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Old 03-22-07, 12:49 AM   #1
Pheard
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Distance from friends.

Just something that's been in my mind lately. Friends all going off, like people I've known since I was a kid. Going off doing their thing. It's buggin' me out. Just wondering how people dealt with that? I mean, did it bother you alot? do you still have contact with your friends? How did you handle it?
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Old 03-22-07, 12:51 AM   #2
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My best friend lives in Boston. I live in San Diego. It sure would be nice to hang out with him more often, but we manage.
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Old 03-22-07, 01:08 AM   #3
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Whoa Lauren, That was supposed to be in the mixte thread. Oh what the heck. We can blend it right?
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Old 03-22-07, 01:09 AM   #4
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No friend I currently have has been in my life for more than 3 years.
It comes with getting older and moving around alot.
Likewise, I have not kept up with any friend from my younger days except 2, and have not spoken to either of them in at least 5 years.

the rest are either dead or in prison.
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Old 03-22-07, 01:09 AM   #5
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Hi All-

Things happens with age such as job responsibilities, kids, and a variety of other things that place a premium on precious time. If it's a beautiful Sunday afternoon is one going to telephone an old friend to chat about "the old college days" or are they going to pedal the roadbike for fifty miles with other friends who share the same interests? The folks with whom we ride might not be the same ones with whom we have a beer on Friday nights...even though one likes them both.

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Old 03-22-07, 01:18 AM   #6
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I live on the opposite side of the world from most of my friends, but even they are not all in one place. I'm a terrible correspondent, which makes it hard to keep in touch -- but email, Skype, and now Facebook have been really helpful.
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Old 03-22-07, 03:22 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pheard
Just something that's been in my mind lately. Friends all going off, like people I've known since I was a kid. Going off doing their thing. It's buggin' me out. Just wondering how people dealt with that? I mean, did it bother you alot? do you still have contact with your friends? How did you handle it?
it's called life.
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Old 03-22-07, 03:43 AM   #8
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Freinds? What is that of which you speak?
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Old 03-22-07, 03:58 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pheard
Just something that's been in my mind lately. Friends all going off, like people I've known since I was a kid. Going off doing their thing. It's buggin' me out. Just wondering how people dealt with that? I mean, did it bother you alot? do you still have contact with your friends? How did you handle it?
The 10 or so people I consider my friends (outside of BF) are scattered across 4 countries on both sides of the pond.

Some people get around a lot more than others. If you're going to move forward in life and you're not going to stay in the same place the whole time, you have to embrace it. It's difficult sometime but focus on the benefits.

Plus, this is the 21st century after all - you're never *that* far from your friends.

I get the feeling you're youngish and still adjusting to this. You'll be fine. Go forth and expand your horizons.
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Old 03-22-07, 06:04 AM   #10
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My best friend is currently on the other coast....he may be moving out here though, since he can transfer and keep his current wages.

Bonus, we get to split rent on an apartment again....no longer having to spend around $900/mo in bills/rent is a good thing.
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Old 03-22-07, 08:02 AM   #11
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I'm moving from RI to Denver in a few weeks, leaving behind my best friends, some I've know for well over twenty years. I'll come back to visit from time to time, and they'll come out to visit me I'm sure.
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Old 03-22-07, 08:06 AM   #12
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It's a little deluding to find out that the old "Best Friends FOR-EVAR!!" junk you hear as a youth kind of fades out to "Whatever happened to good ol' what's-his/her-name?" as time glides by. But living life tends to do that. As botto said, it's just life.

College friends are all over, but many of them gravitated up to Chicago area, so see them with some frequency. Others are just a road trip or plane flight away. Great excuse to travel and stay for free.

High school friends are scattered everywhere.

And we have several neighbors on our street who have gotten to be good friends. It's great for the kids to walk next door or just across the street to play whenever. And it's good to chill out in the backyard or driveway with a few cold ones while the kids play.

