[gnashing of teeth]
Bifocals! Oh hell no. The eye doctor is telling me it's time to become my dad. Aw, crap.
I know I've got the body of Jimmy Stewart, but I don't want his glasses too.
Time to choose between leather and metal eyeglass chains.
Anyone seen my cardigan? Eh? Can't hear ya. Outta the way it's time for the 4:00 blue plate at the dinner.
[/pulling of hair]