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Old 02-14-07, 12:46 PM   #1
SingingSabre 
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Another Valentine for hire!

I'm for sale today!

Benefits:
I can (usually) spell very, very well.
Have had certain...skills (including cooking) praised publicly.
Cook very well, at least for my taste (Do you like salmon? I'll rock your socks off. Proverbially, of course.)
Cook wild salmon.
Neckrubs and footrubs by a professional.
Serenades come easily.
Enjoy all kinds of food, so whatever you want to share with me, you can!
Moonlit hikes in the nicest trails.
I'll eat...fire...for you! Heck, I'll teach you if you want!

I come with a money-back guarantee that you will have fun and feel good!
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Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
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Old 02-14-07, 12:47 PM   #2
free_pizza
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you better make it very clear if you are a dude or a chick pretty quick or else you might be getting some unwanted attention.
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Old 02-14-07, 12:47 PM   #3
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Got change for a ten.... cent piece?
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Old 02-14-07, 12:50 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lancerob
You're a dude. Antics like this only work if you are an attractive woman with questionable morals.
But he's not fussy.
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Old 02-14-07, 12:56 PM   #5
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Bet you never had rattie kisses, you feel diferently if you've had

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7M1o0Kl7PNU
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Old 02-14-07, 01:33 PM   #6
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Hey! This was MY idea.


Sexy wimmins look here: Who needs a Valentine? Sexy wimmins only.
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Old 02-14-07, 01:35 PM   #7
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Maybe you guys can be each other's Valentines!

Be sure to put candy hearts in the envelopes.
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Old 02-14-07, 02:37 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Shadiyah
Maybe you guys can be each other's Valentines!
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Old 02-14-07, 04:54 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lancerob
You're a dude. Antics like this only work if you are an attractive woman with questionable morals.
Let me grab my wig...

And rattie kisses are good by me!

Stacey, for a ten center, I have a nickle and four pennies.
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Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
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Old 02-14-07, 05:13 PM   #10
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Hey Waaiiiiiiiiiit a minute. You said you'd do that for me for free!! Oh that's messed up
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 02-14-07, 05:30 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SingingSabre
I'm for sale today!

Benefits:
I can (usually) spell very, very well.
Have had certain...skills (including cooking) praised publicly.
Cook very well, at least for my taste (Do you like salmon? I'll rock your socks off. Proverbially, of course.)
Cook wild salmon.
Neckrubs and footrubs by a professional.
Serenades come easily.
Enjoy all kinds of food, so whatever you want to share with me, you can!
Moonlit hikes in the nicest trails.
I'll eat...fire...for you! Heck, I'll teach you if you want!

I come with a money-back guarantee that you will have fun and feel good!

Good deal, but i am not interested .
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Old 02-14-07, 07:22 PM   #12
Stacey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SingingSabre
Let me grab my wig...

And rattie kisses are good by me!

Stacey, for a ten center, I have a nickle and four pennies.
Dood, you drive a hard bargian, but what the hell
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Old 02-14-07, 07:40 PM   #13
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Hot freaky sex, here! Got some hot freaky sex for sale! Half-priced for tonight only! Hot freaky sex!
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Old 02-14-07, 07:53 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by explody pup
Hot freaky sex, here! Got some hot freaky sex for sale! Half-priced for tonight only! Hot freaky sex!
Who did you steal it from and where did you stash the body?
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 02-14-07, 07:57 PM   #15
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Danno. Boiler room.
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Old 02-15-07, 12:33 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SingingSabre
I'm for sale today!

Benefits:
I can (usually) spell very, very well.
Have had certain...skills (including cooking) praised publicly.
Cook very well, at least for my taste (Do you like salmon? I'll rock your socks off. Proverbially, of course.)
Cook wild salmon.
Neckrubs and footrubs by a professional.
Serenades come easily.
Enjoy all kinds of food, so whatever you want to share with me, you can!
Moonlit hikes in the nicest trails.
I'll eat...fire...for you! Heck, I'll teach you if you want!

I come with a money-back guarantee that you will have fun and feel good!
You do not list the price, good sir.
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Old 02-15-07, 06:13 AM   #17
Siu Blue Wind
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Maybe it's negotiable.
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Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 02-15-07, 06:30 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by donnamb
You do not list the price, good sir.
Dear lady, please see post #11.
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Old 02-15-07, 08:36 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind
Maybe it's negotiable.
I have a...sliding scale...
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Originally Posted by Bklyn
Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
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Old 02-15-07, 09:36 AM   #20
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I have a...sliding scale...
How compassionate of you.
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Old 02-16-07, 02:23 AM   #21
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Quote:
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How compassionate of you.
What? You don't want to slide on my scale?
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Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
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Old 02-16-07, 02:29 AM   #22
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I'll take you on big boy.
I'm not gay, but i'mm willing to compromise for you.
you know what they say, once you go "fat" you never go back.
And I put the "Clyde" in clydesdale!!!

Now come here and give me that foot rub!! My corns are killing me.
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