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Old 03-27-07, 06:17 PM   #1
Tom Stormcrowe
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Your most inappropriate episode of flatulence? When, where, and how bad was it?

In my case, it was in a presentation, and the microphone picked it up. Ironically, it was during a presentation to a psych combined class symposium on dealing with anxiety and embarrassment displayed by the client!
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Old 03-27-07, 06:21 PM   #2
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It was a little embarassing after a colonoscopy...I just woke up and the nurse was tending to me, and BRAAAAP. Oops...excuse me.

It wasn't until later that I found out that they actually inflate the colon before the actual procedure, so it WASN'T my fault.
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Old 03-27-07, 06:30 PM   #3
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In college, I was on a date with a girl from my class. It was our first date. We were having a nice conversation in the car, then the urge hit me. I did my best to hold it in, even to the point that I started to perspire. She noticed I was perspiring and I wasn't saying much so she asked if I was OK. I told her I was fine. A few seconds later *BRRRRAAAAAP*. She started to laugh! I told her, "I'm sorry, I tried everything I could to keep from doing that." She told me not to worry about it, and she told me hers were loud too. She was right!
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Old 03-27-07, 06:37 PM   #4
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I was teaching a class of junior high students and one ripped out, they shrieked and ran and it ruined the class.
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Old 03-27-07, 06:47 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
It was a little embarassing after a colonoscopy...I just woke up and the nurse was tending to me, and BRAAAAP. Oops...excuse me.

It wasn't until later that I found out that they actually inflate the colon before the actual procedure, so it WASN'T my fault.

I have had quite a few colonoscopies. Each time I come out of it the tending nurse says, "wfin, I am not letting you out until you pass gas. She is hot so I say, "I am not going to do it until you go over there". But until you have had a colonoscopy, you have no clue about how much gas you can pass! You can watch your stomach actually deflate as the seconds go by just-a-rippin' em!
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Old 03-27-07, 06:59 PM   #6
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during anal sex
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Old 03-27-07, 07:19 PM   #7
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When I was freshman in high-school. Went out with my physics class partner, she was a senior at the time. She was smokin' hot and looked like Meg Ryan with long hair. Came back to her place afterwards and was making out in her parents' bed (they were away on vacation). She slithered down on me in a 69-position. About 30-seconds into it, I just couldn't hold back anymore and let a magnitude-8.2 on the Richter scale rip. I could tell it was a good one due to seeing her hair blowing upwards...
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Old 03-27-07, 07:43 PM   #8
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I get the urge to do it occasionally during a massage after lunch.

I stash cotton pads with aromatic oils in the hot towel cabby just in case...they make the room smell so nice (lavendar with eucalyptis is a very good relaxant!) Luckily, most of my clients end up falling asleep!

That said, it usually only happens once a week or so...silent ones.
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Old 03-27-07, 08:09 PM   #9
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I busted some serious ass at a concert once, and I'm sure it was loud, very loud, but the concert was much louder and nobody heard it. Seeing the physical reactions to the smell, now that was funny.
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Old 03-27-07, 08:13 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DannoXYZ
When I was freshman in high-school. Went out with my physics class partner, she was a senior at the time. She was smokin' hot and looked like Meg Ryan with long hair. Came back to her place afterwards and was making out in her parents' bed (they were away on vacation). She slithered down on me in a 69-position. About 30-seconds into it, I just couldn't hold back anymore and let a magnitude-8.2 on the Richter scale rip. I could tell it was a good one due to seeing her hair blowing upwards...
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Old 03-27-07, 08:16 PM   #11
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No way I can tell the story without getting banned. Think of the worst possible moment you could let one rip as a young lad, alone, with a girl....yep I dooded it.
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Old 03-27-07, 08:32 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by chipcom
No way I can tell the story without getting banned. Think of the worst possible moment you could let one rip as a young lad, alone, with a girl....yep I dooded it.
I think Danno just beat you to the punch - although I think his was inspired by a twist of Larry the cable guy's version .
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Old 03-27-07, 08:50 PM   #13
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I was shopping at a grocery store and the urge came on suddenly. I was frantic as I could not hold it any longer and ran into the nearest empty aisle. Just as I let go a nice looking lady pushed her cart into the same aisle. As she rounded the corner the essence reached her nose. Her expression changed quickly and I got a real nasty look as she fled the aisle.
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Old 03-27-07, 08:59 PM   #14
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So i was sitting in this wendy's... ya lets not get into that one. At the deer lease me and my buddy were having fart wars and about round three i shat myself... not good.
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Old 03-27-07, 09:30 PM   #15
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An SBD in a choral concert. None of my fellow singers could handle this one- I'm sure everyone in the audience was wondering WTF when they saw our faces all scrunched up in repressed laughter (or pain). Moral: No black bean soup before singing.
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Old 03-27-07, 10:54 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
It was a little embarassing after a colonoscopy...I just woke up and the nurse was tending to me, and BRAAAAP. Oops...excuse me.

