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  1. #1
    Retro-nerd georgiaboy's Avatar
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    Is the term "Dear" romantic?

    Here's the scoop. Where I work at a health coach/consultant visits every week as a service of our insurance benefit. Well this particular coach is an attractive 28 year old woman who married about 8 months ago to an older man with two children. So, I have these short meetings with her of about 20 to 30 min weekly each for 6 months now. (She only meets with my boss for 10 min tops.) We have nice chemistry and our conversations come easy. I have her business email address and she gave me her cellphone number in case I have any "questions." For the last two weeks now I have noticed she has been calling me "Dear." Is the simply an expression of intimate friendship or are things getting romantic?

    I am not a homewrecker.
    Last edited by georgiaboy; 02-11-07 at 12:20 PM.
    Would you like a dream with that?

  2. #2
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
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    No, I don't consider it romantic. Not unless she is in her 80's.

    Although, if its romantic to her, it could be a sign, but I personally wouldn't take it as a romantic gesture.

  3. #3
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Runnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run For The Hilllllllllls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Deer are for huntin'!!! Runnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  4. #4
    Retro-nerd georgiaboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Song of Serenity
    Runnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run For The Hilllllllllls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Deer are for huntin'!!! Runnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I thought about "runnin'" as you say. But I found myself calling her to ask how "runnin" would affect my overall health.

    Guess I am hooked.
    Would you like a dream with that?

  5. #5
    explody pup
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    Show her your ding dong. It's the only way to know for sure.

  6. #6
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    Yeah, the peen is like a Dowser's stick. You'll know where she stands after that...
    Masochism is a training adaptation.

  7. #7
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I bet she drools and asks if she can have a bit.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  8. #8
    explody pup
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    Deep fry it, first. She won't be able to resist.

  9. #9
    Retro-nerd georgiaboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Deep fry it, first. She won't be able to resist.
    Do you recommend any particular oil for deep-fried ding dongs?
    Would you like a dream with that?

  10. #10
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    ky
    Masochism is a training adaptation.

  11. #11
    Senior Member
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    GB, depending on what part of the country you're in, "dear" and "hon" are not uncommon non-romantic terms. And even if she didn't say "dear" at first, it may have only been because she hadn't developed a friendship with you yet in the professional environment. She is married. Just because she's friendly and you're attracted doesn't mean it's mutual. If you're willin' to have an affair with a married woman with (step)kids, however, just ask her if she's interested. Best case, you'll become the mistress of a love triangle with two kids caught in the crossfire. Worst case, she'll start spending less time with you than with the boss.

    Being in the engineering field, I've been sometimes the only woman in a whole office of guys, from grad school to the workworld to the field. I've learned to appreciate, sophomoric though it is, the male sense of humor, and count a number of men among my closest friends. However, I've lost a number of otherwise enjoyable male friends 'cause the guys mistook a fun and easy-going friendship for sexual interest, came on to me, couldn't handle the gentle rejection, and bailed.

    Sometimes women just enjoy male friendship. And sometimes that includes pickin' on and teasin' each other a bit.

    Jes' sayin'.

  12. #12
    Retro-nerd georgiaboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegaVixen
    GB, depending on what part of the country you're in, "dear" and "hon" are not uncommon non-romantic terms. And even if she didn't say "dear" at first, it may have only been because she hadn't developed a friendship with you yet in the professional environment. She is married. Just because she's friendly and you're attracted doesn't mean it's mutual. If you're willin' to have an affair with a married woman with (step)kids, however, just ask her if she's interested. Best case, you'll become the mistress of a love triangle with two kids caught in the crossfire. Worst case, she'll start spending less time with you than with the boss.

    Being in the engineering field, I've been sometimes the only woman in a whole office of guys, from grad school to the workworld to the field. I've learned to appreciate, sophomoric though it is, the male sense of humor, and count a number of men among my closest friends. However, I've lost a number of otherwise enjoyable male friends 'cause the guys mistook a fun and easy-going friendship for sexual interest, came on to me, couldn't handle the gentle rejection, and bailed.

    Sometimes women just enjoy male friendship. And sometimes that includes pickin' on and teasin' each other a bit.

    Jes' sayin'.
    Thanks, VV. That was the answer I was looking for i.e. a woman's perspective on the use of the word "Dear." I am not interested in having an affair. Kind of like building a house on loose ground with a poor foundation. I have someone I am interested in, anyway. I guess I did not understand the part of the sudden use of the word "Dear", and you did a great job in explaining it to me. I really don't think she is looking outside her marriage. It was just my confusion regarding this kind of attention.
    Would you like a dream with that?

  13. #13
    riding once again jschen's Avatar
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    As you've probably figured out, it depends on context.
    If you notice this notice then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by georgiaboy
    Thanks, VV. That was the answer I was looking for i.e. a woman's perspective on the use of the word "Dear." I am not interested in having an affair. Kind of like building a house on loose ground with a poor foundation. I have someone I am interested in, anyway. I guess I did not understand the part of the sudden use of the word "Dear", and you did a great job in explaining it to me. I really don't think she is looking outside her marriage. It was just my confusion regarding this kind of attention.
    <shrug> She may be looking. I really don't know. My instinct says no, and so I'm just tryin' to offer an alternative explanation of the use of the term. It's really not uncommon 'round here, though, as I said, it doesn't get thrown out in a professional environment so much unless the people to whom it's directed have some kind of established relationship (i.e. friendship) with the one using it. But maybe you're somewhere where it's not so commonly used? Don't know, "baybuh."

