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Old 12-16-06, 08:43 PM   #1
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*sigh*

So my dad got a house contra costa county, and of course he wants my help fixing everything. He fronts me 200 dollars which I was very happy about(I'm in the market for an old fixerupper road bike that is in my size). On the car ride over he starts telling me about all the troubles he's had with the real estate agent, etc. He then calls her a cockroach. I ask him what's that supposed to mean, I said is it a racial slur? He's like yes- one against filipinos, he then goes on to tell me he think's 99.9% of filipinos are filthy idiots. I tell him that's not cool, and I begin to explain to him that personally I'm not proud to be a white person, and that I think white people generally in my experience are stuck up and rude. I also explain to him that when I was in middle school I was one of 3 white kids in an almost all filipino school, and that almost all my friends in middle school we're filipino. I guess I wasn't stern enough, because on the car ride back everytime a car cut in front of us on the freeway, he shouted "cockroach", and when we went across the bay bridge he wasn't happy the asian lady wasn't fast enough handing him his money and as he drives off he says cockroach again. Of course he's laughing, and thinks it's funny because it bothers me. ARg. I feel bad I'm related to such an insensitive, racist, ahole.

For me it's like, if you think someone is an idiot. Call them an idiot. If you think they are dishonest, say they are dishonest. Why does race have to come into play? I just don't get it.

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Old 12-16-06, 08:50 PM   #2
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That's too bad Jon.

Unfortunately, I think all of us have a racial bias to some extent, even though we don't want to admit it. For that matter I think we all have a gender and age bias as well. The best we can do is to recognize it in ourselves and and THINK before we act or speak. Its not always the "adults" or "elders" who set the best example. Try to be a good role model for him. Its too bad more people didn't think the way you do.
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Old 12-16-06, 08:55 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Pheard
So my dad got a house in contra costa county, and of course he wants my help fixing everything. He fronts me 200 dollars which I was very happy about(I'm in the market for an old fixerupper road bike that is in my size). On the car ride over he starts telling me about all the troubles he's had with the real estate agent, etc. He then calls her a cockroach. I ask him what's that supposed to mean, I said is it a racial slur? He's like yes- one against filipinos, he then goes on to tell me he think's 99.9% of filipinos are filthy idiots. I tell him that's not cool, and I begin to explain to him that personally I'm not proud to be a white person, and that I think white people generally in my experience are stuck up and rude. I also explain to him that when I was in middle school I was one of 3 white kids in an almost all filipino school, and that almost all my friends in middle school we're filipino. I guess I wasn't stern enough, because on the car ride back everytime a car cut in front of us on the freeway, he shouted "cockroach", and when we went across the bay bridge he wasn't happy the asian lady wasn't fast enough handing him his money and as he drives off he says cockroach again. Of course he's laughing, and thinks it's funny because it bothers me. ARg. I feel bad I'm related to such an insensitive, racist, ahole.

For me it's like, if you think someone is an idiot. Call them an idiot. If you think they are dishonest, say they are dishonest. Why does race have to come into play? I just don't get it.
Often we are products of of upbringing. Best I can say is to be yourself, Jon. You aren't likely to change your dad, and frankly, in the long run, if you push too hard, it will affect your relationship with him adversely. You have a good head on your shoulders, laddie!

In the long run, the only person his prejudices hurt is himself. I know you don't like hearing them, so just continue to remember that it's wrong for you! Just remember though that he is your dad, and the only dad ya got! The thing about family is that we can't chose who they are. We do have to love them, but we don't have to like every thing about them!
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Old 12-16-06, 08:58 PM   #4
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Old 12-16-06, 08:59 PM   #5
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Hey Jon...wanna move to Maine?

There's a crazy Canadian woman who lives near here, plus this:

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Old 12-16-06, 09:05 PM   #6
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That's too bad, Jon. Tom gave you great advice.
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Old 12-16-06, 09:07 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe
Often we are products of of upbringing. Best I can say is to be yourself, Jon. You aren't likely to change your dad, and frankly, in the long run, if you push too hard, it will affect your relationship with him adversely. You have a good head on your shoulders, laddie!

In the long run, the only person his prejudices hurt is himself. I know you don't like hearing them, so just continue to remember that it's wrong for you! Just remember though that he is your dad, and the only dad ya got! The thing about family is that we can't chose who they are. We do have to love them, but we don't have to like every thing about them!
Honestly, I'm nothing like my father. Don't really want to be. I'm not saying I don't love him. I just find it unfortunite that he's so hateful. That's his problem not mine, I just don't want to hear it.
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Old 12-16-06, 09:09 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Pheard
Honestly, I'm nothing like my father. Don't really want to be. I'm not saying I don't love him. I just find it unfortunite that he's so hateful. That's his problem not mine, I just don't want to hear it.
Basically, that's the point I was making! Believe me when I say I understand....my dad is a constant example to me, of what not to do! Like I said, you got a good head on your shoulders!
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Old 12-16-06, 09:19 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
That's too bad Jon.

