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Old 03-22-07, 06:00 PM   #1
mezza
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Girlfriend and riding...

My Girl and I had a huge arguement this morning.

It got to the stage where she said she gets pissed off and upset because I ride to work sometimes... If I didn't I could spend more time with her (an extra 15 minutes)... WTF?

Anway. I rode to work and called her. She was still pissed off. The arguement continued and escalated further. She told me I was insensitive, I told her she needed to repect the fact that I ride bikes - Its part of me. Escalated further, I told her i didn't want her at home when I get there. She said she'd already started packing........

So, my girlfriend might very well be leaving me because she resents that I ride bikes..........

I'm 60% an emotional wreck and can't do any work. I'm 40% relieved that I may not have to put up with that **** any longer... In fact, I'm surprised at how calm I am. We've been talking having kids (I already have two from a previous relationship) and buying a house... It was/is pretty serious and aside from some **** sometimes its a pretty good relationship. Oh, and she's super hot, but I'm trying not to let that sway me.

Sorry to vent on bike furums but I know you guys will understand what I'm going through being fellow riders and all. And no, she doesn't ride, but knew I was a rider when we got together.

Cheers

John
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Old 03-22-07, 06:04 PM   #2
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Look on the brightside: you avoided the jinormous clusterfück of her not saying anything about it until after you got married. Also, if you just wanna have a hot woman, the occasional prostitute is MUCH MUCH less expensive no matter how much the hourly rate. I've never even met a prostitute, btw... I'm just sayin'.

--Steve
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Old 03-22-07, 06:07 PM   #3
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i would guess theres something else going on shes not telling you...
and rather than disclose it, shes going to demonstrate animosity towards something you love, which resolves nothing.

just a hunch.
good luck.
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Old 03-22-07, 06:08 PM   #4
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Sounds like she'd rather have a beer guzzling, cigarette smoking, pick-up driving couch potato than someone with a healthy lifestyle. Ugh, what do women want?
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Old 03-22-07, 06:16 PM   #5
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Hmmm. After being in my share of relationships with hot women who seemed to go off on the most absurd things, I can relate. You'd think she'd be happy to be with a man who kept up a healthy lifestyle. Sounds like she's trying to establish dominance if she has a problem with you bike riding of all things. Sheesh. One thing I've learned over the years is to be honest with yourself and your partner about who you are - if the person you're dating has a problem with that, well, tough sh*t. I'd rather be single and happy than miserable and with a hotty any day of the week.

Last edited by jstraw97; 03-22-07 at 06:22 PM.
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Old 03-22-07, 06:19 PM   #6
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Get out now, it can only get worse...
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Old 03-22-07, 06:19 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mezza
My Girl and I had a huge arguement this morning.

It got to the stage where she said she gets pissed off and upset because I ride to work sometimes... If I didn't I could spend more time with her (an extra 15 minutes)... WTF?

Anway. I rode to work and called her. She was still pissed off. The arguement continued and escalated further. She told me I was insensitive, I told her she needed to repect the fact that I ride bikes - Its part of me. Escalated further, I told her i didn't want her at home when I get there. She said she'd already started packing........

So, my girlfriend might very well be leaving me because she resents that I ride bikes..........

I'm 60% an emotional wreck and can't do any work. I'm 40% relieved that I may not have to put up with that **** any longer... In fact, I'm surprised at how calm I am. We've been talking having kids (I already have two from a previous relationship) and buying a house... It was/is pretty serious and aside from some **** sometimes its a pretty good relationship. Oh, and she's super hot, but I'm trying not to let that sway me.

Sorry to vent on bike furums but I know you guys will understand what I'm going through being fellow riders and all. And no, she doesn't ride, but knew I was a rider when we got together.

Cheers

John
Sounds like there are other problems in the relationship?

My girlfriend of 3.5yrs was the same for awhile (maybe still is?), but instead of arguing she would just get mad and stop talking to me which is just as frustrating. She's getting the idea that it's not going to change, but I try to do more to support her and her hobbies so that she will do the same for mine.

Sounds like saying you didn't want her there when you got home is the wrong thing to do. Talk it through and see what the REAL problem is, and fix it.

Good luck and keep us updated :/
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Old 03-22-07, 06:22 PM   #8
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Haha I actually just had this exact same fight with my girlfriend two days ago. I even got the "you love your bike more then you love me." I only get to see her usually when I come home from college fri, sat, and sunday. I told her I wanted to fit in a ride before I left town to come home. And she replied that if I'm not at her house by the time she gets out of school she's dumping me. Now I know she'd never dump me but she'd probably not talk to me for the rest of the day.

