This got started in an on topic thread, so I moved it here to avoid getting the useful thread getting the boot. Let's see, we had...
Why are a viola player's fingers like lightning?
Because they never strike in the same place twice!
What's the difference between a cello and a double bass?
A double bass burns longer!
And I'll add...
How many 2nd violinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they can't reach that high!