I don't have much time... Finally found a wireless signal and my laptop battery is just about to die. Please someone help me! I'm somewhere in Richardson, TX in a large cedar chest in jsharr's garage. He only lets me out once a day to hose the box out and to beat me with a cane. The beatings aren't really that bad. Neither is the gimp suit he's making me wear. But, sweet lord, I am absolutely ****ing sick of eating frito chili pie! The indigestion is unbearable and jsharr won't give me any Pepcid! Says it's part of my punishment! I don't know how much of this I can take.
Please, for the love of God, if you're reading this send some fruit! I need apples! Or maybe an orange! A banana? C'mon, bananas are cheap you miserly bastards! Oh, and a small tv and a PS3 with a couple games would be cool, too. It gets pretty boring in here.
And do NOT tell jsharr I was here. I don't know if I can handle "the porcupine" again. *sobs quietly*
With Much Love,