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View Poll Results: When would you break it off?
After a phone call 1 4.00%
After an email 1 4.00%
After a lunch date 4 16.00%
After a night out 4 16.00%
After a "one night stand" 5 20.00%
After you find incriminating evidance 10 40.00%
Voters: 25. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-13-07, 11:39 PM   #1
Imachad
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How much cheating would you tolerate?

How much cheating would it take for you to break it off with your significant other/wife.

I myself have a zero tolerance policy that would probably include breaking it off even if she decided to have lunch with an ex (not husband). I feel if that it even goes that far, it is way to much.

How much would it take for you? a phone call? an email?

I think love doesn't invlove past mingling.
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Old 02-13-07, 11:45 PM   #2
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My zero tolerance policy relates only to intimate contact of a sexual nature. Once trust is compromised you just can't get it back. Having a bite to eat with an ex would raise my antennae though! Phone calls or e-mails of a sexually intimate nature might also cause me to be greatly upset.
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Old 02-13-07, 11:50 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imachad
How much cheating would it take for you to break it off with your significant other/wife.

I myself have a zero tolerance policy that would probably include breaking it off even if she decided to have lunch with an ex (not husband). I feel if that it even goes that far, it is way to much.

How much would it take for you? a phone call? an email?

I think love doesn't invlove past mingling.
You try and control who your SO sees? It seems to me that you have some serious control/trust issues. When you are in a relationship you don't own that person, they still are themselves, with their own lives. What else wouldn't you let your SO do?
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Old 02-13-07, 11:55 PM   #4
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Do you monitor all of your SO's e-mails??
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Old 02-13-07, 11:55 PM   #5
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ziemas, when it comes to my wife I would be a little put out if she were hanging with an old flame at a bar. I can't control who my wife sees but I can control whether I file for divorce or not. I would not stay and be played the fool.

I have never been alone with another woman other than my wife since I got married. What is good for the Gander should be good for the goose especially when vows were exchanged! I'm old fashioned that way!

Personally,I don't monitor my wife's e-mail, phone calls, or any other communications. The minute the trust is gone is the minute I am gone!

I have seen too many incidents in the last ten years, Geez, I am getting jaded!
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Old 02-14-07, 12:06 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by PATH
ziemas, when it comes to my wife I would be a little put out if she were hanging with an old flame at a bar. I can't control who my wife sees but I can control whether I file for divorce or not. I would not stay and be played the fool.

I have never been alone with another woman other than my wife since I got married. What is good for the Gander should be good for the goose especially when vows were exchanged! I'm old fashioned that way!

Personally,I don't monitor my wife's e-mail, phone calls, or any other communications. The minute the trust is gone is the minute I am gone!

I have seen too many incidents in the last ten years, Geez, I am getting jaded!
Sounds to me like you don't trust your wife. How sad.
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Old 02-14-07, 12:27 AM   #7
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ziemas, I trust my wife with my life. If I did not trust my wife I would not have been married all these years. I suppose the same could be said for her. We trust each other.

Only my paycheck and the inability to ride as much as I want make me sad!
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Old 02-14-07, 12:48 AM   #8
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ziemas, I trust my wife with my life. If I did not trust my wife I would not have been married all these years. I suppose the same could be said for her. We trust each other.

Only my paycheck and the inability to ride as much as I want make me sad!
If you trust her then why would you divorce her if she met with an old boyfriend? If you truly trust her you know that the old BF is no threat to your relationship. No one can make her leave you if she doesn't already want to go.
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Old 02-14-07, 01:00 AM   #9
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"My zero tolerance policy relates only to intimate contact of a sexual nature."(See my first Post in this thread).

I don't mind my wife seeing anybody for lunch but we don't have that kind of relationship. we agreed long ago not to do this sortof thing.

By the way, I saw a picture of her old boyfriend. Not that I am the greatest but believe me when I tell you that she traded up!
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Old 02-14-07, 01:31 AM   #10
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For me, cheating is socializing with a member of the opposite sex with the intent of becoming intimate. You can't control who your SO socializes with. If you try they'll can you for being a control freak (if they have any sense). You can control your own responses and voice any concerns you have that may arise. If you freak out over your SO having lunch with someone, it sounds like you may have some insecurity issues.
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Old 02-14-07, 04:50 AM   #11
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That's just it... It's alll in the ground rules. Which hopefully you set early on in the relationship.