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Old 03-22-07, 08:46 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pheard
Just something that's been in my mind lately. Friends all going off, like people I've known since I was a kid. Going off doing their thing. It's buggin' me out. Just wondering how people dealt with that? I mean, did it bother you alot? do you still have contact with your friends? How did you handle it?
yeah it does at first but then you'll come to the realise it's part of life.My best freind and I are always at different stage, i had my kids young she was free and I couldnt go out with her anymore, now she has two small kids and mine are teanagers, so now she's tight up. But somehow you remain friends, you just get used to the gap life creates.
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Old 03-22-07, 09:00 AM   #14
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write 'em off. people change.
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Old 03-22-07, 09:01 AM   #15
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One of my friends moved from Miami to Charlotte but luckily we both communicate via emails and through this forum.
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Old 03-22-07, 09:05 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by bigskymacadam
write 'em off. people change.
nah. don't write 'em off totally.

Just make sure you attend the 10 year reunion, no matter how lame it might sound. There will be the kids that never left town, still stuck in local mode. There will be the cool/pretty ones who have pudged out as athletics no longer dominate their lives. There will be the quiet kids who blossom into confident, attractive adults. And then there will be you, however you have lived life.

Even with the internet, you will find that certain folks will fade from contact, while there will be those who do stay in contact. It's about effort. And that effort is up to you, ultimately.
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Old 03-22-07, 09:23 AM   #17
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One of my best friends and I went to school until 5th grade when we were separated by him being held back in that grade. That was 10 years ago, and it made no difference, we never lost contact.
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Old 03-22-07, 09:32 AM   #18
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There's a group of friends in Dallas whom I see multiple times a year, IM with, email, phone calls, etc. They're worth it, and I to them. There are also people whom I've met I lost contact with the second I got on the airplane. It happens. The people closest to you will stay that way if you put in the effort. It's easy to let connections slip; it takes work from everyone involved.

Hey efrobert, there are a lot of BFers (and friendly people in general) in Denver, we'll welcome you with open arms!
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Old 03-22-07, 09:35 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by -VELOCITY-
One of my friends moved from Miami to Charlotte but luckily we both communicate via emails and through this forum.
Though sometimes we have been know to derail threads.............
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Old 03-22-07, 09:51 AM   #20
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Though sometimes we have been know to derail threads.............
When? I am a very by the books kind of guy. No shenanigans here my friend.
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Old 03-22-07, 10:07 AM   #21
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When? I am a very by the books kind of guy. No shenanigans here my friend.
Now try saying that with a straight face.
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Old 03-22-07, 10:20 AM   #22
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well, most of my good friends from high school live here in chicago but I do live far from some of my best friends. For example: one of my best girlfriends is down at U of I - Urbana so she rarely comes up to Chicago. She also has an apt down there so she lives there over summer. At times, it's hard but we make time for each other when she does come home. I also have one of my very good friends moving even farther from me from Minnesota to California. It's going to be rough for we talk almost every night or every other night so, now when he moves to California I'm not going to be able to talk to him as often due to the hour difference. I do plan on visiting him though in the near future.

So, the only advice I can give you is a) try to spend as much time with your friends before they move for when they move you might not have that chance to see them as often if they lived nearby, b) keep in touch with them and, c) that's life. Human's move to broaden their social ties. It might be a little difficult to break those physical ties that you have with your close friends but if you just maintain some sort of contact with them nothing will be able to come between you and you friends. It's going to be hard at first to grasp the idea that "hey, my (best) friend isn't a 10 min ride away but instead like 10 hours or more away" for it was with me. Just be patient. Also, it's a two way street so, hopefully your friends feel the same way you do.
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Old 03-22-07, 10:33 AM   #23
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as carol king said, " So far Away." Americans move once every seven years? Life is cruel. Or is a solution, Boston's "Don't look Back." But, mobility is now the only way to economically survive. I think its a part of the reason Americans are so foot loose.
Only remedy, reunions are sweet. so you can keep up with all those left behind. At least we have email.

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Old 03-22-07, 10:47 AM   #24
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A close friend and riding partner of mine recently moved to Vancouver. I'm looking at the positive side of it, when I do go visit, the mountain biking will be awesome.
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Old 03-22-07, 10:48 AM   #25
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My friend lives roughly 1000 ft away from me
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