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  1. #1
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
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    How much disrespect should I tolerate?

    Things have really gone down the tubes at work this week. For a reason unknown to me, I am not only reporting to one person, the production engineer. All work that I do goes through him, and he assigns work and the order it is to be done. In a matter of one day, all of my independence was taken from me. But worse of all, this guy is just plain unpleasant.
    He is supposed to be training me in the clean room, which he has never done. I don't see any plans to either, yet another engineer had something planned for me shortly before this new system took over. I feel like this guy never wants to give out too much information to me, like he always wants the upper hand.
    But he is just plain rude. He treats me to no professionalism whatsoever. If I do something he doesn't agree with, he'll give me this crap about be being hte new boss and I what he says is not an option. Yet everybody else will politely tell me if I am doing something wrong. This guy is just very abrupt, and I just don't think I should have to deal with it, especially if he is now my one and only boss.
    This guy is 23, just graduated college, and I think he is flexing his muscle to prove himself or something. Either way, I am not enjoying working for this guy, and I believe I deserve to be treated with more respect than what I am getting. This guy treats me like I am a fool, and I am most certainly not.

    So I was going to talk to HR about this, but I am not sure how. First, is this an appropriate thing to discuss with HR? This is a small company, and the president is...
    a. detached from what goes on in the office.
    b. swamped with projects. We are short handed in engineers, so he is filling in. But he has been working 12-13 hour days trying to keep up, and I honestly feel bad for him. I don't think it's fair to ask him to deal with this.

    And secondly, how should I approach HR about this?
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  2. #2
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
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    My personal take on this though is that I shouldn't tolerate any crap like this. I'm 18, I don't have a family to support, and don't have a lot to lose. So as far as I am concerned, I am starting to look for another job. I'm not looking full speed ahead, but I am scoping out other opportunities. If I do find something that can match my pay, offer flexible hours for school, and be at least moderately interesting, I will have to give the president an ultimatum. That is, either things need to change and go back to what they were (with slight modifications, but I will no longer be micromanaged by htis *******), or I am leaving.
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  3. #3
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Coffee + hydroflouric acid = problem solved.

  4. #4
    Senior Member bobbyahines's Avatar
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    HR will only refer you back to the new boss. The proper business way to deal with this situation is to request a meeting with the new boss, explain that you feel you and he have a communication issue and request is help in understanding his communication style so that you can better meet his needs and expectations. Express that you want to do well for him and if he could help by x, y, and z, you would be diligent in trying to employee the idea. If that fails, you submit the request in writing: We talked, still not working, please help. If that fails, then you move up the chain to a supervisor above him and request they mediate to resolve the communication error (or simply request to be transferred under someone else) verbally, then in writing. When that fails, then you take it to HR and they'll actually listen.
    Mechanic/Service Manager for Hello Bicycle.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Indyv8a's Avatar
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    Sounds like the company is a clusterfark. No one has a handle on the human element, even if they are competent engineers. I would guess, feeling the anger in your post, and the previous snafus, another company will make you happier. Sometimes it just doesn't work.

    During an interview, I'd say just that. "The organization and I did not meet each others needs. I decided it would be best for me to seek a similar position in a new company." Just don't carry the anger with you to a new interview. Calling your previous boss a penis, or ripping the company just makes you seem bitter, and who would want you to work for them if you're bitter and angry?
    Slow, but at least still moving...

  6. #6
    Senior Member pmseattle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phantomcow2 View Post
    My personal take on this though is that I shouldn't tolerate any crap like this. I'm 18, I don't have a family to support, and don't have a lot to lose. So as far as I am concerned, I am starting to look for another job. I'm not looking full speed ahead, but I am scoping out other opportunities. If I do find something that can match my pay, offer flexible hours for school, and be at least moderately interesting, I will have to give the president an ultimatum. That is, either things need to change and go back to what they were (with slight modifications, but I will no longer be micromanaged by htis *******), or I am leaving.
    I wouldn't give anybody an ultimatum. If it is unpleasant where you work, find another job, politely give notice, and depart.
    So the person giving you a hard time is a new graduate ? It is very common for someone in that position to be a petty tyrant.

  7. #7
    How much does it weigh? prendrefeu's Avatar
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    watch/rent/view "Office Space" tonight.
    Weight weenies keep it light.

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  8. #8
    370H-SSV-0773H linux_author's Avatar
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    sorry you're going through this Mr. B, but this is called 'life' and it sucks...

    fortunately for me, i only ran into this problem once in my life... had to deal with two knuckleheads in my 'chain-of-command' at the same time! (my other subsequent bosses were *awesome*, such as the one who, upon learning of the 2nd wife unit's 18-months of infidelity, immediately took me to Archibalds for beers and burgers in Washington, DC, and to see how Georgetown coeds earned a semester's tuition in a single week while spinning around a brass pole)...

    :-)

    if the company is not responsive to your needs or you feel you're getting the short end, go somewhere else... the firm doesn't deserve your talent and dedication...

    or you could just suck it up and try to work the problem...

    btw, i would, in the interim, recommend renting the movie "Office Spaces"... it may make you feel better...

  9. #9
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
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    Well, I was enjoying it up until just yesterday. Somehow this guy got it worked out so he handles everything about my day. If people want stuff done, they are no longer supposed to go to me, instead they go to this guy and he dishes it out. I cannot name one other person in this company of 60 employees who acts like this, not one. THe production manager and I get along, even though we don't necessarily see eye to eye. She is professional to me when she needs something or I screwed up, and I return the favor.
    Things were actually starting to really click between me and the company. THe production workers are just starting to understand me, have confidence in me, and seeking me all by themselves for assistance with a problem. It's a thing where the production manager has no confidence in me, she'll never seek me. But the production STAFF will. I get along exceptionally well with the other engineers and sales guy (shares my cubicle). Another engineer was setting up a plan so I could at last be trained for the clean room, this was making hte production manager very happy. But all that is out the window, and it just seems like this guy is preventing me doing that.
    It just bothers me that things were really starting to click, things were really getting somewhere. Other engineers even commented that I was doing great. All the sudden, **** just hits the fan.
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  10. #10
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmseattle View Post
    I wouldn't give anybody an ultimatum. If it is unpleasant where you work, find another job, politely give notice, and depart.
    So the person giving you a hard time is a new graduate ? It is very common for someone in that position to be a petty tyrant.
    This is his first job out of college
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  11. #11
    Senior Member randya's Avatar
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    WARNING: get out of engineering now, before it's too late!

  12. #12
    Overacting because I can SpongeDad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmseattle View Post
    I wouldn't give anybody an ultimatum. If it is unpleasant where you work, find another job, politely give notice, and depart.
    So the person giving you a hard time is a new graduate ? It is very common for someone in that position to be a petty tyrant.
    I agree. If an 18 yr old gave me an ultimatum, I'd fire them on principle.

    Also, as an 18yr old the odds that you'll win, even if you're in the right, vs a full time employee are pretty small, so I'd go with the polite departure.

    Finally, you're 18 - at 18 I was cleaning up vomit and dirty bathrooms. You're job ain't that bad.
    “Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." (Churchill)

    "I am a courageous cyclist." (SpongeDad)

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    The guy is 23 years old and he's commanding around in the company? No disrespect to the young geniuses on here, but this seems kind of weird. This normally only happens with very few "old establishments". How do the other people feel about him?

    I'd say continue there and see what you can learn from the others. Can you still go on the training that the others have arranged for you, or is your new boss literally blocking that? If you lay out the training plan with the boss while others are present, he may react differently.

    If you do decide to leave, do so in good terms. So far this seems to be just a verbal event between the two of you. To others, it's really just your words against his.

  14. #14
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Dood, what you do is step up to him close, in a private area and grab a handful of scrote, squeeze and twist. When you are sure you have his undivided attention you tell him exactly what you've told us. Seething, through your teeth and extra twists on the old grape bag for emphasis. When you've had your say. Ask him if he understands everything you've just said and ask him if he has any questions.

    When you are comfortable that he's crystal on this shove his arse in a hopper stall and whiz all over him, just for dramatic effect. Guarenteed, you'll have no more problems from this bully.

    If confronted on the situation, hust remember... Deny everything!

  15. #15
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    you are too young to always post about drama in your life!!!
    live it up a little kiddo!

  16. #16
    Senior Member Miguelangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbyahines View Post
    HR will only refer you back to the new boss. The proper business way to deal with this situation is to request a meeting with the new boss, explain that you feel you and he have a communication issue and request is help in understanding his communication style so that you can better meet his needs and expectations. Express that you want to do well for him and if he could help by x, y, and z, you would be diligent in trying to employee the idea. If that fails, you submit the request in writing: We talked, still not working, please help. If that fails, then you move up the chain to a supervisor above him and request they mediate to resolve the communication error (or simply request to be transferred under someone else) verbally, then in writing. When that fails, then you take it to HR and they'll actually listen.
    +1
    But several thoughts:
    Whatever you decide to do, make sure you want to follow that path till the end with all its consequences.
    The decision of what action to take must come after a good well thought out analisys of where you are, what you want and where would you like to be. This as****les come into our life not only to make it miserable but also to push us to make decisions we might be putting off to make. In the long run I have found out I am thankfull of their arrival, it makes me do reality checks and learn of how not to treat others.
    Shlould you decide to take the HR path I agree with Bobby and follow those steps, record every conversation and every action you take. Yes, make a file.
    Depending on your level of maliciousness many experienced employees take these out of school new "I want to prove to the world I'm great" managers on amazing employee/management conflict rides that actually assures them of retirement money through a well thought out plan and made up case of (maybe )harrasment.
    I have been lucky going up the corporate ladder and now I only report only to the big boss, but nevertheless I have to always keep an eye out for all managers I perceive are walking lawsuits!!! Maybe your AS**LE is one of them...And you know what to do when life gives you lemons....
    Stay cool headed and smart out the competition

