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Old 06-01-07, 02:19 AM   #1
Allez Oops
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Sexualizing non-sexual needs and desires.

The second in a series of topics on the internet and intimacy.

I was asked a question recently that got my brain to churning.

Q: Why is it, on internet forums, when someone is intrigued by another poster, it right away goes into sex-mode?

My provincial, half-baked theory:

Here in the U.S., intensity of feeling has become associated almost strictly with romantic pairings. Straight guys are not allowed to have intense feelings for other guys. Married people are not allowed to have intense feelings toward members of the opposite sex -- instead, that interest is expected to be focused solely on the married partner.

So, what is UP with all the sex talk on these forum? Is this the only way we know how to express affection?

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Old 06-01-07, 02:22 AM   #2
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Yeah, different things are repressed and manifest themselves in different ways... etc.
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Old 06-01-07, 02:30 AM   #3
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yes.
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Old 06-01-07, 03:13 AM   #4
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I don't know if it's just me, but I don't typically go into sex mode when I'm intrigued by a forum post / poster. In fact I don't think I ever have. But maybe it's because I'm rarely intrigued by what someone writes?

I even spend time on another site related to sexual discussion and I've never felt particularly attracted to any of the members there.

Maybe I'm just oversexed IRL ... or perhaps not understanding what you're getting at?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Allez Oops
So, what is UP with all the sex talk on these forum? Is this the only way we know how to express affection?
I think discussing sex has little to do with affection. More likely, most people spend a lot of time thinking about sex. The Internet gives us a convenient shroud of anonymity to express what's on our minds for better or worse, but I don't think it necessarily relates to affection. It might be just stuff we're too shy to talk about in "the real world."
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Old 06-01-07, 03:16 AM   #5
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what is this "sex" of which you speak???
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Old 06-01-07, 05:15 AM   #6
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Sorry? I thought this was BikeForums. Maybe I'm just not reading the right threads.
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Old 06-01-07, 05:21 AM   #7
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Maybe it amuses them?

I dunno about some here, but for me the occaisional innuendo-fest can be quite fun.

I don't see anything wrong with thinking about sex constantly...a gutter mind is nothing to be ashamed of.....it's when you can't set aside that gutter mind when needed to that it becomes a problem.

Pretty much my take on everything is "so long as you actually can control it (not just claim you can), and do control it when needed to, there's no serious problems". This goes for eating, drinking, sleeping, farting, slapping the crap out of idiots that try to inflate your MTB tires with jello, etc.
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Old 06-01-07, 05:26 AM   #8
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Admit it, all you people are HORNY.
HOR... hey, what's your cup size again? 32C? I'll take it!
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Old 06-01-07, 05:39 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Allez Oops
Why is it, on internet forums, when someone is intrigued by another poster, it right away goes into sex-mode?
I have many male friends here who I talk to via PM, IM and even telephone and we never talk about sex. I must be different.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Allez Oops
Straight guys are not allowed to have intense feelings for other guys.
You must not know Jon very well.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Allez Oops
The second in a series of topics on the internet and intimacy. <snip>
So, what is UP with all the sex talk on these forum?
Yeah, why ARE your threads about sex?




I'm just messin' with ya. I hope you get your answers.
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Old 06-01-07, 05:41 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Allez Oops
The second in a series of topics on the internet and intimacy.

I was asked a question recently that got my brain to churning.

Q: Why is it, on internet forums, when someone is intrigued by another poster, it right away goes into sex-mode?

My provincial, half-baked theory:

Here in the U.S., intensity of feeling has become associated almost strictly with romantic pairings. Straight guys are not allowed to have intense feelings for other guys. Married people are not allowed to have intense feelings toward members of the opposite sex -- instead, that interest is expected to be focused solely on the married partner.

So, what is UP with all the sex talk on these forum? Is this the only way we know how to express affection?
That analysis is a bit awry.

It's just people being people. Sexual innuendo and frustration boiling over into desperate attempts at trolling for nookie, or simple silly flirting, are part of what we do.

I fail to see a strong case for the claim that this is because of the internet, rather than the internet simply being the modern (and very useful and addictive) tool for such behaviour. The anonymity aspect just makes it more tempting.

Your "intensity of feeling and romantic pairings" paragraph doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Most people would surely say that they are perfectly comfortable having intense feelings for others. And it's not a mark of dysfunction for people to feel that intense romantic feelings for others is wrong, when they have a partner.

