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  1. #1
    Banned.
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    Well I was drunk...

    the day my mom got out of prison
    and I went to pick her up in the rain
    but before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
    she got runned over by a damned old train

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Got all the right elements for a number one hit in Nashville!

  3. #3
    Banned.
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    that's right
    it's the perfect country western song... according to David Allan Coe

  4. #4
    So say we all.
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    Already is one. I'm from Mississippi originally and after being taken for an idiot for years I tried hard to get rid of my accent. But when somebody doubts I'm from Mississippi, I start singing this song, and they believe!

  5. #5
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    accents are what makes us colorful
    I lost my hillbilly accent many years ago but purposely let it come out now-a-days... sometimes I miss home (Kentucky)

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Saym heah, CEC. "Yew kin tayke th' kids outta th' country, butcha caint tayke th' country outta th' kids."

  7. #7
    eert a ekil yzarc SpiderMike's Avatar
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    Some think I'm joking that I am born and raised Texan. For others all it takes is the word y'all, and they know.

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I'll hang around as long as you will let me
    and I never minded standin in the rain
    you don't have to call me darlin'... darlin
    I wonder why you don't call me
    why don't you ever call me
    you never even call me by name
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    Are we having fun yet? Prosody's Avatar
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    You don't have to call me Waylon Jennings
    You don't have to call me Charlie Pride
    And you don't have to call me Merle Haggard
    Anymore
    But you never even call me by my name

    --The Late, Great Steve Goodman
    You're east of East St. Louis
    And the wind is making speeches.

  10. #10
    Señor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrosseyedCrickt
    that's right
    it's the perfect country western song... according to David Allan Coe
    Well Mr. Coe don't know his thumb from his bootlace.

    This is the perfect Country song:

    Wellll ahmm jest a caaawwwbooy
    looking' fer a deeeeeevorce,
    Mahh wumun sheeee leffft meeee
    she run of wif mah hooooorse.
    The search for inner peace continues...

  11. #11
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    **** Anita Bryant.
    Who the hell is she?
    Tellin' all those ******s
    that they can't be free.
    Throw that ***** in prison
    then maybe she'll see
    just how much them goddamned homosexuals mean to me

    Because they...
    Wash your clothes
    clean your cell
    help you drain your hose
    give you smokes
    laugh at jokes
    sew up all your clothes
    rub your feet
    beat your meat
    Heaven only knows
    What I'd do without those homosexuals

  12. #12
    Senior Member Mr. Gear Jammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrosseyedCrickt
    that's right
    it's the perfect country western song... according to David Allan Coe
    , well it sounded good.
    Tropical pole vaulting is the shiznit.

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by USAZorro
    Well Mr. Coe don't know his thumb from his bootlace.

    This is the perfect Country song:

    Wellll ahmm jest a caaawwwbooy
    looking' fer a deeeeeevorce,
    Mahh wumun sheeee leffft meeee
    she run of wif mah hooooorse.
    No, nooo. Gotta have a prison and a train. Go back to JohnnyCash 101.


  14. #14
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey
    **** Anita Bryant.
    Who the hell is she?
    Tellin' all those ******s
    that they can't be free.
    Throw that ***** in prison
    then maybe she'll see
    just how much them goddamned homosexuals mean to me

    Because they...
    Wash your clothes
    clean your cell
    help you drain your hose
    give you smokes
    laugh at jokes
    sew up all your clothes
    rub your feet
    beat your meat
    Heaven only knows
    What I'd do without those homosexuals
    Stacey, you didn't! Yes, you did! You go, girl!

    Here, have some orange juice, because a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine.

  15. #15
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    So please dont say manana if you dont mean it (dont mean it)
    I have done your lines for so very long
    Dont try to describe a Kiss concert if youve never seen it
    Dont ever forget that you just may wind up being gonged


    And I hope Anita Bryant never ever does one of my songs
    No no no
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  16. #16
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Drunk, Yoda is!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  17. #17
    Beauty Everywhere snowy's Avatar
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    Stupid me for opening this thread!!

    HEE HEE
    "RIDE FAST TAKE CHANCES!"

    Interested in the Women's Forum? Send me a PM for more information.

  18. #18
    Senior Member
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    Meh. Ya eithuh get it or ya dawnt. Right, fellers?

  19. #19
    Banned.
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrosseyedCrickt
    the day my mom got out of prison
    and I went to pick her up in the rain
    but before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
    she got runned over by a damned old train

    So. I was drunk when OJ was getting chased on the freeway, and I was drunk when he was acquitted, and most of the time in between. I'm thinkin' about turnin' that into a country song if i can find the right tune.

  20. #20
    Senior Member
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    Betcha could, Portis. Write a few lines, and let's tawk. King Termite writes lyrics. I sing. We could make some monay, baybuh.

  21. #21
    eert a ekil yzarc SpiderMike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr
    I'll haaaaaaaaaaaaaaang around as long as you will let me
    Let me, let me, let me
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr
    ...and I nnnneverrrrrrrrrrrrr minded standin in the raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain
    you don't have to call me darlin'... darlin
    I wonderrrrrrrr why you don't call me
    why don't you ever call me
    you never even call me by naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame
    corrected for the "Bar"eoke version.

  22. #22
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpiderMike
    Let me, let me, let me


    corrected for the "Bar"eoke version.
    Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks!
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  23. #23
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegaVixen
    Stacey, you didn't! Yes, you did! You go, girl!

    Here, have some orange juice, because a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine.
    Squeeze a fruit for Anita!


  24. #24
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey
    Squeeze a fruit for Anita!

    It's taken me a while to catch up on the threads.

  25. #25
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
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    So I have never drank and don't drink and this comes as a surprise to most people when they heard I was in the Navy.
    However, apparently i am what is called an emphatic drunk. My brothers get drunk and i get very very very very very hyper.
    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

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