Some relationships are very open with regards to 3rd parties, otheres are fairly restrictive. If all parties in the relationship are on the same page for the ground rules, and stay there... all is good. It's when you make revisions, and neglect to send a memo that things get dicey.
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Old 02-14-07, 06:05 AM   #12
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No...you don't break it off....you use that as guilt points to get the menagatrois you want (with YOUR ex).
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Old 02-14-07, 06:12 AM   #13
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Depends....is the guy on her "List"? Cause if it is say Brad Pitt, I can't really do anything. Because he is on her list of people. <shrug>
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Old 02-14-07, 06:29 AM   #14
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If you're well met & matched with your SO, you should trust her. If you don't trust her, why are you still hangin out with her?

My husband & I have met each other's ex-SOs, and most of them are our friends... I suppose we share the same "taste" in people!
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Old 02-14-07, 06:39 AM   #15
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none... zero mf'in tolerance.

I'd wait for incriminating evidence though.
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Old 02-14-07, 07:20 AM   #16
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So long as nothing sexual is involved...but I expect her to be open with me that she went out with an ex for example.

I'm a believer in a fully open relationship...communitcation is a must, and hiding stuff like that is to me a reason for alarm.

There is a difference between trust and just being oblivious to what's going on. Trust is knowing she will do the right thing.....being oblivious is knowing she's not, but denying the truth so you can feel like the trusting person. I would have serious questions if I found out a woman I was dating was going out with her old flame for a while and I was never told.

It's the not telling me part I have an issue with....only reason to withold that is an ulterior motive IMO.
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Old 02-14-07, 07:34 AM   #17
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My SO and I are still good friends with our ex's, we have dinner and go out with them (sometimes together, sometimes by ourselves). Recently my ex stayed the night at our house while my SO was on a busness trip. We've been together 17 years and if we don't trust and respect each other by now I don't think we'd have lasted as long as we have.
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Old 02-14-07, 07:36 AM   #18
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That is just soooo cool!
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Old 02-14-07, 07:48 AM   #19
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Hmmmmm, interesting thread. Giving this one serious thought before jumping in. So many interesting and intriguing situations coming to mind

Just remember, it's only kinky the first time.
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Old 02-14-07, 07:51 AM   #20
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Or untill someone get's hurt... Then it becomes unlawful
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Old 02-14-07, 08:01 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PATH

I have never been alone with another woman other than my wife since I got married. What is good for the Gander should be good for the goose especially when vows were exchanged! I'm old fashioned that way!

NEVER, NEVER alone with another woman! Am I to beleive that when you get married you are to cut all contact with any female friends that you have ever had. I have been married almost 25 years and there have always been female friends I have hung around with without my wife being present. Dude, you need to get a grip.

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Old 02-14-07, 08:25 AM   #22
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Anything intimate with someone else is totally unacceptable to me, no point in being in the relationship.

I could tolerate a lunch, phone calls, etc with other guys, I don't control my women, but I wouldn't like it. Thats where the trust comes in...
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Old 02-14-07, 08:43 AM   #23
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DM4. lighten up dude!

No, I have never been alone with a woman other than my wife in all the years I have been married other than female relatives. I am not preaching here. Folks live as they choose. I have lots of female friends. I just have never been alone with any.

I don't go into another man's house when he is not there. It is old fashioned but that is the way I choose to live. May your reality be just as pleasant!
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Old 02-14-07, 08:46 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imachad
How much cheating would it take for you to break it off with your significant other/wife.

I myself have a zero tolerance policy that would probably include breaking it off even if she decided to have lunch with an ex (not husband). I feel if that it even goes that far, it is way to much.

How much would it take for you? a phone call? an email?

I think love doesn't invlove past mingling.
Cheating to me is getting intimate with someone else. This could be physical or emotional. Going to lunch or talking with someone else isn't cheating. If someone is sneaking behind your back to do this then it's probably because they are hiding something.
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Old 02-14-07, 09:03 AM   #25
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We were playing Scrabble. She accidentally spilled some coffee in her lap and instinctively jumped out of her seat spilling the half dozen letters she had hidden in the folds of her skirt. One look in my eyes and she knew the wedding was off. I never saw her again.
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