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Old 01-22-07, 08:57 PM   #1
CrosseyedCrickt
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Well I was drunk...

the day my mom got out of prison
and I went to pick her up in the rain
but before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
she got runned over by a damned old train
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Old 01-22-07, 08:59 PM   #2
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Got all the right elements for a number one hit in Nashville!
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Old 01-22-07, 09:02 PM   #3
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that's right
it's the perfect country western song... according to David Allan Coe
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Old 01-22-07, 09:06 PM   #4
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Already is one. I'm from Mississippi originally and after being taken for an idiot for years I tried hard to get rid of my accent. But when somebody doubts I'm from Mississippi, I start singing this song, and they believe!
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Old 01-22-07, 09:09 PM   #5
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accents are what makes us colorful
I lost my hillbilly accent many years ago but purposely let it come out now-a-days... sometimes I miss home (Kentucky)
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Old 01-22-07, 09:19 PM   #6
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Saym heah, CEC. "Yew kin tayke th' kids outta th' country, butcha caint tayke th' country outta th' kids."
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Old 01-22-07, 09:20 PM   #7
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Some think I'm joking that I am born and raised Texan. For others all it takes is the word y'all, and they know.
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Old 01-22-07, 09:48 PM   #8
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I'll hang around as long as you will let me
and I never minded standin in the rain
you don't have to call me darlin'... darlin
I wonder why you don't call me
why don't you ever call me
you never even call me by name
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 01-22-07, 10:19 PM   #9
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You don't have to call me Waylon Jennings
You don't have to call me Charlie Pride
And you don't have to call me Merle Haggard
Anymore
But you never even call me by my name

--The Late, Great Steve Goodman
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Old 01-22-07, 10:28 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrosseyedCrickt
that's right
it's the perfect country western song... according to David Allan Coe
Well Mr. Coe don't know his thumb from his bootlace.

This is the perfect Country song:

Wellll ahmm jest a caaawwwbooy
looking' fer a deeeeeevorce,
Mahh wumun sheeee leffft meeee
she run of wif mah hooooorse.
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Old 01-23-07, 04:40 AM   #11
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**** Anita Bryant.
Who the hell is she?
Tellin' all those ******s
that they can't be free.
Throw that ***** in prison
then maybe she'll see
just how much them goddamned homosexuals mean to me

Because they...
Wash your clothes
clean your cell
help you drain your hose
give you smokes
laugh at jokes
sew up all your clothes
rub your feet
beat your meat
Heaven only knows
What I'd do without those homosexuals
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Old 01-23-07, 05:10 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrosseyedCrickt
that's right
it's the perfect country western song... according to David Allan Coe
, well it sounded good.
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Old 01-23-07, 05:23 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USAZorro
Well Mr. Coe don't know his thumb from his bootlace.

This is the perfect Country song:

Wellll ahmm jest a caaawwwbooy
looking' fer a deeeeeevorce,
Mahh wumun sheeee leffft meeee
she run of wif mah hooooorse.
No, nooo. Gotta have a prison and a train. Go back to JohnnyCash 101.

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Old 01-23-07, 05:26 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacey
**** Anita Bryant.
Who the hell is she?
Tellin' all those ******s
that they can't be free.
Throw that ***** in prison
then maybe she'll see
just how much them goddamned homosexuals mean to me

Because they...
Wash your clothes
clean your cell
help you drain your hose
give you smokes
laugh at jokes
sew up all your clothes
rub your feet
beat your meat
Heaven only knows
What I'd do without those homosexuals
Stacey, you didn't! Yes, you did! You go, girl!

Here, have some orange juice, because a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine.
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Old 01-23-07, 08:19 PM   #15
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So please dont say manana if you dont mean it (dont mean it)
I have done your lines for so very long
Dont try to describe a Kiss concert if youve never seen it
Dont ever forget that you just may wind up being gonged


And I hope Anita Bryant never ever does one of my songs
No no no
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 01-23-07, 08:27 PM   #16
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Drunk, Yoda is!
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Old 01-23-07, 09:12 PM   #17
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Stupid me for opening this thread!!

HEE HEE
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Old 01-23-07, 09:37 PM   #18
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Meh. Ya eithuh get it or ya dawnt. Right, fellers?
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Old 01-23-07, 09:42 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrosseyedCrickt
the day my mom got out of prison
and I went to pick her up in the rain
but before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
she got runned over by a damned old train

So. I was drunk when OJ was getting chased on the freeway, and I was drunk when he was acquitted, and most of the time in between. I'm thinkin' about turnin' that into a country song if i can find the right tune.
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Old 01-23-07, 09:49 PM   #20
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Betcha could, Portis. Write a few lines, and let's tawk. King Termite writes lyrics. I sing. We could make some monay, baybuh.
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Old 01-24-07, 09:14 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr
I'll haaaaaaaaaaaaaaang around as long as you will let me
Let me, let me, let me
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr
...and I nnnneverrrrrrrrrrrrr minded standin in the raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain
you don't have to call me darlin'... darlin
I wonderrrrrrrr why you don't call me
why don't you ever call me
you never even call me by naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame
corrected for the "Bar"eoke version.
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Old 01-24-07, 09:22 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiderMike
Let me, let me, let me


corrected for the "Bar"eoke version.
Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 01-24-07, 09:37 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VegaVixen
Stacey, you didn't! Yes, you did! You go, girl!

Here, have some orange juice, because a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine.
Squeeze a fruit for Anita!

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Old 01-25-07, 11:42 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacey
Squeeze a fruit for Anita!

It's taken me a while to catch up on the threads.
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Old 01-25-07, 11:44 PM   #25
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So I have never drank and don't drink and this comes as a surprise to most people when they heard I was in the Navy.
However, apparently i am what is called an emphatic drunk. My brothers get drunk and i get very very very very very hyper.
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