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  1. #1
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    To be six again...

    A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she' d like to have for her Birthday.

    "I'd like to be six again", she replied, still looking in the mirror.

    On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags Theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster...everything there was.

    Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

    He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

    Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, And her favorite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear, what was it like being six again??

    Her eyes slowly opened and her expression Suddenly changed.

    I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass!!

    The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  2. #2
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Men. They just don't know.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  3. #3
    more ape than man timmhaan's Avatar
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    women: they just don't tell you.

  4. #4
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I see her mouth moving but all I hear is blah blah blah blah blah!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  5. #5
    explody pup
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    Moral of the moral, if you're going to get it wrong anyway, then there's no point in listening to begin with. Have a beer.

  6. #6
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Moral of the moral, if you're going to get it wrong anyway, then there's no point in listening to begin with. Have a beer.
    you left off "at Hooters"
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  7. #7
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    No Sex since 1957



    A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted
    by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely
    young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached
    the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you
    seem to be a very serious
    man. Is something bothering you?"
    "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

    "The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said,
    "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
    "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

    The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You
    know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The
    Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

    Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the
    wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
    "1957, ma'am."
    "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking
    everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1957!
    She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to
    "relax" him several times.

    Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and
    said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1957!"
    The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact
    voice,
    "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  8. #8
    explody pup
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr
    you left off "at Hooters"
    I didn't want to be too restrictive. Some people prefer the strip club.

  9. #9
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Another Moral Story
    My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
    decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It
    was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was
    twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless.

    One day 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the
    wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to
    me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
    She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
    married and committed my life to her sister.

    Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said,"I'm going
    upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling,just come up
    and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up
    the stairs.

    When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down
    the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a
    beeline straight to the front door.

    I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my
    entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

    With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We
    are very happy that you have passed our little test... We couldn't ask
    for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."



    And the moral of this story is:




    Always keep your condoms in your car...
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  10. #10
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  11. #11
    Hazardous Taerom's Avatar
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    ^ Those are some talented smiley faces, rolling around on top of each other like that.

  12. #12
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    I have talent.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  13. #13
    Banned.
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    This guy sort of sounds like a pedophile. I'd be concerned.

  14. #14
    Warrior Cyclist cycle17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr
    Another Moral Story
    My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
    decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It
    was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was
    twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless.

    One day 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the
    wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to
    me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
    She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
    married and committed my life to her sister.

    Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said,"I'm going
    upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling,just come up
    and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up
    the stairs.

    When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down
    the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a
    beeline straight to the front door.

    I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my
    entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

    With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We
    are very happy that you have passed our little test... We couldn't ask
    for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."



    And the moral of this story is:




    Always keep your condoms in your car...
    You know...I was thinking that you were heading to the car for condoms in the story and low and behold...I was right!!
    Just Do It..

  15. #15
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cycle17
    You know...I was thinking that you were heading to the car for condoms in the story and low and behold...I was right!!
    it is a joke, it is not me, really, it aint, i promise
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

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