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Thread: Dogs vs Cats

  1. #1
    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
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    Dogs vs Cats

    A DOG'S DIARY

    7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

    8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

    2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

    3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

    6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

    7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

    8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

    11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

    A CAT'S DIARY

    Day 183 of my captivity.

    My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
    mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
    while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the
    top of the stairs.

    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
    again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try
    this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
    attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
    fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
    good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
    in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear
    the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my
    confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
    "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
    is obviously a half-wit.

    The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks
    with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due
    to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I
    can wait.

    It's only a matter of time

  2. #2
    Senior Member Lamplight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by timmyquest View Post
    The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
    is obviously a half-wit.
    I love cats.

  3. #3
    (((Fully Awake))) Serendipper's Avatar
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    Wrong.


    Cats obviously believe themselves to be superiour life forms, with us as their loyal servants.


    I chose to rescue dogs for a reason. They can't make it in the wild. Plus, they appreciate it. Cats, on the other hand, play us as fools.


    (just kidding, I love all animals--but I do think most people should not own them)
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    無上甚深微妙法 .... 百千萬劫難遭遇..... 我今見聞得受持

  4. #4
    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Serendipper View Post

    (just kidding, I love all animals--but I do think most people should not own them)
    My kitties seem to love me as much as i love them

    They are well fed. And i dangle that string in their face frequently.

  5. #5
    cyclepath daredevil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Serendipper View Post
    (just kidding, I love all animals--but I do think most people should not own them)
    I'm sure with you on that. Same with kids.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  6. #6
    Affable Aberrant G-Whacker's Avatar
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    Dogs.
    Argument over.

    (unless, of course we're speaking of poor grammar and misspelled wordZ superimposed on cute digital images, in which case- Cats.)
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Won't you pour me a cuban breeze, Gretchen?

  7. #7
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    I have 3 cats and 1 lab/american fox hound

    Dogs rule

  8. #8
    Crawlin' up, flyin' down bikingshearer's Avatar
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    A dog thinks it's human.

    A cat knows it's God.
    "I'm in shape -- round is a shape." Andy Rooney

  9. #9
    Junior Member JonSnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by timmyquest View Post
    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
    again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try
    this on their bed.


    I have been woken out of a dead sleep by the sound of a cat about to vomit on me, just awake enough to shoo the cat out into the hallway where someone else could discover a surpise out there and then back asleep all in about the span of 10 seconds

  10. #10
    Digging in the pain cave. midschool22's Avatar
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    WOW! That was funny. Thanks for sharing.

    Dogs have a master...Cats have a staff.

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    cats don't bark. that's a BIG plus.

  12. #12
    Seņor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    When I come home, my cat greets me by obstructing my parking space, and begging for food (she's over 13 years old now, and has done much to rid our yard of small rodents, so I don't begrudge her).

    On the other hand, my dogs are nutso-excited to see me. They want to say hello, and smell my leg to find out all the places I've been, and won't relent until I show them some affection. They do this even if I only was out 15 minutes!

    I appreciate the cat, but I have a much stronger bond with the dogs. Shih Tzus are the best!!!
    The search for inner peace continues...

  13. #13
    Displaced Southerner polara426sh's Avatar
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    <------ I my kitty.
    Last edited by polara426sh; 09-04-07 at 03:17 AM. Reason: Spacing

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    Senior Member desert_tortoise's Avatar
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    I love dogs. Dogs all the way.

    I am an animal person. The thought of any animal being mistreated sends me simultaneously into a fit of tears and rage, but...I'm not a big fan of cats. I think it stems from a severe allergy to cat dander.

  15. #15
    shaken, not stirred. gnome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikingshearer View Post
    A dog thinks it's human.

    A cat knows it's God.
    My cat tries to rule my house.

    Quote Originally Posted by timmyquest View Post
    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
    attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
    fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
    good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.
    I wish my cat would only bring in the headless body of the small furry things she catches. Oh no, she prefers to bring the whole damm rodent while it is still alive in and play with it under the bed. At 3am. When I am trying to sleep.

    Still I am a cat person.
    Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live. ~Mark Twain, "Taming the Bicycle"
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  16. #16
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    I like cat



  17. #17
    Pretty Hate Machine Weeks's Avatar
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    Dogs. They tend to be more protective and are more intimidating (well..some are).

    On the other hand, as a cyclist, I've never had problems with cats nipping at my ankles

  18. #18
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
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    Cats are bỉtchy
    Last edited by Hobartlemagne; 09-04-07 at 08:45 AM.

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

  19. #19
    Senior Member Hasselhof's Avatar
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    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    Pet badgers and wolverines FTW!

    Kids need to learn respect these days.

  21. #21
    . botto's Avatar
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  22. #22
    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
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    I see that and raise you this

  23. #23
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    edit.... never mind. done with this one.

  24. #24
    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CyLowe97 View Post
    edit.... never mind. done with this one.


    Didn't know this thread was so intense.

  25. #25
    half fast Pupsocket's Avatar
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    Earning a cat's trust and love is a challenge. For those not up to the task, consider a dog.

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