Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28
  1. #1
    1/2 man,1/2 bear,1/2 pig ManBearPig's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    .
    My Bikes
    .
    Posts
    1,126
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    A DVD got me laid!

    So I go out to my mailbox yesterday to get the mail. I subscribe to Blockbustet Total Access. My neighbor is this really hot chick, and she came out at the same time to check mail. Only, she rents from Netflix, so she can't get in-store exchanges. She is wearing this REALLY short skirt and I know if I can only get her on the couch I am home free. The rest will be easy. She mentioned she would really like to see that movie with the Queen in it, and so I bluff a little bit. I said, "you mean this one?" Holding up the DVD with the label facing me so she couldn't see it. She smiles, and says, "my place in a few?" I'm like COOL, this girl is totally hot, and she is wearing a short skirt, so this will be easy. I can't believe my luck because I am dressed like a choad and haven't shaven my face, much less my legs. So anyway, she goes back inside, and I haul ass up to Blockbuster to get the DVD with the queen in it. My bro who works at BB smiled at me, as if to say, "yeah man, Blockbuster will get you LAID." Anyway, thanks to Blockbuster total access, I was able to exchange Alien vs. Predator for the Queen movie, and I ran back to the girl's house, all sweaty and stinky. SCORE. Just think, if I had subscribed to Netflix instead, I would have spent the evening alone...
    ...

  2. #2
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    9,163
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)


    Tho' there is something to be said for solitary moments.

  3. #3
    The Guadfather Lecterman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Fart Worth
    My Bikes
    Trek, Centurion, Kuwahara coming soon
    Posts
    1,090
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Yeah, I saw that commerical too...




    ...Plagiarist
    Are you a registered member? Why not? click here to register. Its free, and only takes 27 seconds!
    Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    "Minor bun engine, made Benny Lava!!!"

  4. #4
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Eugene, OR
    My Bikes
    Road, touring and mountain
    Posts
    3,760
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    What a totally original love (making) story!! Was she as good as she looked? Was the movie any good?
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

  5. #5
    is as Gurgus does. Gurgus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Otisburg
    My Bikes
    A whole bunch o' bikes.
    Posts
    910
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Well, I guess I'm stopping at Blockbuster tonight. I also like to have the sex.

  6. #6
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Webster, NY
    My Bikes
    1967 Peugeot UO-8, 1984 Torpado Beta, 1985 Trek 300, 1989 Dave Moulton Fuso FRX, '90s Hardrock x2, '90s Norco Pinnacle, Focus MB-350 IRO SSFGGB
    Posts
    254
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Pictures or it didn't happen.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    345
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Lecterman View Post
    Yeah, I saw that commerical too...
    Anyone who has been watching the TdF has seen that commercial at least 30 times.

  8. #8
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Webster, NY
    My Bikes
    1967 Peugeot UO-8, 1984 Torpado Beta, 1985 Trek 300, 1989 Dave Moulton Fuso FRX, '90s Hardrock x2, '90s Norco Pinnacle, Focus MB-350 IRO SSFGGB
    Posts
    254
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I don't have TV.

  9. #9
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,084
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by polara426sh View Post
    I don't have TV.
    then you will never get lucky due to your BB total acess account, sorry.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  10. #10
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Webster, NY
    My Bikes
    1967 Peugeot UO-8, 1984 Torpado Beta, 1985 Trek 300, 1989 Dave Moulton Fuso FRX, '90s Hardrock x2, '90s Norco Pinnacle, Focus MB-350 IRO SSFGGB
    Posts
    254
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    then you will never get lucky due to your BB total acess account, sorry.
    I lose.

  11. #11
    ಠ_ಠ DevilsGT2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    SF
    My Bikes
    One of the first Aluminum Rockhoppers to come with front suspension.
    Posts
    624
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Alien Vs. Predator? Your taste in movies = ****.
    Singletrack Mind

  12. #12
    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Woodstock
    Posts
    5,761
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

  13. #13
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Eugene, OR
    My Bikes
    Road, touring and mountain
    Posts
    3,760
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Randomus View Post
    Anyone who has been watching the TdF has seen that commercial at least 30 times.
    That one and the couple who get totally horny putting Scotch brand tape on the walls before painting. I NEVER want to hear that song again
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

  14. #14
    1/2 man,1/2 bear,1/2 pig ManBearPig's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    .
    My Bikes
    .
    Posts
    1,126
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    And the Mitchum commercial. Yeah, I like those bouncy jugs, but not enough to be persuaded to buy that ugly green deoderant stick or even to watch the entire commercial.
    ...

  15. #15
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    My Bikes
    Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
    Posts
    1,183
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Hmmmm. Never tried that approach ... ... <thinking about the suede shorty I have upstairs ...>

  16. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Floriduh
    Posts
    54
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Same thing happened to me. Except rather than scoring, the chick got me liquored up and I passed out. She must have called some friends to help, because everything in the house is gone! Damn you Total Access!

  17. #17
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    My Bikes
    Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
    Posts
    1,183
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by 01GTB View Post
    Same thing happened to me. Except rather than scoring, the chick got me liquored up and I passed out. She must have called some friends to help, because everything in the house is gone! Damn you Total Access!
    Dam! Never tried that approach either! Hmmmmm, bottle of ouzo, 6 pack of PBR's ... SCHWEET!

  18. #18
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,084
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by 01GTB View Post
    Same thing happened to me. Except rather than scoring, the chick got me liquored up and I passed out. She must have called some friends to help, because everything in the house is gone! Damn you Total Access!
    You should not have invited her over to watch Risky Business. You planted the idea in her head.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  19. #19
    Banned.
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Home alone
    My Bikes
    Trek 4300 X 2. Trek 1000, Trek 6000
    Posts
    6,021
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Randomus View Post
    Anyone who has been watching the TdF has seen that commercial at least 30 times.
    Apparently not anyone with a DVR watching the TdF.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    My Bikes
    Giant ATX 1200, Schwinn Peleton
    Posts
    1,727
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Alien VS Predator was a disgrace to both franchises. An all out suck fest.

    Anyway, anybody who actually counts on movie rentals to get laid really needs to learn some pickup lines. Even just going up to a chick at a bar, putting your arm around her and saying "So, do you like having sex for fun or what?" would be a vastly better idea.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  21. #21
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
    My Bikes
    Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
    Posts
    3,928
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Cookies
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  22. #22
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    St. Petersburg, FL
    My Bikes
    2004 Raleigh Talus, 2001 Motobecane Vent Noir (Custom build for heavy riders)
    Posts
    5,825
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'm more of a fan of "Hi, want to talk about Online gaming? Would you like to see my bandwidth?"
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  23. #23
    CRIKEY!!!!!!! Cyclaholic's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    My Bikes
    several
    Posts
    4,206
    Mentioned
    25 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    While I was reading the OP I was thinking "awww, what a load of BS, why doesn't this ever happen to me?"

    Of course, we have different ads here.
    There are 10 types of people in the world - the ones that can count in base 2, the ones that can't count in base 2, and the ones that didn't expect this to be in base 3.

  24. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Flatland NC
    My Bikes
    Cervelo P2C, 1982 Univega, Moto Messenger
    Posts
    253
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Blind squirrel, acorn.

  25. #25
    1/2 man,1/2 bear,1/2 pig ManBearPig's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    .
    My Bikes
    .
    Posts
    1,126
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Satire, my friends. I was being satirical.
    ...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •