Maybe this is a little too bike-related to be in Foo but it's mostly for the entertainment value that I like this Craigslist listing for a bike.
Imagine what would happen if Madison Avenue started using this style:
It won't make you look ten years younger but it'll get you clean. It's soap. What did you expect?
It's good beer but it's only beer and if you don't look like the beautiful people in the ad, don't think for a minute it'll increase your chances of getting laid.
Our airline will fly you there cheap but don't expect to be comfortable unless you buy first class.
Vote for this candidate, even if s/he doesn't really mean everything s/he says.