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  1. #1
    Unique Vintage Steel cuda2k's Avatar
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    Am I right to be mad?

    Ok, I'll keep this short and to the point, just the facts:

    1) Had surgery to remove moles from my thigh and my right temple on Wed afternoon.

    2) My bestfriend and a few other coworkers wanted to get group together to see the primere of Spiderman 3 tonight. Which I was hesitant to agree to and told them I would give the thumbs up/down by Thursday morning.

    3) That same friend, one of the other coworkers and I had made plans to get together at my apartment Sat afternoon to hang out for a while.

    4) Thrusday morning rolls around and I'm hurting bad. Pain pills are taking the edge off, but lots of things are causing the head to hurt, including loud sounds, and the leg certainly isn't making it easy to get around.

    5) I ask my wife to message friend to let him know I don't think I'll be up for making movie. Say I'm sorry, but just won't be ready to go out in a crowd, watch loud movie in theater, and the pain pills have me in a bit of a daze.

    6) Friend and coworker (mostly at friend's prompting) proceed to cancel out Saturday's plans just because 'I'm ditching them' Friday night.

    Now this is a friend I've known for over a decade, and the Best Man at my wedding for cryin' out loud. The fact he would be immature enough to 'screw me over for Saturday' just because I had to cancel the night before due to medical recovery. He can be a bit 'all about him' at times. But this just takes the cake. I don't know if I should just drop it or what.

  2. #2
    Opus PATH's Avatar
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    Maybe they figure you will still be in pain the next night. Don't read too much into it. As things go it is really not on the top of the list is it? Sit home with the wife and enjoy a quiet Saturday night at home. Life is good! Let it go.
    Go raibh an chóir ghaoithe i gcónaí liom!

    2007 Specialized Tricross Comp Triple, 2007 Trek T1, 2006 Specialized Roubaix
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    And good night Moon

  3. #3
    Senior Member -VELOCITY-'s Avatar
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    Yeah that's true. Maybe he just feels that it'll be in your best interest.

  4. #4
    Emondafied cydewaze's Avatar
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    That would annoy me too. It almost reminds me of when I broke my leg and was in a cast, and how suddenly almost all of my "friends" found their way onto the endangered species list.

    Call everyone else and tell them Saturday is still on, with or without your "friend".

  5. #5
    Unique Vintage Steel cuda2k's Avatar
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    He made it quite clear that he felt I was ditching him tonight and in return he was canceling on Saturday to be some how 'even'. The whole reason I wanted them to come over Saturday was because I was afraid I wouldn't be up to going out yet and still wanted to hang out with them some outside of work. Guess he doesn't see it that way.

    In any case, it was just going to be 2 guys coming over, get my mind off the fact I'm not able to ride at all right now and missing out on a good part of the best riding weather of the year. I just can't believe he has the thought that I'm purposely bailing on him. Suppose that's what really irks me right now. As it is I'm probably doing too much on my leg. The two incisions I had last week are showing some minor bleeding since the last time I'd cleaned them Wed night. Being packed in a theater and having people trying to squeeze by me to get to seats all night is not my idea of a good time right now.

    Anyways, I'll get over it. Not the first time he's been a stubborn ***. He's the reason I ate alone for lunch before my wedding. He wanted to wait an hour for a table at a restaurant, I didn't have that kind of time to burn. But that's in the past and try not to old it against him.

  6. #6
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    That sucks cuda

    I hope you heal soon so you can ride like you want.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  7. #7
    Out fishing with Annie on his lap, a cigar in one hand and a ginger ale in the other, watching the sunset. Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    RTell him he's being a yutz and a pud and you expect better of him!
    Quote Originally Posted by cuda2k
    He made it quite clear that he felt I was ditching him tonight and in return he was canceling on Saturday to be some how 'even'. The whole reason I wanted them to come over Saturday was because I was afraid I wouldn't be up to going out yet and still wanted to hang out with them some outside of work. Guess he doesn't see it that way.

