing. Pretty interesting that they chose such an appropriate day for it. Perhaps the electric slide or Macarena will trigger a pavlovian-like response in one of my colleagues and there will be bloodshed.

  19. #19
    Senior Member rando's Avatar
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    I like a chainsaw. on a pole.
    "Think of bicycles as rideable art that can just about save the world". ~Grant Petersen

    Cyclists fare best when they recognize that there are times when acting vehicularly is not the best practice, and are flexible enough to do what is necessary as the situation warrants.--Me

  20. #20
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    In a house? With a mouse?

    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  21. #21
    Senior Member rando's Avatar
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    on a boat, or with a goat...
    "Think of bicycles as rideable art that can just about save the world". ~Grant Petersen

    Cyclists fare best when they recognize that there are times when acting vehicularly is not the best practice, and are flexible enough to do what is necessary as the situation warrants.--Me

  22. #22
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    In a do rag, with a ball gag?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  23. #23
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Word.
    No word. Stab your victim in the lungs (sneak up on them from behind). Once their lungs are punctured, they can't inhale to scream. Then you can take your time while they stagger trying to breathe and enjoy the danse macabre.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  24. #24
    your nightmare gal chipcom's Avatar
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    Stuffed in Uranus, so he don't shame us
    "Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey

  25. #25
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyossarian
    No word. Stab your victim in the lungs (sneak up on them from behind). Once their lungs are punctured, they can't inhale to scream. Then you can take your time while they stagger trying to breathe and enjoy the danse macabre.
    This is another reason I like killing in the woods. I can hack and chop and they can scream and scream and no cops are called (and, yes, I do wear earplugs, thanks). I don't like being locked into a certain way of slaying my innocent victims... not that they're innocent, really. They were smokin' drugs and doin' sex in the tent, fer crying out loud! Anyway, I like to give each and every person a unique experience. Sometimes that requires a LOT of screaming. Sometimes it's a dull THUCK as I sink a pickaxe into his/her skull.

    *shrug*

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