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  1. #1
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
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    What would jesus drive?


  2. #2
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Oh my....that's rough.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  3. #3
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
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    Thats awesome, I forwarded it to all of my EI buddies.

  4. #4
    blithering idiot jhota's Avatar
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    i have it on excellent authority that He drives a Chrysler product of some sort with a 440 wedge, actually...

    "...He always gets a third-gear scratch, His sandal's made of lead..."

    "...when He isn't savin' souls you'll find Him at the strip, trading in his automatic for a pistol grip..."

    so, i doub't He's driving anything as awful as a Hummer...

  5. #5
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long.

  6. #6
    Hardrocker
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    NO! Jesus would drive a Prius!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Keith99's Avatar
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    Nah,

    Scripture is quite clear, he returns with a sword. My guess is he will drive a tank, but a jeep setup like in hte Rat Patrol is a close second.

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Rolls Royce Silver Cloud?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
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    Can't he just borrow the pope-mobile?
    They told me to wear more lycra, and I said "no, no, no."

  10. #10
    Banned.
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  11. #11
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krink View Post
    Can't he just borrow the pope-mobile?
    Jesus is bullet proof, no need for pope mobile.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  12. #12
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    I wonder if Jesus would be more comfortable with a lease or purchase option. What's his credit score?

    Also, most insurance excludes "acts of God." Would He need a special liability policy?
    They told me to wear more lycra, and I said "no, no, no."

  13. #13
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Fishes and loaves, dude. Jesus could get a Kia Rio and turn it into a Maybach. Not that he would, but he could.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  14. #14
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy, forced to pick out the Holy Grail amongst a spread of glitzy, shiny chalices, chose the dull, beaten up, boring cup, for Jesus was but a poor, modest carpenter and wouldn't have had anything so fancy.

    Therefore, Jesus would drive a 1985 Toyota pickup truck with a lumber rack and a utility bed. Clearly.

  15. #15
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    Does this mean that Jesus is a, a, a, CAGER!!!

    That's it, screw the Rapture. I'm waiting to see what Maitreya Buddha rides in on.
    They told me to wear more lycra, and I said "no, no, no."

  16. #16
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
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    I cannot get the idea of a "war wagon" out of my head!

  17. #17
    Senior Member Keith99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by x136 View Post
    In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy, forced to pick out the Holy Grail amongst a spread of glitzy, shiny chalices, chose the dull, beaten up, boring cup, for Jesus was but a poor, modest carpenter and wouldn't have had anything so fancy.

    Therefore, Jesus would drive a 1985 Toyota pickup truck with a lumber rack and a utility bed. Clearly.
    And Jesus would never allow himself to be annointed with expensive oil!

    Oh wait that happened and he did!

    I just love the images people have of Jesus that don't fit with what Scripture says.

  18. #18
    ****** squegeeboo's Avatar
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    A chariot?
    In the words of Einstein
    "And now I think I'll take a bath"

  19. #19
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith99 View Post
    I just love the images people have of Jesus that don't fit with what Scripture says.
    Psst -- It was a joke, son. I'm only going by what happened in the movie, as I don't have a personal "image" of the literary character in question. This is Foo, lighten up.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Thomas4321's Avatar
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    When Jesus drives, does he leave from Chicago and head down to New Orleans?
    Quote Originally Posted by maximan1 View Post
    I have two weapons in life...
    My arms, my leg, and my brain.

  21. #21
    ****** squegeeboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas4321 View Post
    When Jesus drives, does he leave from Chicago and head down to New Orleans?
    If Jesus leaves Chicago at 11am traveling east at 30mph, and Judas leaves NYC at 3pm traveling west, what would Judas's 30 pieces be worth in US dollars?
    In the words of Einstein
    "And now I think I'll take a bath"

  22. #22
    My name is Mike, not Cal
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    He'd probably resurrect His ol' year 35 (or whatever) donkey

    "I got my lips chewed off by a dingo!" --David Letterman

  23. #23
    Fourth Degree Legend junkyard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by x136 View Post
    Ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long.
    Jesus built your hotrod too?
    Quote Originally Posted by dminor View Post
    The caveat with a strap-on, of course, is you will have to get creative with a couple of lock cables and an anchor point

  24. #24
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BenLi View Post
    NO! Jesus would drive a Prius!
    In reality, Prius's are pieces of wasteful ****. I think Jesus would drive something more efficient he made himself in his own garage. Either that or a Cannondale.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  25. #25
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squegeeboo View Post
    If Jesus leaves Chicago at 11am traveling east at 30mph
    ...he's going to get real wet around 11:15am.

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