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  1. #1
    Bruise collector Blais's Avatar
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    Ah, the food forum.

    I made pizzas last night with mozzarella Tofutti and Thomas' bagel bread. Freaking awesome. I would suggest it to anyone but make sure you bake it instead of the microwave, otherwise they get soggy.

    No really though. I'm moving out of my apartment soon to get the $#%* away from a toolbox-roommate and I'm wondering if I should be nice until I move out or crap in his chocolate milk. We used to get along fine and actually had a lot in common. Then he decided to pick on my little brother and routinely piss-off my girlfriend. At this point, civility is a hard thing to muster when he's around and I'm ready to lay down a hurting like it's going out of style. I almost feel silly about being vindictive but then I remember that I'm *&^%ing pissed-off beyond civility and want to *^&$ing $^&*# all over his &*^%ing pathetic @#%^-landscape that is his *#@&ing life. Stupid self-righteous, holier-than-thou, $#^@!! GAH! *&$%#^@

    /vent

    Thank you for your time.
    Quote Originally Posted by ThunderChunky View Post
    i think hotbike made that piece of ****.

  2. #2
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
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    Don't put nair in his shampoo, that wouldn't be very nice.

  3. #3
    coffeeeeee p4nh4ndle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blais View Post
    ...crap in his chocolate milk...
    get's my vote. Or sleep with his mom.... w/ pictures

  4. #4
    Kicked out of the Webelos bluebottle1's Avatar
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    And putting Icy Hot in his underwear would be really rude, too. Just sayin' is all....
    ______________________________________________

    Kicked out of the Webelos.

  5. #5
    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    Wow, you guys are highly creative.
    "Real wars of words are harder to win. They require thought, insight, precision, articulation, knowledge, and experience. They require the humility to admit when you are wrong. They recognize that the dialectic is not about making us look at you, but about us all looking together for the truth."

  6. #6
    Kicked out of the Webelos bluebottle1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by donnamb View Post
    Wow, you guys are highly creative.
    Gotta do something to keep myself entertained when things are slow at work.
    ______________________________________________

    Kicked out of the Webelos.

  7. #7
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
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    Finding creative ways to smite my tormentors is a hobby of mine.

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Did not realize we roomed togehter Blais, but you described me to a T, so it must be me. BTW, I knew the chocolate milk tasted a bit off, but I was thirsty, oh, and you are low on potassium and may have some polyps forming. I would get that checked out.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluebottle1 View Post
    Gotta do something to keep myself entertained when things are slow at work.
    Quote Originally Posted by polara426sh View Post
    Finding creative ways to smite my tormentors is a hobby of mine.
    Do you offer formal consultations?
    "Real wars of words are harder to win. They require thought, insight, precision, articulation, knowledge, and experience. They require the humility to admit when you are wrong. They recognize that the dialectic is not about making us look at you, but about us all looking together for the truth."

  10. #10
    Kicked out of the Webelos bluebottle1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by donnamb View Post
    Do you offer formal consultations?
    Absolutely, for a reasonable fee.
    ______________________________________________

    Kicked out of the Webelos.

  11. #11
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by donnamb View Post
    Do you offer formal consultations?
    Of course.


  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    Did not realize we roomed togehter Blais, but you described me to a T, so it must be me. BTW, I knew the chocolate milk tasted a bit off, but I was thirsty, oh, and you are low on potassium and may have some polyps forming. I would get that checked out.
    Jsharr: hahahahahahaha

  13. #13
    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluebottle1 View Post
    Absolutely, for a reasonable fee.
    Quote Originally Posted by polara426sh View Post
    Of course.
    For back issues of Mental Floss?
    "Real wars of words are harder to win. They require thought, insight, precision, articulation, knowledge, and experience. They require the humility to admit when you are wrong. They recognize that the dialectic is not about making us look at you, but about us all looking together for the truth."

  14. #14
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by donnamb View Post
    For back issues of Mental Floss?
    Sure.

  15. #15
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Merton? Is that you?
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  16. #16
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    How about exlax in his chocolate milk?
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  17. #17
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    Made some stir fry with the left over vegetables in my fridge since they've been in there for a while and I was afraid they'd go bad. Put at least 7 cloves of garlic in there and who knows how much crushed chili. I can press my nose to my skin and smell garlic. I love that smell.

