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Old 05-25-07, 06:06 AM   #1
snowy
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The End!

Today is the first day of the end of my relationship with boyfriend.

I'm destroyed and so torn up. I have to find a new place to live. This is a nightmare. A NIGHTMARE.

I need help and strength. Please send me your good thoughts. I feel like I loss a family member.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:10 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
Today is the first day of the end of my relationship with boyfriend.

I'm destroyed and so torn up. I have to find a new place to live. This is a nightmare. A NIGHTMARE.

I need help and strength. Please send me your good thoughts. I feel like I loss a family member.


NOOOO. Do NOT feel like it is the end.



It is the beginning of a new chapter. You are young, beautiful and strong.

Have heart, Snowy.

We are here for you, you know things will work out. Just let us know how to help. Trust me on this. I'm typing this with a fractured skull...but Foo is helping me to heal.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:14 AM   #3
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I have no words that will help. As much as having to move makes this suck even more, at least it's something for you to focus your energy on.

So here, have these...

{HUGS and HUGS and HUGS and KISSES and GOOD VIBES and MORE HUGS**

Really so sorry for your pain. But deep down I'm actually much more happy for your future.

cuz you need it and deserve it girl.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:17 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Nicodemus
Really so sorry for your pain. But deep down I'm actually much more happy for your future.

cuz you need it and deserve it girl.



That's what I was trying to say.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:19 AM   #5
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what happened ??? didnt you try to explain what happened in Paris? what about your relationship being something that doesnt have to be picked between mom and dad or you???

I am SO sorry snowy, omg.. you adored this guy.. Im stunned.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:19 AM   #6
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The end of something always means the start of another.. Keep your head up and be strong -- Easier said than done, but you will have to do it.

I'm sorry you have to go through this but I am quite certain it's for the better. (Though I can only assume, being unknown to the specific of this relationship) Now is the time to do those things you really wanted to do all along, but didn't dare. Life took a turn, simply follow it along.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:21 AM   #7
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Yep, you have my support if you need it, if you have the need to vent, let it out.

Times like those are tough, but just look ahead, not behind...healing is in the future, and that future is almost blindingly bright, so just keep on keeping on!

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Old 05-25-07, 06:22 AM   #8
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Snowy, sorry to hear it but perhaps another way to look at it. It is good to find out that you were second fiddle to momma if that is the cause. Remember, you truly are a great person and deserve someone who thinks the same of you.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:23 AM   #9
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I know what you mean Snowy. I'm sorry, its really tough and its just going to take time to heal.

My ex-gf had been trying to be friends with me for the past year or so. About two weeks ago I had to tell her to stop because it was driving me nuts. It didn't go pretty. I felt like I went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson and lost my best friend in the process. Its been tough and I've missed her every day since, but deep down I know it was the right thing to do.

I can't imagine living with someone you're breaking up with. That's gotta be rough, I can't imagine. Hang tough and we're here for ya! My pm box is always open.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:24 AM   #10
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I know how you're hurting Snowy and feel your pain. It will get better, you will be stronger for it, but that dosen't help right now. Sorry.

(((((HUGS))))))
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Old 05-25-07, 06:26 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
what happened ??? didnt you try to explain what happened in Paris? what about your relationship being something that doesnt have to be picked between mom and dad or you???

I am SO sorry snowy, omg.. you adored this guy.. Im stunned.
BDG, his parents wishes are not to be with me. I messed up big time. I have come off as being bossey, my background (growing up) was less then to be desired, there is just soo much more I couldn't possibly know where to begin.

This is the worse thing I could have imagine happening.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:40 AM   #12
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I don't know you Snowy, but I've been there and feel your pain (not to be trite- I'm serious). It will get better, but like everyone says, vent, and then vent some more. Go through the mourning process- we'll be here with you.

All the best, and peace.
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Old 05-25-07, 06:53 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
BDG, his parents wishes are not to be with me. I messed up big time. I have come off as being bossey, my background (growing up) was less then to be desired, there is just soo much more I couldn't possibly know where to begin.

This is the worse thing I could have imagine happening.
Im so sad for you, that seems so unfair, all of this for one stupid trip, who in the world doesnt get aggravated when they are stuck for days with the same people, SPECIALLY inlaws!!!!!!
this seem very unfair, good luck to him being with someone HIS parents will pick for him! how ridiculous!

HUGE hug, Im so sorry!
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Old 05-25-07, 06:56 AM   #14
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Here's a practical tip for the transition: Get a private post office box right away. One of those places in an office suite. You can get mail and fedex/ups deliveries. Put in a change of address with the post office to deliver all your mail there. After that, you can at least easily get your important mail without any funny business going on with the ex having mailbox access.
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Old 05-25-07, 07:00 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
I messed up big time.
You made a comment that in 99% of situations would be fine, you made ample attempts at amends, he's a boy and not a man, and can't deal with his parents in a mature and healthy way while balancing a relationship. Not your fault! It's unfortunate it took as long as it did to come to the surface. Bottom line: he does not deserve you.