  17. #17
    Senior Member Miguelangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl View Post
    you are too young to always post about drama in your life!!!
    live it up a little kiddo!
    +!000000000000000

  18. #18
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
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    Well, I think I will ask the HR lady to talk tomorrow. Part of the problem at this company is that everybody is very young. Even the president is in his mid 30's. The HR lady is one of hte oldest though, in her 40's. She has a daughter who works at the company. I think she will be easy to talk to, and we get along well as it is. THis guy I have an issue with is most certainly thinking "I need to flex these muscles and prove myself". I had that feeling from the first week.
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  19. #19
    J E R S E Y S B E S T Jerseysbest's Avatar
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    Simmer down man, a job at this point in your life means nothing.

    I've had a job like this, you just got to ignore and chug away, and grow apathetic, all the while you look for a new job, or just stick it out till school starts

    And before you quit, remember how nice it is to get that paycheck even if you really don't need it.
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    Cheating: a symptom of the problem.

  20. #20
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
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    Well, if I can at least figure out a way to convince the president that this is making me LESS efficient (which it is), I should be back to liking this job again.
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  21. #21
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    How much disrespect? None, unless it's just on the job ****ing around with co workers.

    I had a job like that for a long time until I got fired. Getting fired from that job was the best thing that ever happened to me job wise. Quit now, and you'll be ahead of the game. I've said it before, the company you are with is run incredibly poorly. If you leave now, I sincerely doubt you'll regret it. What I would do is leave on the best terms possible, politely and truthfully explaining why you are leaving. That way, if a potential future employer calls them up, they won't have bad things to say.
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  22. #22
    Crawlin' up, flyin' down bikingshearer's Avatar
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    The guy may also just be a jerk. They do exist, and have a nasty habit of finding positions in middle management. (No, I am not saying that all of middle management are jerks.)

    Unlike giving people at work grief because of their race, religions, gender or age, giving them grief because the giver is a Grade-A @$$hole is not unlawful and it does not give you any leverage, legally speaking. And as a brand-new, wet-behind the ears 18 year old employee (sorry, yoiu have to assume that is how they see you), unless the onwer of the company is your parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, you have pretty much zero leverage.

    The only way that isn't tgrue is if the powers that be already know thie guy is a jerk and want an excuse to fire him. But you cannot assume that is the case. In the structure you describe, the head guy just wants to tunr product around - he doesn't have time (or the inclination, it sounds like) to deal with this kind of shiznit. Net result - assume you have zero leverage.

    Thus, I agree that the solution is to suck it up while you look for another job. Do not under any circumstances burn your bridges where you are - you will need recommendations from these folks, at least for a while. Be prfessional, even if your boss isn't. He may not deserve it, but it will help you in the long run.
    "I'm in shape -- round is a shape." Andy Rooney

  23. #23
    Senior Member
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    Once you've spoken with the HR, no matter how informal, you can't turn back. You also can't make those comments about the guy to the HR because that'll flag you as being already biased. The more you complain like that to HR/coworkers/president, the less your words will weigh.

    I still recommend that you try to handle this on your own first, either being just you two, or in the presence of other coworkers if the boss is the wimpy type. Also, try to keep calm throughout the whole process. Chances are you'll bump into others like him later on, and this is your chance to learn while your opponent is still a young pup.

    Parallel to that, you also have a bunch of coworkers that have made plans to teach you things. Try to learn as much as you can from them.

    Good luck!

  24. #24
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
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    Yea, I guess your right in that once I've made a comment, I can't turn back.
    Before I was hired, they told me I would get a raise after a month if they liked me. Well a month passed, I have not been fired, but I never got a raise. SO I will inquire about that, and then if this comes up, then its out.
    C://dos
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  25. #25
    2-Cyl, 1/2 HP @ 90 RPM slvoid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
    Coffee + hydroflouric acid = problem solved.
    Thanks for filling in for me while I was gone.

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