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Old 05-25-07, 03:13 PM   #1
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When Squirrels Attack!!!



TWICE huge-ass squirrels have attacked my house today. I'll sit on the back porch resting, then *BOOM* rustle-rustle...I see a huge reject from Bullwinkle hanging 20 off the screen window, taunting my dog Sly.


WTF?

This has never happened ever. Is it global warming? The 90+ temps? It's pretty wild and scary.

Keep in mind, these are alpha squirrels. Not cute...big like cats.

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Old 05-25-07, 03:20 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Serendipper
Is it global warming?
Yes.

Squirrels are going crazy in fear of global warming, along with Peak Oil, acid rain, the coming ice age, the Red Menace, nuclear armageddon, and tuberculosis.

Squirrels are extremely paranoid, and don't easily forget past paranoias.

Plus, they want that small bowl of acorns you have on your coffee table.
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Old 05-25-07, 03:23 PM   #3
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Squirrels taste oh so yummy!
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Old 05-25-07, 03:27 PM   #4
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Seriously...I've never known them to be so aggressive. Sly's food bowl is below the window they are attacking, plus with the drought and fires the trees are in terrible shape.

Maybe they are running out of food. So sad.
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Old 05-25-07, 03:58 PM   #5
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If they are the gray tree rats that run all over Atlanta (world) then they most likely have young in the area and know why Sly got his name. If they are truly huge and black (and usually some other color) they are fox squirrels. We have a few of them over here in Mudville, and they'll hold their own ground. One occasionally shows up in my back yard, he's got a big old scar across his shoulder, and I think a switchblade behind his back. He'll stare you right in the eye and bark.
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Old 05-25-07, 04:19 PM   #6
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Back in the college years, my wifester was sitting in the courtyard in front of one of the buildings, and a squirrel dropped a half gnawed apple core on her lap. No fooling. It had distinctive squirrel markings.
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Old 05-25-07, 04:45 PM   #7
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Why are you looking at the size of the squirrel's asses? Maybe they are sensitive about that, and that's why they are attacking.....
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Old 05-25-07, 04:58 PM   #8
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Our house is sided with pebble dash stucco. Lately a couple of squirrels have figured out that they can climb this. Now we have to keep the windows closed to one inch until we buy screens. The little ***gers have climbed right in.
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Old 05-25-07, 05:06 PM   #9
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Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch these squirrels for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad rodents. Not like going down to the park and chasing bunnies and pigeons. These squirrels, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find them for three, but I'll catch them, and kill them, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the heads, the tails, the whole damn thing.
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Old 05-25-07, 05:08 PM   #10
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^
I think you're gonna need a bigger boat.
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Old 05-25-07, 05:19 PM   #11
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In seriousness, we have those kinds of aquirrels all over the palce here....I generally ignore them.

One of them sits outside my bedroom window and screeches for hours on end. I made it a point to blast that little hellspawn with my waterbottle anytime it's in range.

Sad part, I think the screwy furball likes it.
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Old 05-25-07, 07:41 PM   #12
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So I'm cruising down this hill on my nightly ride tonight, and I see this cute little tree rat up ahead. He's looking at my front wheel, trying to decide when to jump in front of me. We make eye contact. I say "go ahead- make my day." He sits up all cute like- his little paws folded in front of his chest. I'm thinking this is definitely not going to end well- I'm hitting 23-24mph, and I have no desire to see my Bianchi do double duty as a Cuisinart. Nor did I feel like a case of road rash. Not tonight, anyway. The little chicken decided not to go at the last minute, but I could see it in his eyes- a real James Dean he was- full of spunk and derring-do. But he lived on to terrorize another rider.
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Old 05-25-07, 08:36 PM   #13
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Well, are those squirrels trained in martial arts?



Yeah, that's what I thought.

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Old 05-25-07, 08:54 PM   #14
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Our squirrels here are quite civilized. We have a couple that are actually pretty tame even. We sit on the porch and they come up an beg for peanuts and sunflower seeds, they'll take them right out of my fingers.

They don't trust the wife that much yet, or anyone else around, but they're my little furry buds I guess!
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Old 05-25-07, 10:36 PM   #15
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this is what you do to those pesky squirrels:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFJeGbQkDDg
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Old 05-26-07, 04:39 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catatonic
In seriousness, we have those kinds of aquirrels all over the palce here....I generally ignore them.

One of them sits outside my bedroom window and screeches for hours on end. I made it a point to blast that little hellspawn with my waterbottle anytime it's in range.

Sad part, I think the screwy furball likes it.
Most likely, if it is so hot out, you are cooling it off. I love to watch squirrels, they are cute. Here at this house we call them, Bushy Tail Yard Rats. We have a bird feeder and now and then a squirrel will come and eat the peanuts out of it. Years ago when I was younger and at home, my Mom had a squirrel that would take the nuts right out of her hand. I loved watching her do this.
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Old 05-26-07, 05:55 AM   #17
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Old 05-26-07, 07:59 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Go_Fast
this is what you do to those pesky squirrels:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFJeGbQkDDg
Another Squirrel-pult!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkduT6gPT38
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