And what sex talk are you talking about? All I see is the occasional innuendo, silly childish flirting, and the *thunk* threads.
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Old 06-01-07, 05:45 AM   #11
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I have to take it where I can get it.

Naw mean?
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Old 06-01-07, 05:46 AM   #12
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The funny thing is, I have no genuine attraction to any of the women here (except as eye candy). Yet there are a few guys I could really *seriously* dig. If I were gay.
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Old 06-01-07, 05:57 AM   #13
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I believe your answers lie somewhere in "On the origin of Species" by Richard Darwin.


Eh..I mean Charles Darwin.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Allez Oops
The second in a series of topics on the internet and intimacy.

I was asked a question recently that got my brain to churning.

Q: Why is it, on internet forums, when someone is intrigued by another poster, it right away goes into sex-mode?

My provincial, half-baked theory:

Here in the U.S., intensity of feeling has become associated almost strictly with romantic pairings. Straight guys are not allowed to have intense feelings for other guys. Married people are not allowed to have intense feelings toward members of the opposite sex -- instead, that interest is expected to be focused solely on the married partner.

So, what is UP with all the sex talk on these forum? Is this the only way we know how to express affection?
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Old 06-01-07, 06:19 AM   #14
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If someone says something like, "I was walking and then all of a sudden I tripped and tossed my cookies across the room" it's much funnier to respond:

Quote:
then

Quote:
Too bad - hope the cleanup wasn't bad
(OK.. would be pretty funny after that too).

Afterall - if I'm not posting a direct answer to a question or offering support I'm posting to amuse myself and hopefully some others. I once posted an answer to a post with, "At least it's not emetophilia" [I do not suggest looking that up - really. I'm doing you a favor by not linking to it. I'm serious now - you kids can't handle it] and while I gave a warning and a bunch of people were grossed out there was someone I started talking to because they found it hysterical and we've become great friends since.

And no, totally not into that - but it's pretty darned funny reading people's reactions to it!
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Last edited by Air; 06-01-07 at 06:25 AM.
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Old 06-01-07, 06:20 AM   #15
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That was very non sexual Air. Bump it up a little, willya?
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Old 06-01-07, 06:26 AM   #16
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buttsecks?????
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Old 06-01-07, 06:29 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicodemus
The funny thing is, I have no genuine attraction to any of the women here (except as eye candy). Yet there are a few guys I could really *seriously* dig. If I were gay.
Admit it- you've already blow up posts of the "Ladies of Foo" thread and hung them on your wall. Everyone else here does that....Right?
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Old 06-01-07, 07:21 AM   #18
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Quote:
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And what sex talk are you talking about? All I see is the occasional innuendo, silly childish flirting, and the *thunk* threads.
I'm talking about, for example, women describing, in detail, their attempts to "jill-off" while biking.

Just to be clear: I'm not exactly a prude. I've worked in the adult industry. And maybe that's why I find it bothersome. It'd be nice to be able to come to a BIKING forum and talk about bikes. Not rubbing one out.

And, those *thunk* threads? Holy crap. There is more fluffing going on there than in low-budget pr0n, but ok, I get it. Ego..fantasy...you tell me what I want to hear, and I'll do the same for you...okie dokie.

The over-sexed vibe in some forums is off-putting, is all.

Others will disagree. That's fine.

Cheers.

Last edited by Allez Oops; 06-01-07 at 07:46 AM.
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Old 06-01-07, 07:57 AM   #19
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Allez - you seem a little tense. Go watch some porn and take care of it.
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Old 06-01-07, 07:59 AM   #20
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Allez - you seem a little tense. Go watch some porn and take care of it.
+1.
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Old 06-01-07, 08:12 AM   #21
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Quote:
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So, what is UP with all the sex talk on these forum? Is this the only way we know how to express affection?
Haha, you said "up"
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Old 06-01-07, 08:31 AM   #22
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Haha, you said "up"

Hey baby, how YOU doin?
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Old 06-01-07, 08:36 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Allez Oops
Q: Why is it, on internet forums, when someone is intrigued by another poster, it right away goes into sex-mode?
This is all dependent upon your question being based on some valid behavior, which IMO it is not.

Now get undressed and dance like a chicken for us.
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Old 06-01-07, 08:38 AM   #24
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Did someone say "hard"? huhuhuhuhuhuh....

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Old 06-01-07, 08:38 AM   #25
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Did someone say "hard"? huhuhuhuhuhuh....


That was '95? I almost feel old now.


Almost.
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