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Old 09-03-07, 07:31 PM   #1
timmyquest
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Dogs vs Cats

A DOG'S DIARY

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

A CAT'S DIARY

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the
top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try
this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear
the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks
with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I
can wait.

It's only a matter of time
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Old 09-03-07, 07:48 PM   #2
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The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half-wit.
I love cats.
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Old 09-03-07, 07:54 PM   #3
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Wrong.


Cats obviously believe themselves to be superiour life forms, with us as their loyal servants.


I chose to rescue dogs for a reason. They can't make it in the wild. Plus, they appreciate it. Cats, on the other hand, play us as fools.


(just kidding, I love all animals--but I do think most people should not own them)
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Old 09-03-07, 08:07 PM   #4
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(just kidding, I love all animals--but I do think most people should not own them)
My kitties seem to love me as much as i love them

They are well fed. And i dangle that string in their face frequently.
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Old 09-03-07, 08:14 PM   #5
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(just kidding, I love all animals--but I do think most people should not own them)
I'm sure with you on that. Same with kids.
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Old 09-03-07, 08:37 PM   #6
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Dogs.
Argument over.

(unless, of course we're speaking of poor grammar and misspelled wordZ superimposed on cute digital images, in which case- Cats.)
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Old 09-03-07, 08:39 PM   #7
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I have 3 cats and 1 lab/american fox hound

Dogs rule
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Old 09-03-07, 09:55 PM   #8
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A dog thinks it's human.

A cat knows it's God.
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Old 09-03-07, 10:30 PM   #9
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In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try
this on their bed.


I have been woken out of a dead sleep by the sound of a cat about to vomit on me, just awake enough to shoo the cat out into the hallway where someone else could discover a surpise out there and then back asleep all in about the span of 10 seconds
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Old 09-03-07, 10:53 PM   #10
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WOW! That was funny. Thanks for sharing.

Dogs have a master...Cats have a staff.
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Old 09-03-07, 10:59 PM   #11
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cats don't bark. that's a BIG plus.
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Old 09-03-07, 11:14 PM   #12
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When I come home, my cat greets me by obstructing my parking space, and begging for food (she's over 13 years old now, and has done much to rid our yard of small rodents, so I don't begrudge her).

On the other hand, my dogs are nutso-excited to see me. They want to say hello, and smell my leg to find out all the places I've been, and won't relent until I show them some affection. They do this even if I only was out 15 minutes!

I appreciate the cat, but I have a much stronger bond with the dogs. Shih Tzus are the best!!!
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Old 09-04-07, 02:17 AM   #13
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<------ I my kitty.

Last edited by polara426sh; 09-04-07 at 02:17 AM. Reason: Spacing
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Old 09-04-07, 02:39 AM   #14
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I love dogs. Dogs all the way.

I am an animal person. The thought of any animal being mistreated sends me simultaneously into a fit of tears and rage, but...I'm not a big fan of cats. I think it stems from a severe allergy to cat dander.
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Old 09-04-07, 02:45 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bikingshearer View Post
A dog thinks it's human.

A cat knows it's God.
My cat tries to rule my house.

Quote:
Originally Posted by timmyquest View Post
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.
I wish my cat would only bring in the headless body of the small furry things she catches. Oh no, she prefers to bring the whole damm rodent while it is still alive in and play with it under the bed. At 3am. When I am trying to sleep.

Still I am a cat person.
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Old 09-04-07, 04:28 AM   #16
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I like cat


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Old 09-04-07, 04:30 AM   #17
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Dogs. They tend to be more protective and are more intimidating (well..some are).

On the other hand, as a cyclist, I've never had problems with cats nipping at my ankles
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Old 09-04-07, 05:02 AM   #18
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Cats are bỉtchy
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Old 09-04-07, 05:20 AM   #19
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Old 09-04-07, 06:29 AM   #20
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Pet badgers and wolverines FTW!

Kids need to learn respect these days.
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Old 09-04-07, 06:43 AM   #21
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Old 09-04-07, 06:55 AM   #22
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I see that and raise you this
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Old 09-04-07, 06:56 AM   #23
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edit.... never mind. done with this one.
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Old 09-04-07, 07:20 AM   #24
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edit.... never mind. done with this one.


Didn't know this thread was so intense.
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Old 09-04-07, 07:57 AM   #25
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Earning a cat's trust and love is a challenge. For those not up to the task, consider a dog.
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