    Don't go for revenge. It's childish and a sign of weakness. Life will take care of this slob better than you could.

  18. #18
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Do not Pedigree beef stew in a microwave container in the fridge as it may be mistaken for the real stuff, ya know.



    Ex husband used to stop at the house (B4 locks changed) and routinely eat what was in fridge - and then had the big brass ones to comment on how little food I had and how he had this and that and blah blah blah.

    Did you know that Pedigree beef stew has peas and carrots in it and when heated, smells like the real deal?



    He had some.

  19. #19
    Kicked out of the Webelos bluebottle1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pino pomo View Post
    Don't go for revenge. It's childish and a sign of weakness. Life will take care of this slob better than you could.
    Well, yeah. But then you won't be around to see it, will you?
    ______________________________________________

    Kicked out of the Webelos.

  20. #20
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Some Dave's Insanity Sauce rubbed on the nose pads of his glasses... Provided he wears glasses, that is.

  21. #21
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by donnamb View Post
    Wow, you guys are highly creative.
    phenophthalene added to his food (active ingredient in ExLax, easier to cover the taste)
    Trypan blue in his coffee (turns your pee bright blue)
    Rit dye in his shower head (activates when the water gets hot, dyes him fun colours)
    Vaseline the bathtub floor (very mean, can cause serious injury)
    Capsicum extract in shampoo and/or on soap (burns like hell, careful with dosing; can cause 3rd degree chemical burns)
    If he uses laundry soap with colour crystals (like Oxydol with green crystalline, or Tide with those blue chunks in it) then you can get a biological crystalline stain like Trypan or methylene blue, or malachite green, and mix it in with his laundry soap.
    Witch hazel mixed into liquid fabric softener.


    If you've got the time and the inclination...
    Fill one of his car tires with water. (requires access to his car, long amount of time, and either submergeable tire pump or pressure sprayer with Schrader chock)
    Remove all his valve stems (a stem puller is $15 at most auto parts stores)
    Spill DMSO down his vent-air intake (DMSO oxidizes to a very foul smelling reek)
    Mini-dill pickles in the gas tank. (This one is fun because what happens is the car runs for a bit, then the fuel pump sucks one to the intake and it corks it up. The car stops running, the vacuum releases, and the pickle if free to move again. The car will run for a while more, until it sucks up another pickle.)

    If he's staying in the apartment after you leave...
    Leave a chicken/milk bomb hidden somewhere. I'll explain it if I have to, but you can ruin a house with one.





    The lesson to all of this: Don't piss off a scientist
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  22. #22
    avid wearer of flip-flops lucky53s's Avatar
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    Evil, evil genius.
    War: Where foolish men kill other foolish men for foolish reasons.
    Quote Originally Posted by artifice View Post
    does this face make my butt look big?

  23. #23
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
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    Silver nitrate salts on his pillow. When exposed to sunlight, skin that has come in contact with silver nitrate is stained black.

  24. #24
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by polara426sh View Post
    Silver nitrate salts on his pillow. When exposed to sunlight, skin that has come in contact with silver nitrate is stained black.
    Bahahahaha! I can't believe I forgot about that one.
    We used to put that in the walk-though basin at the doorway of the communal showers in my freshman dorm. hehehehe


    Other good ones for dorm dwellers:
    - Penny the door shut (the classics are classics for a reason)
    - For doors that open in: Tie a string to the doorknob, over the drop ceiling support, to the fire alarm. Put a note under the door that you have done this.
    - And then there's "The Beeramyd." This takes a week to pull off properly:
    -- When someone comes in for the night and falls asleep, tape newspaper over their doorframe, covering the entire thing down to the floor so they can't see through it.
    -- Do this every day for a week. First day few days, they'll tentatively poke a finger through it and tear it down. By the end of a week, they'll just crash through it like Godzilla.
    -- When they've gotten to the point that they're crashing through it, build the paper wall one more time, and then stack a mountain of empty beer cans behind it. (Alternative: At knee height down to the floor, back the entire paper wall with duct tape and put a kiddie pool full of pudding in the hallway.)
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  25. #25
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
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    Stretch wrap their car shut.

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