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Old 09-12-07, 02:59 PM   #1
zoltani
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What would jesus drive?

Well apparently he drove an SUV!
http://www.popaganda.com/press/image...d_JesusSUV.jpg
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Old 09-12-07, 03:01 PM   #2
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Oh my....that's rough.
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Old 09-12-07, 03:06 PM   #3
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Thats awesome, I forwarded it to all of my EI buddies.
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Old 09-12-07, 04:47 PM   #4
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i have it on excellent authority that He drives a Chrysler product of some sort with a 440 wedge, actually...

"...He always gets a third-gear scratch, His sandal's made of lead..."

"...when He isn't savin' souls you'll find Him at the strip, trading in his automatic for a pistol grip..."

so, i doub't He's driving anything as awful as a Hummer...
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Old 09-12-07, 04:50 PM   #5
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Ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long.
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Old 09-12-07, 05:00 PM   #6
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NO! Jesus would drive a Prius!
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Old 09-12-07, 05:03 PM   #7
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Nah,

Scripture is quite clear, he returns with a sword. My guess is he will drive a tank, but a jeep setup like in hte Rat Patrol is a close second.
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Old 09-12-07, 05:42 PM   #8
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Rolls Royce Silver Cloud?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-12-07, 05:44 PM   #9
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Can't he just borrow the pope-mobile?
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Old 09-12-07, 05:47 PM   #10
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Old 09-12-07, 05:47 PM   #11
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Can't he just borrow the pope-mobile?
Jesus is bullet proof, no need for pope mobile.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-12-07, 05:50 PM   #12
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I wonder if Jesus would be more comfortable with a lease or purchase option. What's his credit score?

Also, most insurance excludes "acts of God." Would He need a special liability policy?
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Old 09-12-07, 05:52 PM   #13
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Fishes and loaves, dude. Jesus could get a Kia Rio and turn it into a Maybach. Not that he would, but he could.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-12-07, 05:55 PM   #14
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In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy, forced to pick out the Holy Grail amongst a spread of glitzy, shiny chalices, chose the dull, beaten up, boring cup, for Jesus was but a poor, modest carpenter and wouldn't have had anything so fancy.

Therefore, Jesus would drive a 1985 Toyota pickup truck with a lumber rack and a utility bed. Clearly.
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Old 09-12-07, 05:57 PM   #15
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Does this mean that Jesus is a, a, a, CAGER!!!

That's it, screw the Rapture. I'm waiting to see what Maitreya Buddha rides in on.
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Old 09-12-07, 05:58 PM   #16
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I cannot get the idea of a "war wagon" out of my head!
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Old 09-12-07, 06:29 PM   #17
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Quote:
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In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy, forced to pick out the Holy Grail amongst a spread of glitzy, shiny chalices, chose the dull, beaten up, boring cup, for Jesus was but a poor, modest carpenter and wouldn't have had anything so fancy.

Therefore, Jesus would drive a 1985 Toyota pickup truck with a lumber rack and a utility bed. Clearly.
And Jesus would never allow himself to be annointed with expensive oil!

Oh wait that happened and he did!

I just love the images people have of Jesus that don't fit with what Scripture says.
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Old 09-12-07, 06:36 PM   #18
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A chariot?
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Old 09-12-07, 06:36 PM   #19
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Quote:
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I just love the images people have of Jesus that don't fit with what Scripture says.
Psst -- It was a joke, son. I'm only going by what happened in the movie, as I don't have a personal "image" of the literary character in question. This is Foo, lighten up.
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Old 09-12-07, 06:45 PM   #20
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When Jesus drives, does he leave from Chicago and head down to New Orleans?
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Old 09-12-07, 06:46 PM   #21
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When Jesus drives, does he leave from Chicago and head down to New Orleans?
If Jesus leaves Chicago at 11am traveling east at 30mph, and Judas leaves NYC at 3pm traveling west, what would Judas's 30 pieces be worth in US dollars?
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Old 09-12-07, 07:00 PM   #22
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He'd probably resurrect His ol' year 35 (or whatever) donkey

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Old 09-12-07, 07:15 PM   #23
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Ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long.
Jesus built your hotrod too?
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Old 09-12-07, 07:20 PM   #24
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NO! Jesus would drive a Prius!
In reality, Prius's are pieces of wasteful ****. I think Jesus would drive something more efficient he made himself in his own garage. Either that or a Cannondale.
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Old 09-12-07, 07:44 PM   #25
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If Jesus leaves Chicago at 11am traveling east at 30mph
...he's going to get real wet around 11:15am.
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