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Old 10-26-06, 03:45 PM   #1
Portis
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Are you friendly to your neighbors?

THe other neighbor post got me thinking about this one. Are you friendly to your neighbors? When i moved in here about 9 years ago, I quickly became perturbed by my neighbors. There are about 3 families that virtually live together. I've never understood it.

They come home from work, go inside and then go over to each other's houses. This happens just about every night year round. One night at one house the other at the other house, etc. They've tried to reel us in over the year's but the wife and I have been to hard to set the hook in. We believe that if you get too crazy cozy like that, then you give up your freedom.

I don't want somebody else in my house every time that i come home from work. I'm happy with my own family. I don't see it in very many other neighborhoods. In the summer here in our 'hood, the streets are full with these people out talking to each other all night long. You can't even go for a walk, etc. without getting accosted. It's like, look i have 45 minutes of free time this evening to go for a walk with my wife, I don't want to spend it talking to you about the trivial crap that neighbors talk about.

So we've sort of held our distance and we aren't overly friendly. I'm pretty sure they view us as snobs, but i'm fine with that. Some of my neighbors on the other side of the block have it figured out and all give each other their space. They might visit with each other 3 or 4 times per year, but not every freakin night!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-26-06, 04:05 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Portis
THe other neighbor post got me thinking about this one. Are you friendly to your neighbors? When i moved in here about 9 years ago, I quickly became perturbed by my neighbors. There are about 3 families that virtually live together. I've never understood it.

They come home from work, go inside and then go over to each other's houses. This happens just about every night year round. One night at one house the other at the other house, etc. They've tried to reel us in over the year's but the wife and I have been to hard to set the hook in. We believe that if you get too crazy cozy like that, then you give up your freedom.

I don't want somebody else in my house every time that i come home from work. I'm happy with my own family. I don't see it in very many other neighborhoods. In the summer here in our 'hood, the streets are full with these people out talking to each other all night long. You can't even go for a walk, etc. without getting accosted. It's like, look i have 45 minutes of free time this evening to go for a walk with my wife, I don't want to spend it talking to you about the trivial crap that neighbors talk about.

So we've sort of held our distance and we aren't overly friendly. I'm pretty sure they view us as snobs, but i'm fine with that. Some of my neighbors on the other side of the block have it figured out and all give each other their space. They might visit with each other 3 or 4 times per year, but not every freakin night!!!!!!!!!!
Neighbors what are they?, i don't think i have eat a neighbor before. It must be an expensive product. You see where i'm going with on this, my answer is no .
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Old 10-26-06, 04:17 PM   #3
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Well, aside from wanting to put BC into a straightjacket and then lauching her into the bay via a giant trebuchet...I think I'm pretty friendly overall.


BC is the nickname I gave for the psycho downstairs (BC = Bats**t Crazy)....she's known for starting crap with her boyfriend/husband/moron constantly.....and she has to make it known to the entire world that they are arguing.

Honestly, I think I would find a pooping squirrel so much more amusing than her crap....and the fact I would rather rip hairs out of my nose than watch that says a whole lot.
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Old 10-26-06, 04:23 PM   #4
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that why i could never living in a damn suburb. it either has to be completely rural or in a city like where i live now. both of those offer to freedom from all that small talk garbage. i barely know my neighbors, and most of them i only know by sight, i have no idea what their names are.
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Old 10-26-06, 04:23 PM   #5
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Hmm, I try to not be a pest and to get along with my neighbors. I make a conscious effort to not park in front of their house or block their mailbox. Don't have the music too load and keep late-night parties indoors. One of my neighbors is a newly-married couple that's really fun. I knew her from when she was a high-school kid and mom moved out when they got married. They come over for parties, BBQs, play with the pets, ping-pong tourneys, croquet, etc.




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Old 10-26-06, 04:33 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by timmhaan
that why i could never living in a damn suburb. it either has to be completely rural or in a city like where i live now. both of those offer to freedom from all that small talk garbage. i barely know my neighbors, and most of them i only know by sight, i have no idea what their names are.
I live in a smaller midwest city, population 50,000. I've never lived in a big city, but it has always been my assumption that what you just said is true. It is also my belief that if you get too chummy with your neighbors, then you start to lose freedom.

Interestingly, I grew up in a town of about 100 people and went to school in a town of about 2,000. In the small town everyone always said they would never want to live in the "city" because you would be around "all those people" and lose your freedom.

I moved away and found out that in fact, it is just the opposite. You are surrounded by people but hardly a one of them knows a damned thing about you. While in the smaller community all 2,000 residents know you by name and also what you had for lunch.

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Old 10-26-06, 04:34 PM   #7
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Consider yourself lucky that you have friendly neighbors. I recently had a bunch of noisy weed-smoking students move across a shared driveway from me. I reported them to their property manager and had them evicted. I don't have anything against people who smoke weed - I used to partake when I was younger - however, they were regularly toking up outside where everyone, including my young daughter, could see them. I kindly asked them to keep the noise down and keep the weed smoking indoors, to which they told me to f--- off and mind my own business. They've since been evicted, but it was a brutal 2 months we had to tolerate them.

Now on the other side of my house, we have another bunch of students that drink a lot, smoke weed and crystal meth. I just spoke to the landlord of that house, and he's told me that he's not going to renew their lease, but we'll have to wait another 7 months until their lease finishes.

We live in a very nice neighborhood too. Home sales nearby have been averaging a little over a million for property comparable to ours. However, it's near the University of Hawaii, and many students think that it's perfectly acceptable to get a group of 7 or 8 friends, rent a big house, and turn it into an unpoliced dormitory.

So be grateful for having friendly neighbors. I'm sure they understand that you want to keep your distance. And I bet that if you later decided to join their "inner circle", you'd be welcome with open arms.
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Old 10-26-06, 04:40 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Portis
I live in a smaller midwest city, population 50,000. I've never lived in a big city, but it has always been my assumption that what you just said is true. It is also my belief that if you get too chummy with your neighbors, then you start to lose freedom.
yep - in fact, i've gone entire days where i've not said a single word to anyone. big cities can be very lonely places sometimes (which works perfectly for me!).
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Old 10-26-06, 04:49 PM   #9
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My old building was very cool. We'd all hang out on the stoop and yeah, we'd find each other over each other's apt a few times a week. I'd have dinner over my next door neighbor's maybe twice a month. It was nice having that sense of community without any sort of BS.

My building now is pretty quiet. My floor is actually awesome. When I had my band we'd practice on Friday nights and people on the floor would drop by, listen for a bit. It was like a small (<10) party without being crazy. Unfortunately the lead guitarist was an alcoholic, I made the decision to cut out all alcohol during rehearsals so that environment went away. I'm friendly with most of the people in my building. I had a New Year's party and so did a neighbor down the hall. When the ball was going to drop we combined parties - I wound up spending a few hours over there relaxing!

Of course there's always an exception. The guy under me is a HUGE PITA. Complains about every little sound - so when he files a complaint I roll up the rugs and pace in my boots with quarters on the bottom in the middle of the night for a week. He stops complaining for a few months then starts again. I wasn't even moved in and he was complaining. Apparently he has a reputation for that.

I wouldn't mind that kind of small town environment. Doesn't have to be having people over for formal dinners but walking over with a 12 pack and watching a game together is fun. Beats going to the bar by myself which is what I do now. I wouldn't want to be in a small town where everyone gossips about everyone else though. I guess I want the best of both worlds!
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Old 10-26-06, 05:00 PM   #10
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Of course there's always an exception. The guy under me is a HUGE PITA. Complains about every little sound - so when he files a complaint I roll up the rugs and pace in my boots with quarters on the bottom in the middle of the night for a week. He stops complaining for a few months then starts again. I wasn't even moved in and he was complaining. Apparently he has a reputation for that.
Wow, you sound like a really considerate fellow
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Old 10-26-06, 05:14 PM   #11
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I am actually. When I come in I always take off my shoes, walk on the balls of my feet (I dance so I'm surprisingly light for my size) and doubled up the padding on the carpet where I walk. I wasn't moved in yet and he was complaining about me moving furniture (which I had none in at the time) on a Saturday afternoon - I was in the kitchen while the neighbor next to me was hammering. I politely suggested that he heard the other guy (since the other neighbor was hammering while he was at the door) and offered a drink. He insisted it was me, stuttered and stormed off. It's only gotten better since!

