Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 40
  1. #1
    SilentRider FrankBattle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    My Bikes
    Giant TCR 2 Composite, Pedal Force RS (Dura-Ace), Pedal Force CG1 (SRAM Force), Badger Cycles custom steel road, Pedal Force RS2 (SRAM Red)
    Posts
    2,378
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Why Don't You Fart In Public?

    Walking down the really long hallway at work today, I saw this lady up ahead. She looks back for what I thought was no reason (no noise, no fork truck beep beep .. nothing).

    Got me thinking (you know, one of those completely random streams of consciousness): "I wonder if she farted and was hoping there was no one close behind her."

    Which got me thinking: "Why don't more people fart in public?"

    Yeah, I get the rude part. I get the "it's courteous not to do so." I get all the "good manners" angles. But really, why don't you fart in a crowd .. in public? Or do you?

    I dunno why I don't do it. There is a funny story of my neighbor walking up to my car when I was driving out one day .. and I had just let an especially pungent one go; Broccoli does that to me. I was praying he wouldn't want to chat. But he did. I swear I saw him wrinkle his nose ever so slightly.

    Oh well.

  2. #2
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,117
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    I fart in public.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  3. #3
    more ape than man timmhaan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    nyc
    Posts
    8,093
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    i usually do, especially if i'm about to leave an area. like an elevator or a train. it's also perfectly acceptable outdoors and when you're walking around. kinda sucks to do it in a closed room though. that's where the manners come in.

  4. #4
    Member michiganboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    My Bikes
    Lemond Wayzata, Giant ATX 880, Jamis Dakar
    Posts
    38
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I know a guy that likes to drop SBDs while he's walking through a crowded room. Calls it "cropdusting"

  5. #5
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    9,163
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Me too. I love the expression on peoples faces when I do.

  6. #6
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Costa Rica
    My Bikes
    Cannondale F900 and Tandem
    Posts
    3,073
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Alright - get real folks. Even Miss Manners has farted in public. She just blamed it on someone else...

  7. #7
    Endorphin Junkie Bionic Pammy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    "The Best Place to Live 2007 "- Money Magazine
    My Bikes
    '07 Trek 7.9, 1998 Cannondale Silk Road 1000, 1995 Softride Sully MTB, 1971 Schwinn Breeze
    Posts
    83
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    My husband loves nailing elevators right before he gets off of them. Then he listens for the gasps and chokes when the victims get on on the next floor.
    Also, when we're in a crowded place and he says "we have to leave now", I don't wait around. I know what's coming.
    He loves the ability to fart on command. I'm kinda jealous...
    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup View Post
    By the way, the original translation of that tidbit of feel-good propaganda was "If you love something, kill it and bury the corpse in the woods. If it comes back, congratulations, you found an Indian burial ground and you're pretty much ****ed."

  8. #8
    SilentRider FrankBattle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    My Bikes
    Giant TCR 2 Composite, Pedal Force RS (Dura-Ace), Pedal Force CG1 (SRAM Force), Badger Cycles custom steel road, Pedal Force RS2 (SRAM Red)
    Posts
    2,378
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I love the blame games where it isn't any of the people in the room/locale. What if you are so gassy, you get some leakage and it turns out that it IS you but you don't know it.

  9. #9
    Bike Nut
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Wastin' away again in Dorawoodyville
    My Bikes
    Trek 400T Elance, Eddy Merckx Corsa 0.1, Miyata 1000, Electra Townie 7D, Burley tandem
    Posts
    93
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    This is the funniest thread I've read in a while. I must be British.

  10. #10
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,503
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    only if i'm standing near a bunch of role playing geeks....
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  11. #11
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,117
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    reminds me of the joke about the dog under the dinner table. "Damn It Skippy, move before she takes a dump on you!"
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  12. #12
    more ape than man timmhaan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    nyc
    Posts
    8,093
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bionic Pammy View Post
    My husband loves nailing elevators right before he gets off of them. Then he listens for the gasps and chokes when the victims get on on the next floor.
    Also, when we're in a crowded place and he says "we have to leave now", I don't wait around. I know what's coming.
    He loves the ability to fart on command. I'm kinda jealous...
    wow, you scored! don't let that catch get away

  13. #13
    SilentRider FrankBattle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    My Bikes
    Giant TCR 2 Composite, Pedal Force RS (Dura-Ace), Pedal Force CG1 (SRAM Force), Badger Cycles custom steel road, Pedal Force RS2 (SRAM Red)
    Posts
    2,378
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I had broccoli the other night then went down in the basement to work on my remodeling. Remember broccoli gives me major smelly gas. I swear I'd let one rip and have to run from the spot.

    I didn't get much done that night.

  14. #14
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    San Hoosey
    My Bikes
    http://velospace.org/user/36663
    Posts
    2,983
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Public is for farting.

    It's why they invented outdoors in the first place!

