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    *sigh*

    So my dad got a house contra costa county, and of course he wants my help fixing everything. He fronts me 200 dollars which I was very happy about(I'm in the market for an old fixerupper road bike that is in my size). On the car ride over he starts telling me about all the troubles he's had with the real estate agent, etc. He then calls her a cockroach. I ask him what's that supposed to mean, I said is it a racial slur? He's like yes- one against filipinos, he then goes on to tell me he think's 99.9% of filipinos are filthy idiots. I tell him that's not cool, and I begin to explain to him that personally I'm not proud to be a white person, and that I think white people generally in my experience are stuck up and rude. I also explain to him that when I was in middle school I was one of 3 white kids in an almost all filipino school, and that almost all my friends in middle school we're filipino. I guess I wasn't stern enough, because on the car ride back everytime a car cut in front of us on the freeway, he shouted "cockroach", and when we went across the bay bridge he wasn't happy the asian lady wasn't fast enough handing him his money and as he drives off he says cockroach again. Of course he's laughing, and thinks it's funny because it bothers me. ARg. I feel bad I'm related to such an insensitive, racist, ahole.

    For me it's like, if you think someone is an idiot. Call them an idiot. If you think they are dishonest, say they are dishonest. Why does race have to come into play? I just don't get it.
    Last edited by Pheard; 12-16-06 at 08:23 PM.

  2. #2
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    That's too bad Jon.

    Unfortunately, I think all of us have a racial bias to some extent, even though we don't want to admit it. For that matter I think we all have a gender and age bias as well. The best we can do is to recognize it in ourselves and and THINK before we act or speak. Its not always the "adults" or "elders" who set the best example. Try to be a good role model for him. Its too bad more people didn't think the way you do.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  3. #3
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pheard
    So my dad got a house in contra costa county, and of course he wants my help fixing everything. He fronts me 200 dollars which I was very happy about(I'm in the market for an old fixerupper road bike that is in my size). On the car ride over he starts telling me about all the troubles he's had with the real estate agent, etc. He then calls her a cockroach. I ask him what's that supposed to mean, I said is it a racial slur? He's like yes- one against filipinos, he then goes on to tell me he think's 99.9% of filipinos are filthy idiots. I tell him that's not cool, and I begin to explain to him that personally I'm not proud to be a white person, and that I think white people generally in my experience are stuck up and rude. I also explain to him that when I was in middle school I was one of 3 white kids in an almost all filipino school, and that almost all my friends in middle school we're filipino. I guess I wasn't stern enough, because on the car ride back everytime a car cut in front of us on the freeway, he shouted "cockroach", and when we went across the bay bridge he wasn't happy the asian lady wasn't fast enough handing him his money and as he drives off he says cockroach again. Of course he's laughing, and thinks it's funny because it bothers me. ARg. I feel bad I'm related to such an insensitive, racist, ahole.

    For me it's like, if you think someone is an idiot. Call them an idiot. If you think they are dishonest, say they are dishonest. Why does race have to come into play? I just don't get it.
    Often we are products of of upbringing. Best I can say is to be yourself, Jon. You aren't likely to change your dad, and frankly, in the long run, if you push too hard, it will affect your relationship with him adversely. You have a good head on your shoulders, laddie!

    In the long run, the only person his prejudices hurt is himself. I know you don't like hearing them, so just continue to remember that it's wrong for you! Just remember though that he is your dad, and the only dad ya got! The thing about family is that we can't chose who they are. We do have to love them, but we don't have to like every thing about them!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


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  4. #4
    It is what it is... Minesbroken's Avatar
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    sign here so we can do stuff to your stuff...

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    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    Hey Jon...wanna move to Maine?

    There's a crazy Canadian woman who lives near here, plus this:

    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

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    KombuchaCHIC Shadiyah's Avatar
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    That's too bad, Jon. Tom gave you great advice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe
    Often we are products of of upbringing. Best I can say is to be yourself, Jon. You aren't likely to change your dad, and frankly, in the long run, if you push too hard, it will affect your relationship with him adversely. You have a good head on your shoulders, laddie!

    In the long run, the only person his prejudices hurt is himself. I know you don't like hearing them, so just continue to remember that it's wrong for you! Just remember though that he is your dad, and the only dad ya got! The thing about family is that we can't chose who they are. We do have to love them, but we don't have to like every thing about them!
    Honestly, I'm nothing like my father. Don't really want to be. I'm not saying I don't love him. I just find it unfortunite that he's so hateful. That's his problem not mine, I just don't want to hear it.

  8. #8
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pheard
    Honestly, I'm nothing like my father. Don't really want to be. I'm not saying I don't love him. I just find it unfortunite that he's so hateful. That's his problem not mine, I just don't want to hear it.
    Basically, that's the point I was making! Believe me when I say I understand....my dad is a constant example to me, of what not to do! Like I said, you got a good head on your shoulders!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
    That's too bad Jon.

    Unfortunately, I think all of us have a racial bias to some extent, even though we don't want to admit it.
    I understand what you're saying. But let's just say hypothetically everyone has some kind of racial bias' floating around in their head. Does that mean everyone goes around slandering other races? Even if I did have something like that in my head, the only time I could possibly think of myself thinking like that is if I'm extremely angry with a person, I'm going to have self control, and keep it to myself. Then 10 minutes later, I don't have to feel bad for having said something, because I kept it to myself.

  10. #10
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pheard
    I understand what you're saying. But let's just say hypothetically everyone has some kind of racial bias' floating around in their head. Does that mean everyone goes around slandering other races? Even if I did have something like that in my head, the only time I could possibly think of myself thinking like that is if I'm extremely angry with a person, I'm going to have self control, and keep it to myself. Then 10 minutes later, I don't have to feel bad for having said something, because I kept it to myself.
    Actually, that's my point. I always try to treat everyone with respect regardless how I feel about them. One of the things I respect you for is your intelligence. I think you are a rare human...you actually think. Too many don't.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  11. #11
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe
    In the long run, the only person his prejudices hurt is himself.
    Sorry Tom, but that's wrong. His prejudices could easily cause a physical escalation causing both parties to be hurt. He could also choose to shop elsewhere making it economically more difficult for those people he's prejudiced against.

    Put it this way, if he called me a cockroach or some other racial slur, he'd be ****ting his own teeth. Sorry you got stuck w/ a racist father pheard. He may never change his mind about people, but he may find out that a lot of people react violently to racism.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



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    Just give up and become racist, it's much easier and you won't be lying to yourself..

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    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BostonFixed
    Just give up and become racist, it's much easier and you won't be lying to yourself..
    Not cool.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  14. #14
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
    Not cool.
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


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    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

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    Quote Originally Posted by BostonFixed
    Just give up and become racist, it's much easier and you won't be lying to yourself..
    Why be racist when we can all love eachother and have gigantic orgies that resemble a rainbow of ethnicities.

    Comon man, think about it.
    Last edited by Pheard; 12-16-06 at 08:48 PM.

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    J3L 2404 gbcb's Avatar
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    I don't know that I have much to add, but I'm not sure which I find more sad: that your dad is saying these racist things, or that he's deliberately saying them to you to make you feel uncomfortable. Sorry to hear about this, Jon.

  17. #17
    Just a student norsehabanero's Avatar
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    that is the difference between your nose and your relitives one you can pick

    that is a hard road to be on but you have broken the cycle so that is good(of not being like your dad)
    http://www.thebicyclingguitarist.net.../bios/bike.gif about to start winter quarter , enjoying school so far

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    No Rocket Surgeon eubi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gbcb
    I don't know that I have much to add, but I'm not sure which I find more sad: that your dad is saying these racist things, or that he's deliberately saying them to you to make you feel uncomfortable. Sorry to hear about this, Jon.
    My thoughts exactly.

    My dad tends to do the same thing...
    Fewer Cars, more handlebars!

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    old codger icithecat's Avatar
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    Does anyone remember the movie American Beauty? The one kids father was vocally anti gay every chance he got. He turned out to be in the closet.

    Is your father a little insecure about his ancestry?

    My mother told me ad nauseum that I was 13th generation out of Scotland. I always wondered why.

    I went to Scotland 3 years ago. It dawned on me that I was. A couple of generations in England, a couple in India, a couple in Africa and the rest rewhitening in Canada.

    To most, I look Caucasian, but stand me next to a Scots...........

    Didn't mean to offend anyone.

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    The quieter you become... Falkon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pheard
    So my dad got a house contra costa county, and of course he wants my help fixing everything. He fronts me 200 dollars which I was very happy about(I'm in the market for an old fixerupper road bike that is in my size). On the car ride over he starts telling me about all the troubles he's had with the real estate agent, etc. He then calls her a cockroach. I ask him what's that supposed to mean, I said is it a racial slur? He's like yes- one against filipinos, he then goes on to tell me he think's 99.9% of filipinos are filthy idiots. I tell him that's not cool, and I begin to explain to him that personally I'm not proud to be a white person, and that I think white people generally in my experience are stuck up and rude. I also explain to him that when I was in middle school I was one of 3 white kids in an almost all filipino school, and that almost all my friends in middle school we're filipino. I guess I wasn't stern enough, because on the car ride back everytime a car cut in front of us on the freeway, he shouted "cockroach", and when we went across the bay bridge he wasn't happy the asian lady wasn't fast enough handing him his money and as he drives off he says cockroach again. Of course he's laughing, and thinks it's funny because it bothers me. ARg. I feel bad I'm related to such an insensitive, racist, ahole.

    For me it's like, if you think someone is an idiot. Call them an idiot. If you think they are dishonest, say they are dishonest. Why does race have to come into play? I just don't get it.
    I don't know if it's worse that you're exposed to all these negative connotations of your culture or that you actually believe any of them. "White People" Seriously man, are you a glutton for pain or do you like looking down on yourself?
    Quote Originally Posted by TechKnowGN
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    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Jon, the best thing I see out of this is that he is showing you exactly what not to be.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  22. #22
    The quieter you become... Falkon's Avatar
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    and remember, it's all the white man's fault
    Quote Originally Posted by TechKnowGN
    San Jose has to be the most boring place I've ever been. And I live in Ohio.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Falkon
    I don't know if it's worse that you're exposed to all these negative connotations of your culture or that you actually believe any of them. "White People" Seriously man, are you a glutton for pain or do you like looking down on yourself?
    I was thinking someone might think I was talking down on myself for that "white people" comment. It actually was a retort I said to my dad when he made a comment about the fact the street he lives on isn't fully white. I don't think bad of myself, or white people. I was just saying in my experience, if anything the white people I've encountered in my life have been full of themselves. Does that make all white people bad people? no. That's my entire point, there are idiots, aholes, in every race.

  24. #24
    The quieter you become... Falkon's Avatar
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    guess it's just my thing. I don't really believe in "race" per se, rather cultures. Race seems to imply a much much larger separation than actually exists. I think people in general are full of themselves and are idiots.
    Quote Originally Posted by TechKnowGN
    San Jose has to be the most boring place I've ever been. And I live in Ohio.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind
    Jon, the best thing I see out of this is that he is showing you exactly what not to be.
    Good point

    I guess that's the only thing I'm getting out of this.

    Thanks people.

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