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  1. #1
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Your most inappropriate episode of flatulence? When, where, and how bad was it?

    In my case, it was in a presentation, and the microphone picked it up. Ironically, it was during a presentation to a psych combined class symposium on dealing with anxiety and embarrassment displayed by the client!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  2. #2
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    It was a little embarassing after a colonoscopy...I just woke up and the nurse was tending to me, and BRAAAAP. Oops...excuse me.

    It wasn't until later that I found out that they actually inflate the colon before the actual procedure, so it WASN'T my fault.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  3. #3
    Prefers Aluminum Sprocket Man's Avatar
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    In college, I was on a date with a girl from my class. It was our first date. We were having a nice conversation in the car, then the urge hit me. I did my best to hold it in, even to the point that I started to perspire. She noticed I was perspiring and I wasn't saying much so she asked if I was OK. I told her I was fine. A few seconds later *BRRRRAAAAAP*. She started to laugh! I told her, "I'm sorry, I tried everything I could to keep from doing that." She told me not to worry about it, and she told me hers were loud too. She was right!

  4. #4
    Senior Member FlyingAnchor's Avatar
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    I was teaching a class of junior high students and one ripped out, they shrieked and ran and it ruined the class.
    Steven

  5. #5
    Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
    It was a little embarassing after a colonoscopy...I just woke up and the nurse was tending to me, and BRAAAAP. Oops...excuse me.

    It wasn't until later that I found out that they actually inflate the colon before the actual procedure, so it WASN'T my fault.

    I have had quite a few colonoscopies. Each time I come out of it the tending nurse says, "wfin, I am not letting you out until you pass gas. She is hot so I say, "I am not going to do it until you go over there". But until you have had a colonoscopy, you have no clue about how much gas you can pass! You can watch your stomach actually deflate as the seconds go by just-a-rippin' em!

  6. #6
    the actual el guapo atomship47's Avatar
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    during anal sex
    Compatibility:

    Your exact opposite is the Televangelist.

    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Smartass, and the Sociopath.

  7. #7
    Senior Member DannoXYZ's Avatar
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    When I was freshman in high-school. Went out with my physics class partner, she was a senior at the time. She was smokin' hot and looked like Meg Ryan with long hair. Came back to her place afterwards and was making out in her parents' bed (they were away on vacation). She slithered down on me in a 69-position. About 30-seconds into it, I just couldn't hold back anymore and let a magnitude-8.2 on the Richter scale rip. I could tell it was a good one due to seeing her hair blowing upwards...

  8. #8
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
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    I get the urge to do it occasionally during a massage after lunch.

    I stash cotton pads with aromatic oils in the hot towel cabby just in case...they make the room smell so nice (lavendar with eucalyptis is a very good relaxant!) Luckily, most of my clients end up falling asleep!

    That said, it usually only happens once a week or so...silent ones.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bklyn
    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    I busted some serious ass at a concert once, and I'm sure it was loud, very loud, but the concert was much louder and nobody heard it. Seeing the physical reactions to the smell, now that was funny.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


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  10. #10
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DannoXYZ
    When I was freshman in high-school. Went out with my physics class partner, she was a senior at the time. She was smokin' hot and looked like Meg Ryan with long hair. Came back to her place afterwards and was making out in her parents' bed (they were away on vacation). She slithered down on me in a 69-position. About 30-seconds into it, I just couldn't hold back anymore and let a magnitude-8.2 on the Richter scale rip. I could tell it was a good one due to seeing her hair blowing upwards...
    Masochism is a training adaptation.

  11. #11
    Infamous Member chipcom's Avatar
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    No way I can tell the story without getting banned. Think of the worst possible moment you could let one rip as a young lad, alone, with a girl....yep I dooded it.
    "Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey

  12. #12
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chipcom
    No way I can tell the story without getting banned. Think of the worst possible moment you could let one rip as a young lad, alone, with a girl....yep I dooded it.
    I think Danno just beat you to the punch - although I think his was inspired by a twist of Larry the cable guy's version .
    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

  13. #13
    Senior Member edp773's Avatar
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    I was shopping at a grocery store and the urge came on suddenly. I was frantic as I could not hold it any longer and ran into the nearest empty aisle. Just as I let go a nice looking lady pushed her cart into the same aisle. As she rounded the corner the essence reached her nose. Her expression changed quickly and I got a real nasty look as she fled the aisle.
    Born Again Bicyclist! I found my Faith.

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  14. #14
    8th at Bar H
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    So i was sitting in this wendy's... ya lets not get into that one. At the deer lease me and my buddy were having fart wars and about round three i shat myself... not good.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
    OK, how do you describe a vacuum cleaner that doesn't work? It doesn't work, so it doesn't suck, but its suppose to suck, so by not sucking, it sucks, but it doesn't, but, but...

  15. #15
    But on the road more MTBLover's Avatar
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    An SBD in a choral concert. None of my fellow singers could handle this one- I'm sure everyone in the audience was wondering WTF when they saw our faces all scrunched up in repressed laughter (or pain). Moral: No black bean soup before singing.

  16. #16
    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
    It was a little embarassing after a colonoscopy...I just woke up and the nurse was tending to me, and BRAAAAP. Oops...excuse me.

    It wasn't until later that I found out that they actually inflate the colon before the actual procedure, so it WASN'T my fault.
    Pretty much my story, but with lapraoscopic surgery. They pump your abdomen full of CO2 - naturally you're going to have gas you can't control. Lasted about a week for me. I had plenty of embarassing moments that week.
    "Real wars of words are harder to win. They require thought, insight, precision, articulation, knowledge, and experience. They require the humility to admit when you are wrong. They recognize that the dialectic is not about making us look at you, but about us all looking together for the truth."

  17. #17
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by donnamb
    Pretty much my story, but with lapraoscopic surgery. They pump your abdomen full of CO2 - naturally you're going to have gas you can't control. Lasted about a week for me. I had plenty of embarassing moments that week.
    Boy, do I ever remember that when I had my laporocscopic surgery! I let one that had to have lasted a full 90 seconds of continuous braaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  18. #18
    Videre non videri
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    I've pretty much mastered the art of silent farts. Still working on making them odourless...

  19. #19
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Not me, but my brother...when he was about 10 he was playing Atari (yes, thaaaat long ago) in the living room while my mom and I were in kitchen about 20 feet away.

    While sitting on floor with contoller and playing the game, he starts one. It goes so long that my mom and I start hysterically laughing. It still just keeps continuing. After about 15-20 seconds I look at the second hand on the clock.

    In the end, he let one long continuous loud fart that lasted about 1 minute and 15 seconds.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  20. #20
    Videre non videri
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite
    Not me, but my brother...when he was about 10 he was playing Atari (yes, thaaaat long ago) in the living room while my mom and I were in kitchen about 20 feet away.

    While sitting on floor with contoller and playing the game, he starts one. It goes so long that my mom and I start hysterically laughing. It still just keeps continuing. After about 15-20 seconds I look at the second hand on the clock.

    In the end, he let one long continuous loud fart that lasted about 1 minute and 15 seconds.
    I take it you were fed a steady diet of pea soup and beans!

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite
    Not me, but my brother...when he was about 10 he was playing Atari (yes, thaaaat long ago) in the living room while my mom and I were in kitchen about 20 feet away.

    While sitting on floor with contoller and playing the game, he starts one. It goes so long that my mom and I start hysterically laughing. It still just keeps continuing. After about 15-20 seconds I look at the second hand on the clock.

    In the end, he let one long continuous loud fart that lasted about 1 minute and 15 seconds.
    My first thought when reading that, was "GET A LIGHTER, NOW."

  22. #22
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Mine was the day after surgery in Montreal. The nurse who only really spoke French with just a smattering of English came in and asked If I wanted a back rub. Being one who has been known to comit criminal acts in order to get a back rub, heartily accepted.

    She had been plying her craft for about a minute or so when all of the sudden this welling of gas escapes and I had no warning or control. I embarassedly appologized freverently. Giggling she said, No worry, no worry, it okay. Happen every time.

    Gods bless this poor woman, she never missed a beat and just kept rubbing as I kept tootin'. When she was done she said, Good, now maybe you go tomorrow.

  23. #23
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    I was meeting the parents of this girl I was dating....at the dinner table I couldn't help it....I let one out that made the dog run out of the room
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  24. #24
    Leaving Clydehood cydisc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chipcom
    No way I can tell the story without getting banned. Think of the worst possible moment you could let one rip as a young lad, alone, with a girl....yep I dooded it.
    A guy I knew had the same experience w/ a girl he met in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. Both wasted. A little bit of standard pre-coitus activity. Boom-boom. Then she wretched in his shoes.
    Standard disclaimer applies. Your mileage may vary.

    2005 Schwinn Fastback (fast commuter)
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  25. #25
    fishologist cohophysh's Avatar
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    this is to funny
    We cannot solve problems with the same level of consciousness that created them. A.E.

    1990 Diamond Back MTB
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