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  1. #1
    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
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    Hmm. What to do?

    So when i was in 2nd grade i did something (i don't remember what) that made the bus driver put me in the front seat with the other trouble makers. That's where i met my friend "bob". I had just moved to the town that previous summer and didn't know anyone and Bob told me that his dad was a firefighter and i thought that was pretty...tits.

    So he let me come over and check out his dads turnout gear...thus starting the longest friendship of my life to date. We hung out all the time, i became a part of the family which was good for me as mine was as dysfunctional as they come. They took me on family trips, had me over for many dinners and family gatherings and one year called me over to yell at me for a mess in the garage, when we went in there i got yelled at for a scratch on a new bike...turns out it was a trick and they just decided to buy me a bike for christmas.

    I'm older then him by a year and much more outgoing and confident and as such he always was kind of following me socially i'd say...to an extent. When i bought inline skates, he did a week later (better then mine), when i bought a paintball *** he did a month later (better then mine). It didn't mind me at all, i felt i was expanding his horizons (even though his **** was always better then mine ).

    Everything was pretty normal up until 8th grade. Ghost in the graveyard at night in the summer, picking on his sister together, playing video games and basketball. Then i went to highschool and suddenly saw a little less of him. This was especially true after i met my girlfriend midway through the year. I hardly saw him. It wasn't entirely my fault though, he was busy as well. I just kind of figured when he got to highschool things would return to normal. They really didn't, especially because he moved across town so it was especially harder to hang out.

    We kinda drifted, i was busy with football and my girlfriend and a different group of friends and he the same. This sort of thing is to be expected, it's life.

    Then i went off to school, he stayed behind to study fire science and got a job on the local department. It didn't surprise me at all but i also didn't think he wanted to do it (you have to understand the relationship with is father, which is a whole other issue but it certainly is responsible in my opinion for his confidence).

    So i'm off at school, he's becoming johnny fire fighting bravo...great. He comes and visits a few times and i think he has fun but it's just not the same, we're kind of awkward around each other (in a non-gay way). Still, it doesn't bother me, it's life and **** happens.

    But this year...i've tried to call him frequently. When i was home for spring break i found out that he had moved into his grandparents house while they were down in Florida (Which they do for months at a time). I called him and wanted to hang out with him, never called me back. I thought it was odd but had to get back to school and didn't think about it too much.

    So now i'm here for the summer and have been trying to get hold of him. I finally talked to his mom, she wanted me to come over and fix her computer...groovy. I come to find out that he left the fire department because he's not sure if he wants to do that. He shows up with a new girlfriend and says hi, then wanted to go upstairs and watch a movie with her (while i have the chance, he could do much better...but hey more power too him). We talked him into playing some cards with us, he had to go to bed, so did i...the night ended. We were suppose to talk again but he doesn't return my phone calls.

    His birthday is this Sunday, he'll be 21. I don't want to blow him off, but if he's done being my friend then i'm fine with that. I don't waste my time on people who don't care to be around me. I kinda feel like he thinks i just ditched him when in reality i've just gone to school and am doing what i need to do.

    I could talk to him about it, but i know what he'd say...again, lacking any confidence i think he'd probably just act like there was nothing wrong. I could talk to his mom, but we're big kids now...

  2. #2
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Being friends with someone can sometimes be challenging. I stay in touch with some on a regular basis, and have lost any connection with my all time gurlfriend from high school - we shared everything. I miss her a lot - and have no way at all of finding her. Think about her - hope she's doing good.

    Give it a try. And if there's no return, then move that friend down to the acquaintance list I guess.

  3. #3
    ಠ_ಠ DevilsGT2's Avatar
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    I always find it odd whenever I hang out with people from different phases of my life. I've come to realize that the friends I had were perfect for that time, but times change and people change. I wouldn't alienate him, but I also wouldn't expect your relationship to be as close as it was before.
    Singletrack Mind

  4. #4
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    BF user Miataspeed was my best friend from the time I was 5 until I was 12 or so. Nowadays for a reason unknown to me he wants absolutely nothing to do with me. What the **** ever. There are many other people that I know. If someone doesn't want to be your friend anymore, you can't look at it as a loss.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
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  5. #5
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    timmy, I couldn't read your whole post.

    Your inane use of the word "tits" is full on ********.

    Again, is this what they are teaching you at Hawkeye Polytech? You're getting ripped off.

  6. #6
    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michigander View Post
    BF user Miataspeed was my best friend from the time I was 5 until I was 12 or so. Nowadays for a reason unknown to me he wants absolutely nothing to do with me. What the **** ever. There are many other people that I know. If someone doesn't want to be your friend anymore, you can't look at it as a loss.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...awkward+turtle


    Quote Originally Posted by CyLowe97 View Post
    timmy, I couldn't read your whole post.

    Your inane use of the word "tits" is full on ********.

    Again, is this what they are teaching you at Hawkeye Polytech? You're getting ripped off.

    It was kind of an inside joke...

  7. #7
    not riding enough
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    I had a similar situation with my best friend. We were best friends all through junior high and into college. After a few years in college, he started having issues, and ended up flunking out. We were always competitive with each other. After a while we lost touch for quite some time. He had a lot of troubles, including family and substance abuse. We've since patched up our friendship, and we talk some here and there. But, our friendship isn't like it was when we were growing up. Too many things have changed. I'll help him out in any way I can in the future.

    My suggestion is just try to be a good friend to him when you can. Never know, he might eventually need someone to talk to about whatever is going on in his head. Sometimes it's very difficult to deal with personal things, especially if you've not ever figured out where you should be headed in life. He's probably in a rut and doesn't know where to go. Just try to be helpful to him if you can. If he blows you off, his loss. He'll eventually figure that out.

  8. #8
    Junior Member kaiserb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by timmyquest View Post
    His birthday is this Sunday, he'll be 21. I don't want to blow him off, but if he's done being my friend then i'm fine with that. I don't waste my time on people who don't care to be around me. I kinda feel like he thinks i just ditched him when in reality i've just gone to school and am doing what i need to do.

    I could talk to him about it, but i know what he'd say...again, lacking any confidence i think he'd probably just act like there was nothing wrong. I could talk to his mom, but we're big kids now...

    Life is lived over very long periods of time...seasons are short. I would call and wish him a happy Bday, and leave it at that... who knows he may show up around your 30th Bday and say sorry.

  9. #9
    Senior Member bgilchrist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaiserb View Post
    Life is lived over very long periods of time...seasons are short. I would call and wish him a happy Bday, and leave it at that... who knows he may show up around your 30th Bday and say sorry.
    what's the saying? Friends come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime? I can't imagine having anything in common with the friends I had in school ( I'm 36). My current closest friends I have known for 10 yrs.

    On the other had, I am closer now with some people I went to school with than I was when I was in school.

    I'd call or even send a card and leave it. Friendship is a two-way street, if one person is doing all the work , you have to ask yourself if it is worth it.

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