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Old 09-13-07, 04:19 PM   #1
mlh122
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Stolen lunch, 12 hour shift :(

frraack i'm on a 12 hour shift (corporate office environment) and I go to the communal refrigerator to obtain my skillfully crafted foodstuffs and wha?! all my lunch/snacks is gone! been here since 6 am, all dizzy/weak and stuff,, only 3 more hours to go!!!
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Old 09-13-07, 04:36 PM   #2
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Bastages. Order some pizza. Or quail. Or quailjerky. Or quailjerky pie.
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Old 09-13-07, 04:39 PM   #3
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fix something extremely yucky, but somehow package it up so that it looks great...when it disappears, put a note on the fridge telling the stupid ******* who took it "hope you enjoyed my lunch for the second time".
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Old 09-13-07, 04:46 PM   #4
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no need to be that passive aggressive. just put your lunch in a padded bear trap and then throttle the next jerk who tries to take it.
unless they're like a bobcat or bear that gnaws its foot off to escape
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Old 09-13-07, 04:47 PM   #5
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i agree, go for the most noxious creation you can think of, prepared to look yummy. do this only after bringing real yummy stuff for days. after that, only bring stuff that does not need refrigeration and keep it with you. payback is hell
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-13-07, 04:50 PM   #6
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fix something extremely yucky, but somehow package it up so that it looks great...when it disappears, put a note on the fridge telling the stupid ******* who took it "hope you enjoyed my lunch for the second time".
Nahh.... Just get a couple of those cellulose kitchen sponges, cut them into squares, soak 'em in chocolate syrup, and put in the fridge. Looks just like brownies. The taste is good enough to fool many people, though they are a bit chewy....

Then there's the old grade school trick. Real brownies or choc chip cookies. Use Ex Lax.
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Old 09-13-07, 04:52 PM   #7
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start writing "this lunch is a fridgebomb" on your lunch.
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Old 09-13-07, 05:09 PM   #8
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Nahh.... Just get a couple of those cellulose kitchen sponges, cut them into squares, soak 'em in chocolate syrup, and put in the fridge. Looks just like brownies. The taste is good enough to fool many people, though they are a bit chewy....

Then there's the old grade school trick. Real brownies or choc chip cookies. Use Ex Lax.
Yup, ExLax brownies. Watch for the bastige runing for the loo with his/her arse cheeks puckerd and there's the culprit.

When they come out of the loo confront them,
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Old 09-13-07, 05:43 PM   #9
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Even more entertaining, try Syrup of Ipacac (sp) works faster and hard to hide.
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Old 09-13-07, 06:02 PM   #10
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Large doses of arsenic.
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Old 09-13-07, 06:04 PM   #11
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Just hide Explody Pup in your lunch bag - he will most likely eat the offender...
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Old 09-13-07, 06:16 PM   #12
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Yep, that happened to me on the same day my knee started being painful and my car broke down. It's a pretty lousy thing to do
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Old 09-13-07, 06:20 PM   #13
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Put Viagra in it.
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Old 09-13-07, 06:22 PM   #14
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My friend had a similar problem, so he got a few extra foldy boxes you get for asian take-out, then went to work. He created a masterful work of culinary art containing bean sprouts, rice, vegetables and chunky/gravy dog food. It actually looked quite yummy. He then borrowed an idea from one of those college whatever movies from the late 90s or early 2ks (can't remember which, they made something nasty) and took a picture of himself scooping dog food into a pan full of veggies. He taped it to the cellophane-wrapped fortune cookie and put that at the bottom of the bag with a bunch of other stuff like soy sauce and sweet/sour packets, chopsticks and the whole nine yards.

He caught the offender when he heard uncontrollable vomiting noises from a few aisles over, but the a-hole didn't swipe it until two or three days after the trap had been set.
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Old 09-13-07, 06:30 PM   #15
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And then of course there is habaneros.
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Old 09-13-07, 06:53 PM   #16
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I have had relatives (who have not had anything spicier than pot roast) think the habaneros in my fridge were tiny bell peppers... They had a slight surprise.
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Old 09-13-07, 07:18 PM   #17
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Oh what a ******, stealing someone's lunch, thats so low.

Ex-lax brownies, only solution.
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Old 09-13-07, 08:50 PM   #18
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Oh what a ******, stealing someone's lunch, thats so low.

Ex-lax brownies, only solution.
I've had my lunch stolen before, but this time it was my only food for the day. I had no cash on me for the vending machines, my co workers also didn't have cash to loan me (we all have direct deposit), and I rode my bike in so I didn't have time to go out to lunch

1 guy here took the blanket approach, he took several boxes of Twinkies, used a very large-bore syringe to suck the cream filling out, he mixed the cream filling with ex-lax, and then used the syringe to inject the filling back in. then he piled them in a pyramid, and put a sign on them saying "DO NOT TOUCH", needless to say they were eaten in a matter of minutes. about 45 people went home sick that day.

Another co-worker here has put habanero powder on his oreos. He also simply made many very very very spicy dishes, since he liked food spicier than most, almost anyone that stole his food would be in mild discomfort, twice.
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Old 09-13-07, 08:53 PM   #19
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Nothing like spicy food clawing at the back door trying to get out.
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Old 09-13-07, 08:54 PM   #20
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Pass the word around that your lunch had some recalled food in it and you aren't mad, just that for their health.......
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Old 09-13-07, 09:07 PM   #21
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1 guy here took the blanket approach, he took several boxes of Twinkies, used a very large-bore syringe to suck the cream filling out, he mixed the cream filling with ex-lax, and then used the syringe to inject the filling back in. then he piled them in a pyramid, and put a sign on them saying "DO NOT TOUCH", needless to say they were eaten in a matter of minutes. about 45 people went home sick that day.
These people clearly are too stupid and selfish to learn. Therefore, I suggest you get a Mr. Bento. You could put a little padlock on the bag. I really like mine.

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Old 09-13-07, 09:19 PM   #22
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And then of course there is habaneros.


What you want to use is the Naga Jolokia Pepper, which rates in at 1,041,427 Scoville units. An habanero only rates at about 300,000 Scoville units.
You should not touch the Naga Jolokia with bare skin, use gloves.
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Old 09-13-07, 09:24 PM   #23
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Sheesh - those things are painful just to look at...
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Old 09-13-07, 09:30 PM   #24
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One brushes the pepper across whatever you want to make too hot to eat. Chopping it up and putting it in the dish could hospitalize someone.
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Old 09-13-07, 10:41 PM   #25
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gg
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