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Old 09-11-07, 03:11 PM   #1
timmhaan
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are you an introvert?

finally, someone sums up exactly how i feel. I've tried over and over to explain to people the need to spend considerable time by myself but they just never seem to understand.

anyway, see if you relate, i think it's a very interesting article:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?....

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Old 09-11-07, 03:15 PM   #2
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holding my hand up...you just described me.
I need hours of personal time each day...its when my brain can finally sift through the mountains of rubble left there by the many around. It when I can get it together for tomorrow and plan what I need to do.
It drives my wife and daughter nuts...they aren't like that and can't relate
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Old 09-11-07, 03:17 PM   #3
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It sounds like me.

You know, one of the hardest things about switching to a carpool was knowing the time alone in my car I would lose.

Can I go now? I want to be alone.
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Old 09-11-07, 03:18 PM   #4
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Ah, as it turns out I'm not an introvert. Apparently, it's just that nobody wants to be around me for hours/day.

Damn, I'll just go with the introvert thing.

... Brad
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Old 09-11-07, 03:23 PM   #5
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Count me in!!!!! I thank God for my private office in a corner of the building away from the main traffic.
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Old 09-11-07, 03:24 PM   #6
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This is definitely me, but I've known that for a long time.
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Old 09-11-07, 03:26 PM   #7
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Quote:
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holding my hand up...you just described me.
I need hours of personal time each day...its when my brain can finally sift through the mountains of rubble left there by the many around. It when I can get it together for tomorrow and plan what I need to do.
It drives my wife and daughter nuts...they aren't like that and can't relate
yep. and the required alone time seems fairly hardwired, at least for me. for example, if i have 2 or more days in a row of social activity i will always find a way to spend the next day alone. i can rarely spend more than 3 or 4 hours with people and then i naturally start to head out.

i have some friends that hang out with each other all weekend long (less so as we get older), or have guests over all the time. i just can't do it. it's impossible for me to live like that. kinda weird, huh?
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Old 09-11-07, 03:40 PM   #8
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Read up on Asperger syndrome and ADHD, if you haven't done so already. Sounds like a clear-cut case, in my opinion.

One of my best friends has both, although his Asperger is very mild. His ADHD, though, is not.
When he's been to a party or out to a club, he says he's "spent" for the next day or two. Sitting with other people on a bus or a train for more than 10-15 minutes makes him want to crawl out of his skin.

Myself, I am generally energised by other people, but I sometimes go into some kind of introvert mode, where I almost avoid contact with other people. It also seems to be self-reinforcing. If I am around other people a lot, I want to do it even more, but if I've been forced (for various reasons) to be by myself for several days, I feel a need to bury myself in isolation. Very strange!
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Old 09-11-07, 03:43 PM   #9
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i need lots of thinking alone time too. as opposed to the other kinds of alone times.



and i'm shy too.
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Old 09-11-07, 03:44 PM   #10
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Read up on Asperger syndrome and ADHD, if you haven't done so already. Sounds like a clear-cut case, in my opinion.

One of my best friends has both, although his Asperger is very mild. His ADHD, though, is not.
When he's been to a party or out to a club, he says he's "spent" for the next day or two. Sitting with other people on a bus or a train for more than 10-15 minutes makes him want to crawl out of his skin.

Myself, I am generally energised by other people, but I sometimes go into some kind of introvert mode, where I almost avoid contact with other people. It also seems to be self-reinforcing. If I am around other people a lot, I want to do it even more, but if I've been forced (for various reasons) to be by myself for several days, I feel a need to bury myself in isolation. Very strange!
Its not that I don't want to see other people, or socialize with them.. its just that I need time to myself. My brain does not function at its highest level when I'm bombarded by background noise, people with questions, or other distractions. I find that it takes time to unwind and then the brain really cranks up and I can solve all sorts of issues. Its just the way I'm wired...and no I don't have asperger syndrome. ADD maybe...but never dx'd.
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Old 09-11-07, 03:45 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timmhaan View Post
Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?....


Not an introvert at all.


...but other factors make me relate to your situation. Too much people-time can overwhelm me.

I wish it were not so, I really do love people.
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Old 09-11-07, 03:55 PM   #12
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yep.
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Old 09-11-07, 04:01 PM   #13
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Here's a good show: BBC UK - Secret Life.
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Old 09-11-07, 04:11 PM   #14
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yep. and the required alone time seems fairly hardwired, at least for me. for example, if i have 2 or more days in a row of social activity i will always find a way to spend the next day alone. i can rarely spend more than 3 or 4 hours with people and then i naturally start to head out.

i have some friends that hang out with each other all weekend long (less so as we get older), or have guests over all the time. i just can't do it. it's impossible for me to live like that. kinda weird, huh?
that's me to a tee brother - embrace it! the exto's don't understand, but who cares?

someone has told me that's our way our 'recharging'.

my wife is an extrovert and she's the opposite - needs people, interaction to recharge. go figure.

we're like those two circles that intersect - each to his/her own, but we do have a nice time in that middle section.
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Old 09-11-07, 04:45 PM   #15
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I'm going to have my wife read this. One of our biggest problems is her constantly asking me "What's wrong?"
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Old 09-11-07, 04:48 PM   #16
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I'm a rare breed: The shy extravert. I love being around people, but it's difficult to build up the courage to actually meet new people.

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Old 09-11-07, 04:49 PM   #17
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I was an introvert until I got inverted... just kidding

Yep, I just spent two days in meetings - at the end I just wanted to be alone. It feels like too much input, not enough processing. And in parties, I usually can be found talking with one or two people away from the maddening crowd.
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Old 09-11-07, 04:49 PM   #18
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Read up on Asperger syndrome and ADHD, if you haven't done so already.



You can build coping mecha for autism, but it seems that true introverts (and sociopaths) choose to be alone, because they want to be alone.


I choose to be around people, because that's what I truly desire...to be a part of society.


I have to de-rezz after, but wish I didn't have to.


To each his own.
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Old 09-11-07, 04:51 PM   #19
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I find that I am mostly an introvert. My wife is an extravert. In reality I am a bit of both.
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Old 09-11-07, 04:56 PM   #20
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I'm going to have my wife read this. One of our biggest problems is her constantly asking me "What's wrong?"
yes, when i read it, i forwarded it on to my GF. she often asks me that question and i just never really had a good answer for it. and, to be honest, it's annoying to be asked that question on a regular basis so it was causing a little bit of a problem.
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Old 09-11-07, 04:59 PM   #21
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I'm a rare breed: The shy extravert. I love being around people, but it's difficult to build up the courage to actually meet new people.
how old are you? the shy part of the equation may go away eventually. i was super shy during high school and college, but then for whatever reason i no longer had a problem with that. when i want to be, i can be extremely personable. but i have to be in the mood for that.
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Old 09-11-07, 05:52 PM   #22
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I'm really not introverted but I much prefer the company of myself.
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Old 09-11-07, 06:11 PM   #23
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I'm a bit introverted, especially in situations where I'm meeting people. Once I know them, I'm much more comfortable.
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Old 09-11-07, 06:13 PM   #24
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Around my friends that I've known for years, I am very outgoing and say whatever is on my mind. But around people I don't know very well, I am quite shy. Generally, I would say I am an introvert.

The guy I live with, one of my best friends, is quite the opposite. A very outgoing, extroverted person. I just want to be alone, but he keeps bothering me and trying to talk to me.
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Old 09-11-07, 06:39 PM   #25
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It's not that I don't like being around people. I just need to deal with them one on one or in pairs.
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