I've heard complaints from the super and other tenants in the building about him - he loves to complain about everything (traffic, a dog barking, talking in the hallway during the day, etc....) that all seems to be everyone else's fault. So the only thing I could think of was to show him what noise really was since he obviously didn't have a clue.

This is New York Effin' City. If you can't deal with sounds 24/7 you're in the wrong town. There are 8 million people - you're going to hear something.
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Old 10-26-06, 05:17 PM   #12
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I moved out of the first house I was able to buy after only 8 months because of the neighbors. It was like watching a different episode of COPS out each window.
If you live near renters, eventually you will have horrible problems !
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Old 10-26-06, 06:33 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by timmhaan
that why i could never living in a damn suburb. it either has to be completely rural or in a city like where i live now. both of those offer to freedom from all that small talk garbage. i barely know my neighbors, and most of them i only know by sight, i have no idea what their names are.
Hah! I wouldn't live anywhere BUT a suburb. Shopping everywhere, without having to pay to park. Served with city water, sanitary sewer, natural gas, good sized, tree shaded lots with the crime riddled city minutes away in one direction, and the primitive country minutes away in the other.

In the 25 years I've lived in this suburb, I've had quite a few different neighbors. None too "friendly", and none too bad. Biggest complaint from me is barking dogs, and we have ordinances against that, so no biggie.

My wife's parents used to have neighbors like the OP, and my parent's neighbors were similar. It's just a different way of living, one that I thought disappeared in the '60's.
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Old 10-26-06, 07:36 PM   #14
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I wish I had good neighbors. I am surrounded by weekend vacation homes. I get to hear parties and crap all the time. I hate it.
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Old 10-26-06, 08:39 PM   #15
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My neighbors:

to one side: Indian (India Indian) family....they pretty much don't talk to anyone here....my "hello"s are usually met with a stare. Beats me why...I guess I look scary to them or something.

to the other side: early 30s guy, pretty nice...spends most of his time with his two kids or arguming with his ex. I'd offer him a beer sometime if he wasn't either occupied with the kids or arguing with his ex....both are bad times for alcohol consumption.

below me: BC....really this woman needs a serious adjustment....basically "Jerry Springer Live" lives downstairs of me.

at the corners below me (I'm on the top floor), 1) old man, married...pretty nice, but he gets in trouble all the time for being a massive flirt. His wife needs to realize he's too old to get it up.... 2) I have no clue, people keep moving in and out.....just like the apt where the indian family lives...5 people in the past year...
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Old 10-26-06, 08:55 PM   #16
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Ahhhhhhhh. Apartment life. It's been years but I'm still not ready to repeat that any time soon.
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Old 10-26-06, 09:15 PM   #17
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An eighty year old widow to our right. An eight year old widow behind our back fence. An eighty year old couple across the street. Whahoooo! Wild times!
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Old 10-26-06, 11:01 PM   #18
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My neighbors hate me because I blab so much. When they see me, they usually run.
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Old 10-26-06, 11:26 PM   #19
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i have redneck hunters on one side(they are nice, i can talk to them) and white trash people on the other side, who like to yell cuss and fight with each other outside so all the neiborhood can hear
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Old 10-27-06, 12:26 AM   #20
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I am, but not too friendly.

A couple houses are really cool. Their kids and themselves are really cool.

One house is really creepy. The guy records the license plate number of every car he sees and if one comes which he doesn't recognize, he calls the cops. He's called them on a few of my friends before.