    Take note, guys. To further confuse your understanding of women, sometimes we really are just laughing at your jokes. Period.

  15. #15
    riding once again jschen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegaVixen
    Take note, guys. To further confuse your understanding of women...
    Umm... wouldn't that require us to have some understanding (however confused) in the first place?
    If you notice this notice then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

  16. #16
    Retro-nerd georgiaboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegaVixen
    <shrug> She may be looking. I really don't know. My instinct says no, and so I'm just tryin' to offer an alternative explanation of the use of the term. It's really not uncommon 'round here, though, as I said, it doesn't get thrown out in a professional environment so much unless the people to whom it's directed have some kind of established relationship (i.e. friendship) with the one using it. But maybe you're somewhere where it's not so commonly used? Don't know, "baybuh."

    Take note, guys. To further confuse your understanding of women, sometimes we really are just laughing at your jokes. Period.
    I am in Atlanta, and have been called Dear before. If someone called me dear from the gitgo that tells me it's their expression as part of their vocabulary. To the contrary, when someone does not use it then start to use it could it be motivated by something other than vocabulary? I am getting long winded here and out on a tangent. It's tough hacking your way through the jungle of emotion. Guess, I just have the song "Is it just my imagination, runnin away with me?" stewin' in my head.
    Last edited by georgiaboy; 02-11-07 at 02:12 PM.
    Would you like a dream with that?

  17. #17
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    no, Id never call someone dear out of being romantic.. oh dear is used in phrases like these.

    You didnt help clean up? ohhhh dear

    you think I didnt do enough? well, we need to chat, my dear..

    or worst it can be used like this..

    My dear so and so, Im writting to you because well, I really cant stand you so I couldnt bother telling you face to face..

    on the other hand if she calls you sexy things or sweetie or handsome or big guy, than you got a chance.

  18. #18
    riding once again jschen's Avatar
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    Unlike BDG, when romantically involved with someone, "dear" or "dearest" is one of my favorite terms of endearment. I tend to avoid any sarcastic use of that term when dating someone. With other people, it depends. Last time I hung out with a girl all day, I think I used it both romantically and sarcastically in the same day.
    If you notice this notice then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

  19. #19
    Retro-nerd georgiaboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jschen
    Unlike BDG, when romantically involved with someone, "dear" or "dearest" is one of my favorite terms of endearment. I tend to avoid any sarcastic use of that term when dating someone. With other people, it depends. Last time I hung out with a girl all day, I think I used it both romantically and sarcastically in the same day.
    I am dating a girl from New York and she calls me "Dearheart." I have never been called that before I met her.

    Could it be this.
    Would you like a dream with that?

  20. #20
    Super Moderator Allen's Avatar
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    Remember you are in Georgia.
    In the southern female vernacular Dear, Honey, Sweetheart, and all sorts of other endearments are synonymous with dude.
    Quote Originally Posted by unterhausen
    I believe that in this case "solid meh" means "so 'meh' that it could never be anything more than 'meh', and yet also no less than 'meh' -- in a word, exactly 'meh'"

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllenG
    Remember you are in Georgia.
    In the southern female vernacular Dear, Honey, Sweetheart, and all sorts of other endearments are synonymous with dude.
    Yeah, like the way suth'un guys call women "darlin'".

  22. #22
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegaVixen
    GB, depending on what part of the country you're in, "dear" and "hon" are not uncommon non-romantic terms. And even if she didn't say "dear" at first, it may have only been because she hadn't developed a friendship with you yet in the professional environment. She is married. Just because she's friendly and you're attracted doesn't mean it's mutual. If you're willin' to have an affair with a married woman with (step)kids, however, just ask her if she's interested. Best case, you'll become the mistress of a love triangle with two kids caught in the crossfire. Worst case, she'll start spending less time with you than with the boss.

    Being in the engineering field, I've been sometimes the only woman in a whole office of guys, from grad school to the workworld to the field. I've learned to appreciate, sophomoric though it is, the male sense of humor, and count a number of men among my closest friends. However, I've lost a number of otherwise enjoyable male friends 'cause the guys mistook a fun and easy-going friendship for sexual interest, came on to me, couldn't handle the gentle rejection, and bailed.

    Sometimes women just enjoy male friendship. And sometimes that includes pickin' on and teasin' each other a bit.

    Jes' sayin'.
    Hi VegaVixen. I also work in an engineering field and I've been called 'Dear' by a few different women at work. However I find it at times a bit creepy and inappropriate. It can also be used as a condescending term or can be easily mis-interpretted as such. Other guys at my workplace agree. I'm sure it's not usually meant this way, however I prefer not being called dear (except by my wife).

  23. #23
    Super Moderator Allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VegaVixen
    Yeah, like the way suth'un guys call women "darlin'".
    That thar is exactly what I'm talking about sweet-ums.
    Quote Originally Posted by unterhausen
    I believe that in this case "solid meh" means "so 'meh' that it could never be anything more than 'meh', and yet also no less than 'meh' -- in a word, exactly 'meh'"

  24. #24
    Senior Member DannoXYZ's Avatar
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    "dear" is fine. I call all chics "sweetie", saves me the trouble of remembering their names and using the wrong ones inappropriately...

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by jschen
    Unlike BDG, when romantically involved with someone, "dear" or "dearest" is one of my favorite terms of endearment. I tend to avoid any sarcastic use of that term when dating someone. With other people, it depends. Last time I hung out with a girl all day, I think I used it both romantically and sarcastically in the same day.
    I like to be called dear when used like this..
    my dear sweetie
    my dear sweet baby
    or the best my dear princess

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