Unfortunately, I think all of us have a racial bias to some extent, even though we don't want to admit it.
I understand what you're saying. But let's just say hypothetically everyone has some kind of racial bias' floating around in their head. Does that mean everyone goes around slandering other races? Even if I did have something like that in my head, the only time I could possibly think of myself thinking like that is if I'm extremely angry with a person, I'm going to have self control, and keep it to myself. Then 10 minutes later, I don't have to feel bad for having said something, because I kept it to myself.
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Old 12-16-06, 09:23 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Pheard
I understand what you're saying. But let's just say hypothetically everyone has some kind of racial bias' floating around in their head. Does that mean everyone goes around slandering other races? Even if I did have something like that in my head, the only time I could possibly think of myself thinking like that is if I'm extremely angry with a person, I'm going to have self control, and keep it to myself. Then 10 minutes later, I don't have to feel bad for having said something, because I kept it to myself.
Actually, that's my point. I always try to treat everyone with respect regardless how I feel about them. One of the things I respect you for is your intelligence. I think you are a rare human...you actually think. Too many don't.
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Old 12-16-06, 09:36 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe
In the long run, the only person his prejudices hurt is himself.
Sorry Tom, but that's wrong. His prejudices could easily cause a physical escalation causing both parties to be hurt. He could also choose to shop elsewhere making it economically more difficult for those people he's prejudiced against.

Put it this way, if he called me a cockroach or some other racial slur, he'd be ****ting his own teeth. Sorry you got stuck w/ a racist father pheard. He may never change his mind about people, but he may find out that a lot of people react violently to racism.
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Old 12-16-06, 09:41 PM   #12
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Just give up and become racist, it's much easier and you won't be lying to yourself..
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Old 12-16-06, 09:41 PM   #13
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Just give up and become racist, it's much easier and you won't be lying to yourself..
Not cool.
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Old 12-16-06, 09:42 PM   #14
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Not cool.
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Old 12-16-06, 09:43 PM   #15
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Just give up and become racist, it's much easier and you won't be lying to yourself..
Why be racist when we can all love eachother and have gigantic orgies that resemble a rainbow of ethnicities.

Comon man, think about it.

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Old 12-16-06, 10:39 PM   #16
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I don't know that I have much to add, but I'm not sure which I find more sad: that your dad is saying these racist things, or that he's deliberately saying them to you to make you feel uncomfortable. Sorry to hear about this, Jon.
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Old 12-16-06, 10:46 PM   #17
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that is the difference between your nose and your relitives one you can pick

that is a hard road to be on but you have broken the cycle so that is good(of not being like your dad)
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Old 12-16-06, 11:15 PM   #18
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I don't know that I have much to add, but I'm not sure which I find more sad: that your dad is saying these racist things, or that he's deliberately saying them to you to make you feel uncomfortable. Sorry to hear about this, Jon.
My thoughts exactly.

My dad tends to do the same thing...
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Old 12-16-06, 11:46 PM   #19
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Does anyone remember the movie American Beauty? The one kids father was vocally anti gay every chance he got. He turned out to be in the closet.

Is your father a little insecure about his ancestry?

My mother told me ad nauseum that I was 13th generation out of Scotland. I always wondered why.

I went to Scotland 3 years ago. It dawned on me that I was. A couple of generations in England, a couple in India, a couple in Africa and the rest rewhitening in Canada.

To most, I look Caucasian, but stand me next to a Scots...........

Didn't mean to offend anyone.
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Old 12-17-06, 12:23 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pheard
So my dad got a house contra costa county, and of course he wants my help fixing everything. He fronts me 200 dollars which I was very happy about(I'm in the market for an old fixerupper road bike that is in my size). On the car ride over he starts telling me about all the troubles he's had with the real estate agent, etc. He then calls her a cockroach. I ask him what's that supposed to mean, I said is it a racial slur? He's like yes- one against filipinos, he then goes on to tell me he think's 99.9% of filipinos are filthy idiots. I tell him that's not cool, and I begin to explain to him that personally I'm not proud to be a white person, and that I think white people generally in my experience are stuck up and rude. I also explain to him that when I was in middle school I was one of 3 white kids in an almost all filipino school, and that almost all my friends in middle school we're filipino. I guess I wasn't stern enough, because on the car ride back everytime a car cut in front of us on the freeway, he shouted "cockroach", and when we went across the bay bridge he wasn't happy the asian lady wasn't fast enough handing him his money and as he drives off he says cockroach again. Of course he's laughing, and thinks it's funny because it bothers me. ARg. I feel bad I'm related to such an insensitive, racist, ahole.

For me it's like, if you think someone is an idiot. Call them an idiot. If you think they are dishonest, say they are dishonest. Why does race have to come into play? I just don't get it.
I don't know if it's worse that you're exposed to all these negative connotations of your culture or that you actually believe any of them. "White People" Seriously man, are you a glutton for pain or do you like looking down on yourself?
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Old 12-17-06, 12:24 AM   #21
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Jon, the best thing I see out of this is that he is showing you exactly what not to be.
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Old 12-17-06, 12:25 AM   #22
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and remember, it's all the white man's fault
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Old 12-17-06, 12:28 AM   #23
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I don't know if it's worse that you're exposed to all these negative connotations of your culture or that you actually believe any of them. "White People" Seriously man, are you a glutton for pain or do you like looking down on yourself?
I was thinking someone might think I was talking down on myself for that "white people" comment. It actually was a retort I said to my dad when he made a comment about the fact the street he lives on isn't fully white. I don't think bad of myself, or white people. I was just saying in my experience, if anything the white people I've encountered in my life have been full of themselves. Does that make all white people bad people? no. That's my entire point, there are idiots, aholes, in every race.
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Old 12-17-06, 12:41 AM   #24
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guess it's just my thing. I don't really believe in "race" per se, rather cultures. Race seems to imply a much much larger separation than actually exists. I think people in general are full of themselves and are idiots.
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Old 12-17-06, 12:50 AM   #25
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Jon, the best thing I see out of this is that he is showing you exactly what not to be.
Good point

I guess that's the only thing I'm getting out of this.

Thanks people.
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