Another neighbor has a dog who gets out all the time...I've turned cold to him.

There are a few houses who just have complete jerks living in them.
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Old 10-27-06, 07:20 AM   #21
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Friendly, but don't ever talk to eachother other than a "hello." I like 'em.
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Old 10-27-06, 07:24 AM   #22
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I am friendly, everytime someone new moves in, I do bake cookies and bring them over and welcome them. i always have done this but then that's all.. I will wave and if they need anything I will help but I also like my distance and privacy. we do have a great neighborhood where we plow each others driveway when we have a storm ect..
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Old 10-27-06, 08:29 AM   #23
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Yes we are friendly with our neighbors. Some of them are older and complain ALOT. But we just be our nice selves and say hi. The guy right across the hall from us talks to my bf alot. Nice guy, kinda strange to me (he seems not to ever be happy). One of our neighbors rides both road/mountain bikes so we see him alot and talk about trips and riding stuff.

I try to get along with everyone at our place cause if you do this then they will always look out for your stuff.
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Old 10-28-06, 07:24 AM   #24
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I try to get along with everyone at our place cause if you do this then they will always look out for your stuff.
+1
I am nice to my neighbors. It is easy when you have good neighbors! I've only had one neighbor who was annoying; they were filthy and smelled bad and would not take care of their property, but it wasn't like they had the cops over there every other weekend breaking up fights or anything...(it can always be worse )

I've lived in the same neighborhood for 16 years and consider most of my neighbors as friends and will help when a need arises just as I would for any friend. As to the OP's example of neighbors hanging out in each others houses all the time, that would be too much for me also. I prefer to visit across the back fence or sit out on the driveway and have a beer together. I spent alot of time at one neighbors house for a few years but that was because he was dying and needed help with yard work and stuff, and needed someone to talk to.

This thread reminds me of a line from the TV sitcom Becker: "That's why they are called APARTments - they are supposed to keep people apart!"

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Old 10-28-06, 07:28 AM   #25
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On one side I have long time neighbors I really like, except for years and years, they would knock on the door in the evening, a lot of times getting me up out of bed, and say "We are leaving tommorow morning for 2 weeks, can you take care of my dog?". Its too late to board the dog, so I felt obligated to say yes. The dogs they have had are desperatly loney, as they are away at work all the time, and wont leave me alone for a second. They dont listen to a word anyone says, so when im trying to go to work, im stuck yelling at the dog for a half hour to get in the house. THey also usually told me, "Oh, im out of dog food, you can just run to the store and get some more." They rarely left gas for the mower either. Im also very allergic to their dogs with very long hair. Finally I told her I quit, no more.

The other side our long time neighbors moved out, and some lady bought the house to rent out. We have had a lot of really annoying renters next door. One family had 2 young kids who thought my front yard was their playground. Rarely played in thier yard, only ours. They were always climbing our tree and standing on the porch. The little girl would stand on our porch chairs, and press her face againts the window and stare at us for long periods. She stopped that after my Dad screamed at her "GET OFF THE SCREEN!!!!". She was pushing her whole wieght into the screen, trying to see us better. The parents dont watch them very well.

There was also a family that moved in, and towed thier dead Porche when they came, and dumped it in the middle in the front of our house. We need to park 2 cars in front of house. We never got the street in front of our house plowed, because their car was there. They had no car in front of thier house, so they got thier part of the street plowed.

The worst one was 3 college students. They would sit in this sun room in the back, only 20 feet from my bedroom window, blasting music until the wee hours of the morning. They had parties all the time, and would be in that sun room or the backyard, running around drunk screaming and laughing. We ened up calling the police on them many times, and we never had call the police on neighbors. The lady who rented the house to them would basicly tell us "too bad". She wouldnt renew their lease after all the complaints though, and those guys then would prank phone call us.

The last couple renters have been great, thank goodness.

Its really fun watching the guy across the street trying to do major things, like take down a huge tree with only a small chainsaw and one friend helping. Better than any tv show.

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