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Old 03-22-07, 09:03 PM   #1
sizzam
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16 things it takes most of us 50 years to learn

Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 years to learn:



1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.



2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.



3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.



4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.



5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.



6. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."



7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.



8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."



9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.



10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.



11. You should not confuse your career with your life.



12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.



13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.



14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.



15. Your true friends love you, anyway.



16. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.


http://www.scribd.com/doc/3716/ebook...years-to-learn
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Old 03-22-07, 09:06 PM   #2
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errr, title is supposed to say '16'
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Old 03-22-07, 10:18 PM   #3
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Great list. I had a few thoughts as I read it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sizzam
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
Counterexample: The Green Berets

Quote:
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
but I can give a lot of reasons why we shouldn't...

Quote:
5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.
That makes me feel a little better about completely forgetting every single one of my family member's birthdays for the last 3 years (I did remember my mom's this year, though).

Quote:
6. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
It's kind of fun to see what these people put together though (*cough phantomcow*)

Quote:
10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.
You forgot the tacky tie.

Quote:
12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.
That's one a lot of people, quite sadly, never learn. MTV and the other reality TV purveyors certainly don't help.

Quote:
13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
Holy crap is that true. Today I ran into somebody ranting about how hexadecimal color codes were racist because black is 000000 and white is ffffff.

Quote:
16. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
It's not worth it if somebody gets hurt. I'll stick to the snack table, thanks.
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Old 03-23-07, 03:42 AM   #4
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Whats wrong w/daylight savings? (or am I taking it too seriously )
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Old 03-23-07, 06:34 AM   #5
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I'm just going to add one - Youth IS wasted on the young.
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Old 03-23-07, 06:35 AM   #6
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Number 12 is one I learn't along time ago, it still holds valid today.
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Old 03-23-07, 06:50 AM   #7
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More people need to learn number 12.

I can think of a number of people many of my friends have been willing to write off as nice just because they were nice to my friends, but not other people. Grr!
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Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
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Old 03-23-07, 06:50 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iamlucky13


Counterexample: The Green Berets
worst. movie. ever.
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Old 03-23-07, 07:50 AM   #9
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"learn't"???
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Old 03-23-07, 07:58 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sizzam

9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.


http://www.scribd.com/doc/3716/ebook...years-to-learn
I would like to add to that " The only People protesters get riled up about there cause are other protesters"
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Old 03-23-07, 08:16 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sizzam
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
exception. black hawk down.
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Old 03-23-07, 10:05 AM   #12
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Old 03-23-07, 10:09 AM   #13
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You can also add, "49 years old is actually young."
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Old 03-23-07, 10:14 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apclassic9
I'm just going to add one - Youth IS wasted on the young.
No, TEETH are wasted on the young.

Youth is just a temporary hormonal imbalance.
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Old 03-23-07, 10:16 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by botto
worst. movie. ever.
Correct.
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Old 03-23-07, 10:21 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sizzam
errr, title is supposed to say '16'
Fixed your title
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Old 03-23-07, 10:25 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sizzam
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
Obviously, so we can ride bikes longer.
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Old 03-23-07, 10:32 AM   #18
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I love these! Especially the helicopters in movies one... SO TRUE! My roommate and I were just talking about this the other day! lol!
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Old 03-23-07, 10:36 AM   #19
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Quote:
blue thunder
wrong
Quote:
black hawk down
wrong.

The correct exception that proves the rule is: Apocolypse Now

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Old 03-23-07, 11:14 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
Fixed your title
Thanks Snowy
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Old 03-23-07, 12:09 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Velo Vol
Obviously, so we can ride bikes longer.
Bingo.

Nice list - once it gets to #3.
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Old 03-23-07, 12:18 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sizzam
3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
I was in Toys R Us yesterday buying my grandson a first birthday present. I was speaking with a young lady who is expecting her first child in a couple of months. A rather matronly lady came up to her and exclaimed, "Girl, you look like you ready to pop. When you due?"

Pregnant lady grits her teeth and, having a little fun at matronly lady's expense, growled, "I'm not pregnant."

Without a blink matronly lady responds, "Then girl, you need to be thinkin' about havin' a salad for dinner tonight."
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Old 03-23-07, 12:39 PM   #23
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The Whirlybirds
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Old 03-23-07, 12:50 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Olebiker
I was in Toys R Us yesterday buying my grandson a first birthday present. I was speaking with a young lady who is expecting her first child in a couple of months. A rather matronly lady came up to her and exclaimed, "Girl, you look like you ready to pop. When you due?"

Pregnant lady grits her teeth and, having a little fun at matronly lady's expense, growled, "I'm not pregnant."

Without a blink matronly lady responds, "Then girl, you need to be thinkin' about havin' a salad for dinner tonight."
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Old 03-24-07, 12:32 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by botto
worst. movie. ever.
Bah! Communist!

Come on though...just because Ebert doesn't like it is no reflection on the quality of the movie.
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