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  1. #1
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Why put one on when you can Spray it on. Yes folks - it's condom spray

    (giving credit to a thread over in backpackers.com for this link)

    http://channels.isp.netscape.com/wha...2&floc=NI-ntk2

    Safe sex may be easier when a radically different type of condom hits the market in 2008 or so. German sex educators, led by Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, have invented a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.
    Here are two bizarre side effects of taking birth control pills. These aren't life-threatening, they're just weird!

    "We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," Krause told Reuters in an interview. "We're very serious." He said the product's goal is to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives. The condom will come in a spray can into which the man inserts his penis. He then pushes a button and it is covered in a rubber condom. "It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he explained to Reuters. "We call it the '360 degree procedure'--once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."

    Is this popular drink that you have your kitchen right now the female Viagra? It works in rats. Will it work in humans, too?

    The plan is that the condom will be ready in five seconds and will function more effectively than traditional condoms on the market today because they will fit better and won't slip. But before the product can be sold, the team must first make sure the latex is evenly spread when sprayed. Krause's plan is to hit the market by 2008 with this high-tech condom that will be available in different strengths and colors.

    _____________________

    I just can't imagine the conversations that could happen upon newbie usage.


  2. #2
    Climbing Above It All BikeWNC's Avatar
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    Different strengths. Ha. Like from dead fish to raging bull strength.

  3. #3
    Climbing Above It All BikeWNC's Avatar
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    Or why pay for the 30 minute strength when you only need the 30 second variety.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Mr. Gear Jammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikeWNC View Post
    Different strengths. Ha. Like from dead fish to raging bull strength.
    LOL and old man love.
    Tropical pole vaulting is the shiznit.

  5. #5
    Climbing Above It All BikeWNC's Avatar
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    What if all you need is the can? Where does that leave the woman? Was it good for you too?

  6. #6
    Senior Member Mr. Gear Jammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikeWNC View Post
    What if all you need is the can? Where does that leave the woman? Was it good for you too?
    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap.
    Tropical pole vaulting is the shiznit.

  7. #7
    Climbing Above It All BikeWNC's Avatar
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    I can see it now, guys everywhere have a Pavlov reaction everytime a spray can get shaken.

    I just find this soo funny.

  8. #8
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikeWNC View Post
    I can see it now, guys everywhere have a Pavlov reaction everytime a spray can get shaken.

    I just find this soo funny.
    hehe, I'm thinking of the guys who are trying really really hard to spray their graffiti - and, and ...

  9. #9
    But on the road more MTBLover's Avatar
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    Does it come in a ribbed variety? Flavored? Spermicidal? Reservoir end? OK- I'll stop there. Crazy Germans- what will they think of next? Heh- the very idea of an "Institute for Condom Consultancy" Who are "consulting" with? Is that what that call it now?

  10. #10
    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    Great, just what my life was missing: deadly allergen in an aerosol version.
    "Real wars of words are harder to win. They require thought, insight, precision, articulation, knowledge, and experience. They require the humility to admit when you are wrong. They recognize that the dialectic is not about making us look at you, but about us all looking together for the truth."

  11. #11
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    I wonder if Jon could use it on his face?









    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  12. #12
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by donnamb View Post
    Great, just what my life was missing: deadly allergen in an aerosol version.
    but think about it ...

    (as I posted on the other forum)

    Excuse me people, can I get some quite time here? Stereo - on, mood music - perfect. Wine, uncorked - perrrfect......

    <ERRRRT>


    Excuse me my sweets while I, psssssssssssssssst, dam I missed.

    psssssssssssssssssssst

    Can't seem to get that nozzle straight!

    pssssssssssssssssssssst

    hmmmm, glued to my leg, this can't be good.

    Now where is that pry bar.

  13. #13
    Climbing Above It All BikeWNC's Avatar
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    Do you think it will be a single use can? Will we bombarded with safe sex ads about not sharing cans?

    What if the gas in the can feels cold to the skin? Oops.

  14. #14
    But on the road more MTBLover's Avatar
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    ^^^ and what about the CFEs and stuff emitted into the air? Don't we have enough global warming already? Maybe they should re-think this as a non-aerosol spray... Or maybe a brush-on version. Oh- wait- these already exist! Ok- we're covered now.

  15. #15
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MTBLover View Post
    ^^^ and what about the CFEs and stuff emitted into the air? Don't we have enough global warming already? Maybe they should re-think this as a non-aerosol spray... Or maybe a brush-on version. Oh- wait- these already exist! Ok- we're covered now.
    Death by CFE's from a condom can ----- priceless.

  16. #16
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    I note the description only describes putting it on, not taking it off.
    They told me to wear more lycra, and I said "no, no, no."

  17. #17
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    I wonder if Jon could use it on his face?
    Depends on whether or not his head will fit in the can.

    Go ahead, I've teed that one up for you, now make your own jokes...
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

  18. #18
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krink View Post
    I notice the description only describes putting it on, not taking it off.
    Eeeeeesny weeeny (no pun intended) tiny lettering on the side of the can ...

    Suggested removal, use only as recommended.


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tude View Post
    Eeeeeesny weeeny (no pun intended) tiny lettering on the side of the can ...

    Suggested removal, use only as recommended.

    Just what I suspected. Fine German engineering.
    They told me to wear more lycra, and I said "no, no, no."

  20. #20
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tude View Post
    Excuse me my sweets while I, psssssssssssssssst, dam I missed.

    psssssssssssssssssssst

    Can't seem to get that nozzle straight!

    pssssssssssssssssssssst

    hmmmm, glued to my leg, this can't be good.

    Now where is that pry bar.
    I don't know how to put this delicately, but... I imagine it would be pretty difficult to remove if there was a misfire and the spray coated the adjacent hair. Time for the clippers - better not miss with those!
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

  21. #21
    cab horn
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikeWNC View Post
    Different strengths. Ha. Like from dead fish to raging bull strength.
    lmao.
    Mes compaingnons cui j'amoie et cui j'aim,... Me di, chanson.

  22. #22
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tude View Post
    Eeeeeesny weeeny (no pun intended) tiny lettering on the side of the can ...

    Suggested removal, use only as recommended.

    Nah. It also can be chewed (nibbled) off.
    You're just trying to start an argument to show how smart you are.

  23. #23
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HigherGround View Post
    I don't know how to put this delicately, but... I imagine it would be pretty difficult to remove if there was a misfire and the spray coated the adjacent hair. Time for the clippers - better not miss with those!


    BWAHAHAH, you're thinking of the "mechanics" of the whole thing - concept people!!! Concept!!!

    hehe



    If anyone ever came to me with a can in hand, hehe, that would be a big ole NO!

  24. #24
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    Just imagine storing it next to this, and grabbing the wrong can in the dark.



    Edit: "Meet my new friend, Mr. Harry Johnson!"
    Last edited by HigherGround; 07-29-07 at 09:25 PM. Reason: New and improved with more low-brow humor!
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

  25. #25
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    I wonder... If you wanted to play a practical joke on a co-worker, how many cans would it take to encapsulate their desk... their car...themselves while they sleep at work...?
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

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