It wasn't until later that I found out that they actually inflate the colon before the actual procedure, so it WASN'T my fault.
Pretty much my story, but with lapraoscopic surgery. They pump your abdomen full of CO2 - naturally you're going to have gas you can't control. Lasted about a week for me. I had plenty of embarassing moments that week.
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Old 03-27-07, 11:42 PM   #17
Tom Stormcrowe
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Originally Posted by donnamb
Pretty much my story, but with lapraoscopic surgery. They pump your abdomen full of CO2 - naturally you're going to have gas you can't control. Lasted about a week for me. I had plenty of embarassing moments that week.
Boy, do I ever remember that when I had my laporocscopic surgery! I let one that had to have lasted a full 90 seconds of continuous braaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
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Old 03-28-07, 12:40 AM   #18
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I've pretty much mastered the art of silent farts. Still working on making them odourless...
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Old 03-28-07, 01:39 AM   #19
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Not me, but my brother...when he was about 10 he was playing Atari (yes, thaaaat long ago) in the living room while my mom and I were in kitchen about 20 feet away.

While sitting on floor with contoller and playing the game, he starts one. It goes so long that my mom and I start hysterically laughing. It still just keeps continuing. After about 15-20 seconds I look at the second hand on the clock.

In the end, he let one long continuous loud fart that lasted about 1 minute and 15 seconds.
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Old 03-28-07, 02:15 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by KingTermite
Not me, but my brother...when he was about 10 he was playing Atari (yes, thaaaat long ago) in the living room while my mom and I were in kitchen about 20 feet away.

While sitting on floor with contoller and playing the game, he starts one. It goes so long that my mom and I start hysterically laughing. It still just keeps continuing. After about 15-20 seconds I look at the second hand on the clock.

In the end, he let one long continuous loud fart that lasted about 1 minute and 15 seconds.
I take it you were fed a steady diet of pea soup and beans!
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Old 03-28-07, 03:41 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingTermite
Not me, but my brother...when he was about 10 he was playing Atari (yes, thaaaat long ago) in the living room while my mom and I were in kitchen about 20 feet away.

While sitting on floor with contoller and playing the game, he starts one. It goes so long that my mom and I start hysterically laughing. It still just keeps continuing. After about 15-20 seconds I look at the second hand on the clock.

In the end, he let one long continuous loud fart that lasted about 1 minute and 15 seconds.
My first thought when reading that, was "GET A LIGHTER, NOW."
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Old 03-28-07, 03:49 AM   #22
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Mine was the day after surgery in Montreal. The nurse who only really spoke French with just a smattering of English came in and asked If I wanted a back rub. Being one who has been known to comit criminal acts in order to get a back rub, heartily accepted.

She had been plying her craft for about a minute or so when all of the sudden this welling of gas escapes and I had no warning or control. I embarassedly appologized freverently. Giggling she said, No worry, no worry, it okay. Happen every time.

Gods bless this poor woman, she never missed a beat and just kept rubbing as I kept tootin'. When she was done she said, Good, now maybe you go tomorrow.
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Old 03-28-07, 04:58 AM   #23
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I was meeting the parents of this girl I was dating....at the dinner table I couldn't help it....I let one out that made the dog run out of the room
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Old 03-28-07, 09:57 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chipcom
No way I can tell the story without getting banned. Think of the worst possible moment you could let one rip as a young lad, alone, with a girl....yep I dooded it.
A guy I knew had the same experience w/ a girl he met in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. Both wasted. A little bit of standard pre-coitus activity. Boom-boom. Then she wretched in his shoes.
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Old 03-28-07, 10:09 PM   #25
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this is to funny
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