    In any case, it was just going to be 2 guys coming over, get my mind off the fact I'm not able to ride at all right now and missing out on a good part of the best riding weather of the year. I just can't believe he has the thought that I'm purposely bailing on him. Suppose that's what really irks me right now. As it is I'm probably doing too much on my leg. The two incisions I had last week are showing some minor bleeding since the last time I'd cleaned them Wed night. Being packed in a theater and having people trying to squeeze by me to get to seats all night is not my idea of a good time right now.

    Anyways, I'll get over it. Not the first time he's been a stubborn ***. He's the reason I ate alone for lunch before my wedding. He wanted to wait an hour for a table at a restaurant, I didn't have that kind of time to burn. But that's in the past and try not to old it against him.
    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Note to self: Try not to bail out on Cuda ever again!



    JK Ya'll it wasn't me, but I know who it is!

    I am going to go to the dudes house and toss Expldoy Pup through a window with a mean note tied around his neck.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe
    RTell him he's being a yutz and a pud and you expect better of him!
    Yes, but do it when you're feeling better, Cuda. When you're feeling lousy is not the time to be telling a good friend that he bummed you out. Do it when you're not in pain/discomfort, and you're less likely to say something you might later regret.
    "Real wars of words are harder to win. They require thought, insight, precision, articulation, knowledge, and experience. They require the humility to admit when you are wrong. They recognize that the dialectic is not about making us look at you, but about us all looking together for the truth."

  10. #10
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Better yet, take three pain pills and tell him stuff that even you did not know you were mad about! BTW, I am seriously lacking in the people skills arena as you well know, so most, if not all of my advice should be immediately discarded.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  11. #11
    The Guadfather Lecterman's Avatar
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    Just take some Vicodin and combine it with some Tito's, and you'll forget all about it

    Sorry to hear your friend is being an ass. He'll get over it, and so will you. Give it a while to cool down. You'll patch it up.
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    "Minor bun engine, made Benny Lava!!!"

  12. #12
    Unique Vintage Steel cuda2k's Avatar
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    Thanks all. I signed off for a bit and when I got back online saw I had an email from him. It was more of the same BS. I emailed back basically stating my stance on the situation and that I wasn't going to hold it against him (or least least I'm going to try not to), but made it clear I didn't appriciate the way he was acting.

    It's been a rough 4-5 months for me, and all this surgery is just the latest thing on my plate that's got me beat down. Being completely off the bike is the last thing I needed at the beginning of this summer. And to have a friend act this way really was a deep cut. In any case, thanks for the replies, ya'll are great.

  13. #13
    unofficial roadie DirtPedalerB's Avatar
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    send hiim pictures of you holding a hammer and 2 handguns that'll scare him

  14. #14
    Peddler Seamless's Avatar
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    You just don't feel like running around when you're out of sorts. No big deal.
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  15. #15
    Senior Member Ziemas's Avatar
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    It sounds to me like your friend is really immature. We all have friends from the 'old days' whom we have grown in different ways from. He's still your buddy even if he's acting like a knucklehead from high school. Realize this, move on from being angry at him, and continue to be good friends. I'm sure he'll have his day to be angry with you.

  16. #16
    Feral Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    What's being a bit 'all about him' exactly? I'm just curious if he's an ass generally or if he's got a specific bugbear against you. His behaviour is downright nancy passive-aggressive childish retributive narkery.

    Your response to him was just right. Now donna's right, rest up for now and I think you're best seriously confronting him again when you're feeling better, in the same manner you already have. Since he's a good friend thus knows of the crap you've been dealing with, it really seems like he's trying to actively be a jerkoff. Or at the very least cluelessly selfish and inconsiderate. That's not the kind of support you need from a friend. I wonder if maybe after some time, one realizes that some people move on in better directions than others?

    Don't let others' asshattery get you down. They'll get their own. Death to the moles.
    Quote Originally Posted by KrisPistofferson View Post
    Did you just say "minarchist?" I'm going to start a 10-page vaginathon because only Libertarians can define Libertarianism. Also, you're mean.

  17. #17
    Feral Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    I was just sitting here picturing your scenario in my life, with my friends. I struggled seeing that ever happening. When I finally saw it I was quite taken aback. Sorry to say, but your friend is a jerk. I don't know how entangled or close your lives all are, but I think about how much one's peers and surroundings form the basis of normality, and how beneficial it can be to expand one's range of cohorts in order to engage better people in more positive and loving ways. I wonder if it might be something for you to ponder.

