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Old 07-28-07, 11:08 AM   #1
ManBearPig
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A DVD got me laid!

So I go out to my mailbox yesterday to get the mail. I subscribe to Blockbustet Total Access. My neighbor is this really hot chick, and she came out at the same time to check mail. Only, she rents from Netflix, so she can't get in-store exchanges. She is wearing this REALLY short skirt and I know if I can only get her on the couch I am home free. The rest will be easy. She mentioned she would really like to see that movie with the Queen in it, and so I bluff a little bit. I said, "you mean this one?" Holding up the DVD with the label facing me so she couldn't see it. She smiles, and says, "my place in a few?" I'm like COOL, this girl is totally hot, and she is wearing a short skirt, so this will be easy. I can't believe my luck because I am dressed like a choad and haven't shaven my face, much less my legs. So anyway, she goes back inside, and I haul ass up to Blockbuster to get the DVD with the queen in it. My bro who works at BB smiled at me, as if to say, "yeah man, Blockbuster will get you LAID." Anyway, thanks to Blockbuster total access, I was able to exchange Alien vs. Predator for the Queen movie, and I ran back to the girl's house, all sweaty and stinky. SCORE. Just think, if I had subscribed to Netflix instead, I would have spent the evening alone...
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Old 07-28-07, 11:15 AM   #2
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Tho' there is something to be said for solitary moments.
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Old 07-28-07, 11:26 AM   #3
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Yeah, I saw that commerical too...




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Old 07-28-07, 11:27 AM   #4
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What a totally original love (making) story!! Was she as good as she looked? Was the movie any good?
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Old 07-28-07, 11:35 AM   #5
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Well, I guess I'm stopping at Blockbuster tonight. I also like to have the sex.
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Old 07-28-07, 11:37 AM   #6
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Pictures or it didn't happen.
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Old 07-28-07, 11:41 AM   #7
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Yeah, I saw that commerical too...
Anyone who has been watching the TdF has seen that commercial at least 30 times.
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Old 07-28-07, 11:46 AM   #8
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I don't have TV.
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Old 07-28-07, 11:53 AM   #9
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I don't have TV.
then you will never get lucky due to your BB total acess account, sorry.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-28-07, 12:25 PM   #10
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then you will never get lucky due to your BB total acess account, sorry.
I lose.
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Old 07-28-07, 12:51 PM   #11
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Alien Vs. Predator? Your taste in movies = ****.
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Old 07-28-07, 01:24 PM   #12
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Old 07-28-07, 01:24 PM   #13
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Anyone who has been watching the TdF has seen that commercial at least 30 times.
That one and the couple who get totally horny putting Scotch brand tape on the walls before painting. I NEVER want to hear that song again
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Old 07-28-07, 02:29 PM   #14
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And the Mitchum commercial. Yeah, I like those bouncy jugs, but not enough to be persuaded to buy that ugly green deoderant stick or even to watch the entire commercial.
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Old 07-28-07, 03:03 PM   #15
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Hmmmm. Never tried that approach ... ... <thinking about the suede shorty I have upstairs ...>
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Old 07-28-07, 03:55 PM   #16
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Same thing happened to me. Except rather than scoring, the chick got me liquored up and I passed out. She must have called some friends to help, because everything in the house is gone! Damn you Total Access!
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Old 07-28-07, 03:59 PM   #17
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Same thing happened to me. Except rather than scoring, the chick got me liquored up and I passed out. She must have called some friends to help, because everything in the house is gone! Damn you Total Access!
Dam! Never tried that approach either! Hmmmmm, bottle of ouzo, 6 pack of PBR's ... SCHWEET!
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Old 07-28-07, 04:37 PM   #18
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Same thing happened to me. Except rather than scoring, the chick got me liquored up and I passed out. She must have called some friends to help, because everything in the house is gone! Damn you Total Access!
You should not have invited her over to watch Risky Business. You planted the idea in her head.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-28-07, 04:50 PM   #19
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Anyone who has been watching the TdF has seen that commercial at least 30 times.
Apparently not anyone with a DVR watching the TdF.
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Old 07-28-07, 05:17 PM   #20
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Alien VS Predator was a disgrace to both franchises. An all out suck fest.

Anyway, anybody who actually counts on movie rentals to get laid really needs to learn some pickup lines. Even just going up to a chick at a bar, putting your arm around her and saying "So, do you like having sex for fun or what?" would be a vastly better idea.
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Old 07-28-07, 05:45 PM   #21
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 07-28-07, 06:44 PM   #22
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I'm more of a fan of "Hi, want to talk about Online gaming? Would you like to see my bandwidth?"
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Old 07-28-07, 07:05 PM   #23
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While I was reading the OP I was thinking "awww, what a load of BS, why doesn't this ever happen to me?"

Of course, we have different ads here.
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Old 07-28-07, 07:05 PM   #24
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Blind squirrel, acorn.
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Old 07-28-07, 07:08 PM   #25
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Satire, my friends. I was being satirical.
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