She apologized yesterday and said I could have some extra time if I needed it. I don't know if this is a trick or not but I'm not going to risk it and I'll be there when I was told to

Hope everything turns out ok man.


Kyle
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Old 03-22-07, 06:23 PM   #9
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Use her (as an accessory) to find your next hot girl and DUMP HER
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Old 03-22-07, 06:23 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mezza
...In fact, I'm surprised at how calm I am.
No kidding dude...
You're on your way to bachelorhood. It will only get better from here.
Seems that you have already contributed to the continuation of our species...Move on!

How old are you,if you don't mind?
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Old 03-22-07, 06:28 PM   #11
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Aren't you glad you found this out before marriage?
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Old 03-22-07, 06:28 PM   #12
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it's not about the bike, it's about control and lack of respect for you and the fact that you dare put something before her.
Loving someone is letting them grow and give them support for the passion they choose.
You are better off, her being so attractive will waer out soon enough specially when you end up losing who you are and what made you happy.
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Old 03-22-07, 06:29 PM   #13
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My buddy just lauched his woman Monday. Must be in the air.
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Old 03-22-07, 06:31 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heathermarie
i would guess theres something else going on shes not telling you...
and rather than disclose it, shes going to demonstrate animosity towards something you love, which resolves nothing.

just a hunch.
good luck.
+1... when someone argues something trivial (15 min commute by bike? most people drive 30 min to work at least)... then you know there's something else that's causing it.

Sincerly,
Dr. Phil
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Old 03-22-07, 06:32 PM   #15
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We're not all batsh-t crazy, I swear!
I agree it sounds like something else is bothering her, and she's using this as an excuse. If you really think she's worth it, try to find out what the real problem is. If not, good ridddance!
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Old 03-22-07, 06:33 PM   #16
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You didn't listen to what she said. She didn't mean she resents you riding and being healthy but that she wants some quality time to spend with you. The bike was just there at a time when she felt needy. There are five ways that people feel loved (The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman) it sounds like her language is Quality Time. It doesn't matter when you give it to her just make sure that your constantly doing it.

Now, go make up with her and move to different apartments. Don't have kids or buy a house until you have been through pre-marital counselling and get married!
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Old 03-22-07, 06:42 PM   #17
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^^^^

The worst touchy feely relationship advice EVER. As Lance said, it ain't about the bike. OP needs to move on.
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Old 03-22-07, 06:43 PM   #18
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^^^^

The worst touchy feely relationship advice EVER. As Lance said, it ain't about the bike. OP needs to move on.
I said it's aint about the bike!!!!! who's Lance?
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Old 03-22-07, 06:43 PM   #19
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This should help



You gots to keep your pimp hand strong, bro


No one tell my wife about this thread, please
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Old 03-22-07, 06:45 PM   #20
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A few things:
- All the places I know that have 15 min car/bike split commute are a faster bike ride than car ride
- Your obviously missing a bigger picture - nobody puts a bike in the middle of a relationship
- Your a moron if you broke up with a girl over biking, you just committed to point 2.
- I can't believe the internet is your perfered choice for relationship help - especially bikeforums.net. If I've learned ANYTHING from these forums, its that none of the people here know squat about relationships, never mind girls.

It's probably because 90% of the unmarried people on this site have only been kissed by the opposit gender when some poor schlock (be it male or female) "lost" spin the bottle.
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Old 03-22-07, 07:01 PM   #21
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Years ago, when my wife and I were dating, she used to give me huge rations of sh*t for riding so much. I told her that I rode before she was here, and I'll ride when she was gone. Never been an issue since...
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Old 03-22-07, 07:03 PM   #22
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I said it's aint about the bike!!!!! who's Lance?

she knows...she is one of them
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Old 03-22-07, 07:05 PM   #23
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Dude, 2 kids already and you want more with this woman? Jeeze, thank goodness this came to light before it cost you thousands for a divorce. Stay close to the kids you made, keep your pecker in the holster, and find a babe at a bike club ride. Hotness is about number 26 on a quality scale. Shift into the big ring and leave this relationship behind.
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Old 03-22-07, 07:09 PM   #24
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you know all im going to add is that when relationships break up, if you felt they were the "one" you wouldnt feel relieve to see them go.
I think you'll be fine
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Old 03-22-07, 07:17 PM   #25
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Shift into the big ring and leave this relationship behind.
Corniest bicycle metaphor I've read all month.
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