    Rest easy. My condolences on the not riding. I understand all too well how frustrating and depressing it is.
    Quote Originally Posted by KrisPistofferson View Post
    Did you just say "minarchist?" I'm going to start a 10-page vaginathon because only Libertarians can define Libertarianism. Also, you're mean.

  18. #18
    Unique Vintage Steel cuda2k's Avatar
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    Thanks for the insight all, esp you Nicodemus. Unfortunately - I work with him - so there's no real way to distance myself for a week or two to cool down. I'm feeling better this morning for the most part. Got a good solid 9hrs of sleep last night which I really needed. Woke up with just a little discomfort from the incisions and will hopefully be off the heavy pain meds and just on some over the counter stuff by the afternoon.

    Also, barring any unforseen events, I should have my new frame back from the painter's in about 27 hrs. Which I am most certainly looking forward to. Other than the paying for the job thing. But it should be well worth the cost.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Devil_Woman's Avatar
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    Cuda2k: You're the bigger person by doing it the way you did. Take care and get better.

  20. #20
    It is what it is... Minesbroken's Avatar
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    at least they were moles and not squirrels
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  21. #21
    Senior Member Mr. Gear Jammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cuda2k
    Ok, I'll keep this short and to the point, just the facts:

    1) Had surgery to remove moles from my thigh and my right temple on Wed afternoon.

    2) My bestfriend and a few other coworkers wanted to get group together to see the primere of Spiderman 3 tonight. Which I was hesitant to agree to and told them I would give the thumbs up/down by Thursday morning.

    3) That same friend, one of the other coworkers and I had made plans to get together at my apartment Sat afternoon to hang out for a while.

    4) Thrusday morning rolls around and I'm hurting bad. Pain pills are taking the edge off, but lots of things are causing the head to hurt, including loud sounds, and the leg certainly isn't making it easy to get around.

    5) I ask my wife to message friend to let him know I don't think I'll be up for making movie. Say I'm sorry, but just won't be ready to go out in a crowd, watch loud movie in theater, and the pain pills have me in a bit of a daze.

    6) Friend and coworker (mostly at friend's prompting) proceed to cancel out Saturday's plans just because 'I'm ditching them' Friday night.

    Now this is a friend I've known for over a decade, and the Best Man at my wedding for cryin' out loud. The fact he would be immature enough to 'screw me over for Saturday' just because I had to cancel the night before due to medical recovery. He can be a bit 'all about him' at times. But this just takes the cake. I don't know if I should just drop it or what.
    You have right, i have been in that situation before telling a friend i was sick and tired. That friend did not take that very well for some odd rason.
    Tropical pole vaulting is the shiznit.

  22. #22
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    My first reaction is that I thought he just assumed you wouldnt be able to make it on Sat so he prematurly cancelled the plans..
    it hurts because you are good friend with him, we always get more hurt when it concerns people we usually have feelings for ( friends).
    Id just casually bring it up but dont jump to conclusions too fast.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Mr. Gear Jammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    My first reaction is that I thought he just assumed you wouldnt be able to make it on Sat so he prematurly cancelled the plans..
    it hurts because you are good friend with him, we always get more hurt when it concerns people we usually have feelings for ( friends).
    Id just casually bring it up but dont jump to conclusions too fast.

    Good advice there, being mad or agressive at em could make matters worse.
    Tropical pole vaulting is the shiznit.

  24. #24
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    These guys sound like a couple of ****** bags... drop em.

  25. #25
    Unique Vintage Steel cuda2k's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    My first reaction is that I thought he just assumed you wouldnt be able to make it on Sat so he prematurly cancelled the plans..
    it hurts because you are good friend with him, we always get more hurt when it concerns people we usually have feelings for ( friends).
    Id just casually bring it up but dont jump to conclusions too fast.
    I really wish this was the case. But it was quite apparent from the conversation I've had that wasn't the case. Guess I've learned that he's still got a fair bit of maturing to do. Oh well.

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