Quote:
This is the worse thing I could have imagine happening.
I counter with this is a new and fresh beginning for the rest of your life, a benchmark to look back on and improve on what you are looking for in a mate and man (again, not boy). This will be one of the best things, trust me. The interim between here and that realization...well it's not going to be easy or pretty. But you have us and plenty of 'flesh and blooders' in your area that will step up if you ask them to. Remember, one step at a time and when you're done there's plenty behind you.

((Hugs)) Snowy - you know where you can find me!
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Old 05-25-07, 07:09 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
BDG, his parents wishes are not to be with me. I messed up big time. I have come off as being bossey, my background (growing up) was less then to be desired, there is just soo much more I couldn't possibly know where to begin.

This is the worse thing I could have imagine happening.
Aww, I am so sorry darlin...but if that's the kind of people they are, screw em, they don't deserve you in their lives. I'm seriously pissed that your ex-BF is that much of a freakin wussy!

Take it easy, I know it hurts now, for every door that closes, three more open. You'll come out of this better, stronger and wiser...and you will meet someone else who will love you for who you are, not who his parents want you to be. You got all of us Foosters to help you in any way we can...and I mean anything. (Well except if I gotta face down mean alien kitty kats...I just can't handle mean alien kitty kats...but anything else, really )

I'm sorry, I'm not good at this...just try to look ahead at all the possibilities of the future and don't worry about where you have been, what you might of lost and what you might not have. You are a special gal and I know that you have lots of special things waiting for you as you continue on this roller-coaster journey we call life.
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Old 05-25-07, 07:13 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
BDG, his parents wishes are not to be with me. I messed up big time. I have come off as being bossey, my background (growing up) was less then to be desired, there is just soo much more I couldn't possibly know where to begin.
Snowy -

I'm sorry to hear about this. But if ^^^ is an accurate depiction of the wedge that's been driven in, then you have to know that you are FAR FAR better off enduring this pain which will be relatively short lived than the enduring long term pain of living with constant comments, fault finding, nit picking and outright hostility from his family. And the inevitable bigger pain of a split after a longer time together.

Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
This is the worse thing I could have imagine happening.
To be blunt, it sounds as if staying together would be the worst thing that could happen. Hard to see from your vantage point, but from an outside perspective it looks like this might be one of the better outcomes.

If they are truly like this you want to be as far away from them (that means both your soon to be ex and his parents) as you can be for your own health and well being because eventually it would infect you and you would start to become like they sound or you would come to realize your boyfriend is really not that different than his parents; and that would hurt even more after more time together.

You didn't mess up. You were you and you made a faux pas that should be no big deal. Some discussion and put it behind everyone. In this case, it revealed something far more serious that had been hovering just out of sight, but there none the less. Do not for a second think what you said is what caused this; it's just the catalyst for something that would have reared its ugly head at some point anyway. Like I said, better sooner than later.

Last edited by skiahh; 05-25-07 at 07:19 AM.
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Old 05-25-07, 07:17 AM   #18
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Hang in there and go hit up the hills!
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Old 05-25-07, 07:18 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
BDG, his parents wishes are not to be with me. I messed up big time. I have come off as being bossey, my background (growing up) was less then to be desired, there is just soo much more I couldn't possibly know where to begin.

This is the worse thing I could have imagine happening.
I don't know all the details, but from what I've gathered in this thread it would seem his parents don't approve? They French? Geez, my best friend (French) has been very much in that position. Her parents are awfully traditional and unapproving. I've known others who have endured this as well, and I appreciate all too well how much it can wreck someone.

She did what was right for her, not them. I don't want to project too much as I don't know your detailed story, but from what I see it would appear that you are best getting out of a relationship where your SO doesn't put you first.

I guess you don't need reassurance or explanations anymore. You've already done the right thing. I'll add the offer of PM as well, if you want to blather to yet another unknown soul on teh internets.

For now, have some more..
{HUGS and HUGS and HUGS**
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Old 05-25-07, 07:25 AM   #20
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oh, geez, Snowy, I am so sorry for the pain you are going through right now. I've been there and it HURTS. I've also been beyond that spot and I know you will make it through as well. You'll get a broader perspective on everything and will find some peace. Believe me.

In the mean time, just lean on your BF friends, strange and silly as we are!

Peace and joy,
Liz
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Old 05-25-07, 07:29 AM   #21
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You can't find a new beginning, without going through an old end.
And besides, it's better (and cheaper) to find out now that ex-b/f was a wuss, than when lawyers get involved.
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Old 05-25-07, 07:29 AM   #22
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sorry to hear about this snowy. ((((hugs, hugs, hugs))))
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Old 05-25-07, 07:31 AM   #23
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Sorry to hear
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Old 05-25-07, 07:50 AM   #24
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your bike would never treat you like that, go ride it will help to clear your head
there are better people out there and you will find the right one this is good for you, you have now been giving the chance to find the right person now go and enjoy life there is more than bad boyfreinds
and vent all you want to foo we will all be here
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Old 05-25-07, 07:51 AM   #25
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Sorry to hear that; just keep pedaling, it is gonna get better soon.
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