  15. #15
    Ladies, I'm collecting... NeCrO632's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Reppin' the 510. Oaktown.
    My Bikes
    '95 Kona Firemountain - '07 Trek 1500
    Posts
    90
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    i do. my wife hates that. yeah i think she's jealous i can do it on command...like my avatar is doing right now..
    ----------------------------
    Slow as a tortoise giving birth...

  16. #16
    ....gets the cheese Second Mouse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    SLC, Utah
    My Bikes
    Panasonic DX 2000, LeMond Reno, Canondale Caad 8
    Posts
    2,542
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bionic Pammy View Post
    My husband loves nailing elevators right before he gets off of them. Then he listens for the gasps and chokes when the victims get on on the next floor.
    Oh yeah, Mrs. Funnypants--yuck it up. Your hubby got off the elevator on the 11th floor just as I was getting on. Not only did he get a chuckle out of it, but when the elevator stopped to pick people up on the 10th floor, who do you think everyone wrinkled their noses at? Mr. Pammy? Noooo! Stinky Second Mouse, thank you very much!








  17. #17
    the actual el guapo atomship47's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    midwest
    My Bikes
    '06 trek 7300, '05 db wildwood, '07 felt z35
    Posts
    1,035
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
    Me too. I love the expression on peoples faces when I do.
    what kind of fart?
    Compatibility:

    Your exact opposite is the Televangelist.

    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Smartass, and the Sociopath.

  18. #18
    Senior Member digger's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Nova Scotia Canada
    My Bikes
    Cervelo RS. Marinoni touring bike. Kona Tanuki. Specialized Harrock (commuter). Raleigh (early 80s) Super Gran Prix.
    Posts
    1,980
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    A friend of mine, who is hearing impaired, recently had an operation to implant a hearing device in her brain.

    During the course of deciding whether or not to have this operation, she was talking to one guy who did have it and after the operation, when he was able to hear, he was horrified to learn that farts make noise.

    That was my most painful day of laughter.

  19. #19
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Seattle
    My Bikes
    Surly crosscheck ssfg, Custom vintage french racing bike, Bruce Gordon Rock & Road
    Posts
    3,183
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by digger View Post
    A friend of mine, who is hearing impaired, recently had an operation to implant a hearing device in her brain.

    During the course of deciding whether or not to have this operation, she was talking to one guy who did have it and after the operation, when he was able to hear, he was horrified to learn that farts make noise.

    That was my most painful day of laughter.
    I love when i read something online that literally makes me laugh out loud.....the looks from the coworkers are priceless!

    A friend back in the day used to always say "that guy looks like he's smelling a fart" to describe a certain type of jackass, with a certain type of jackass face.

  20. #20
    I play in the street. nobrainer440's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    College: K-State; Home: Overland Park, KS
    My Bikes
    2005 Allez Triple, 1971 Schwinn Varsity Fixed Gear Conversion
    Posts
    977
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Outdoors, always. In a big crowd, sometimes, depending on the air circulation.

  21. #21
    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Woodstock
    Posts
    5,761
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    i was in the post office yesterday waiting in line when the woman in front of me let a juicy one out. A second later, someone across the room said "i can help the next person in line", she promptly took advantage.

  22. #22
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Maine, The Way Life Should Be
    My Bikes
    Fuji Nevada MTB, Giant OCR1
    Posts
    545
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Everyone farts in public...just not loud.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  23. #23
    Senior Member mezza's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    On the intramaweb thing.
    My Bikes
    Steel geared. Steel Fix.
    Posts
    1,016
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Some of you are fart 'commando's'. I gotta drop some in public
    Do you own or run a small/medium business in Australia?
    Grow your business GUARANTEED* www.jumpglobal.com.au

  24. #24
    Endorphin Junkie Bionic Pammy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    "The Best Place to Live 2007 "- Money Magazine
    My Bikes
    '07 Trek 7.9, 1998 Cannondale Silk Road 1000, 1995 Softride Sully MTB, 1971 Schwinn Breeze
    Posts
    83
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I just thought of more that my "I can fart on command" husband does. If someone bangs a cart into him in the checkout line of the grocery store, he'll drop one and leave the poor bastage there to enjoy the aroma. It's not like you can move far to get away from the stink....

    The only place he won't drop bombs is in church. Some places are just sacred. In his words, church is a "no fly zone". It wasn't that way with my Dad. He'd drop one then look over at me like I did it. The worst time was when a little kid behind us asked during the sermon "Mommy, what stinks?".

    And people wonder why I turned out like I did.....
    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup View Post
    By the way, the original translation of that tidbit of feel-good propaganda was "If you love something, kill it and bury the corpse in the woods. If it comes back, congratulations, you found an Indian burial ground and you're pretty much ****ed."

  25. #25
    370H-SSV-0773H linux_author's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Penniless Park, Fla.
    My Bikes
    Merlin Fortius, Specialized Crossroads & Rockhopper, Serotta Fierte, Pedal Force RS2
    Posts
    2,760
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    - old one, but still relevant here:

    toot tone

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •