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Old 09-15-07, 04:24 PM   #1
nmt6789
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I'm lost.......

Lately I've been wondering what is wrong with me. I'm not enjoying anything. Nothing I do brings me joy besides a few things. I wake up and its just another day and I feel like what am I doing? I'm in college and I feel like it is nothing special. Theres something wrong with me. I need to be reprogrammed or something.
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Old 09-15-07, 05:21 PM   #2
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It could be any number of things. It could be something simple like the change in the weather, the stress of a new semester, your outlook on life...etc.
Or it could be something more serious. Either way, I suppose we are not the best people to try to figure out the problem. A few things to think about are: Has anything changed in your life recently? How do you feel physically? DO certain things trigger these feelings? do you feel like this at certain times each year? that's a good place to start.
It could be something more serious or harder to change, but start simple first. If you feel it's something serious, or even if you aren't sure, don't be afraid to ask someone you trust, or even a "professional". It's funny how scared people are to think there might be something "wrong" with them. I guess it starts with thinking it's "wrong" I feel it's simply different. Maybe I feel this way because I've been through all the "crap" of the mental health care system. More often than not you will find that it's something that you can handle. A good support system (family, friends, teachers...) can really do wonders. I often need help seeing where I'm going with my life. I have trouble seeing "how far I've come" and often only see "how far I still need to go." but that's actually pretty normal. It's funny I stumbled across this thread as I'm sitting here thinking about why I'm having trouble opening my book to study. "why should I? it's not going ot make sense to me and I won't be able to concentrate on it anyway" is what I think to myself. But, in the end I will eventually do it and seeing that I'm not the only one feeling this at this moment just might help. So, thank you for that. See, you do have a purpose!!. So hang in there, and don't be afraid to extend that free hand out for assistance. we all need it sometimes.
My PM box is open if you need/want to send a message.
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Old 09-15-07, 05:43 PM   #3
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I, too, have had many mornings where I wondered, "Why bother to get up at all?" and "Why do you even want to live?" Understand, OP, as most everyone here on Foo does, that I lost my husband last year, after being his caregiver for three years (ALS). It's closing on a year for me now, and I have to say that being on Foo, and ridin' my bike every day, literally saved me. It's not that I wanted to die, but there were many days I just didn't want to live. There is a difference. I know.

I don't know what's goin' on in your life, but you, too, can find a way to go on. For me, I had only to remember that someone who loved me very much, namely my late husband, would never have wanted me to become self-destructive. For you, perhaps, parents?

In any case, find someone with whom you can talk, and be human. Human social contact is very important. Don't let anyone pigeon-hole you or try to paint you into a box. You have some real issues (if only your own -- I so understand this isolation issue), but you can find a way to keep going. And life can be beautiful.

I'm just guessin' here, but I suspect you are fairly young. You have many great years ahead. You are captain of your life. Go out, my friend, and LIVE it. On behalf of those who no longer can, and not by choice, like my late husband.

((hugs)) You can do it, baybuh!
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Old 09-15-07, 05:53 PM   #4
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I guess maybe I'm a little stressed here at college. I am the kind of person who worries even if everything is alright. I guess you could call me a nervous wreck.

All I want to do is pass all of my classes and not have any problems. I guess I'm putting too much thought into that because I'm constantly working.

I'm in my first QUARTER of my freshman year and college is completely new to me but I hate having to worry about things. I need to find a way to stop worrying in a constructive way.

In the last two years I started running and over the summer I started biking so I can get away from whatever it is. I don't have my bike here but I hope to have it soon.

I need some piece of mind that I am going to do well this year.
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Old 09-15-07, 06:15 PM   #5
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OP, just remember, you survived HS. You'll survive college. Trust me.

And do get your bike there asap, dammit. <serious Vega look>
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Old 09-15-07, 06:51 PM   #6
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Old 09-15-07, 07:27 PM   #7
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Vega ALWAYS deserves a big (((((Hug))))).
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Old 09-15-07, 07:37 PM   #8
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I guess maybe I'm a little stressed here at college. I am the kind of person who worries even if everything is alright. I guess you could call me a nervous wreck.

All I want to do is pass all of my classes and not have any problems. I guess I'm putting too much thought into that because I'm constantly working.

I'm in my first QUARTER of my freshman year and college is completely new to me but I hate having to worry about things. I need to find a way to stop worrying in a constructive way.

In the last two years I started running and over the summer I started biking so I can get away from whatever it is. I don't have my bike here but I hope to have it soon.

I need some piece of mind that I am going to do well this year.
Are you like me, in that you will look for something wrong even if everything is ok? At times it comes in handy, but it's mostly a pain in the butt. Vega is right. You made it through high school, you can do this. The work load might not be easier, but the harder stuff like socialization, bullies, and all that other junk are SO much easier to deal with in college. I'm in my 3rd year of my 2 year degree. It's not because I failed classes, it's because of the 2 year waiting list for the nursing program at my college. I spread out the other classes required for the degree over the first 2 years to lighten my load for when things got rough, and so I wouldn't be sitting on my butt waiting. At 24, I feel I should be further along in my career goals, as well as in other aspects of my life. But, I am not and as hard as it is some days I have to just accept the fact that I am here and doing my best and have come a long way. Most of the time I really don't think I've come far, just like most of us don't. we simply see where we are and don't think much about how we got here and all the things we have overcome in the process. To be completely honest, at 18 I really didn't think I'd be on this earth at all at this point, let alone in nursing school, working in a nursing home, engaged (crosses fingers things work out), and for the most part happy with where my life is headed. Do I have my moments? Heck yeah!! But we all do. I just read 2 chapters of the 7 I need to read by monday morning that I will be tested on at 8:30am. I have to be to work in less than an hour and a half and be there til 7:15 in the morning. then I get to ride my bike home and read some more, take a nap and read some more.
Remember that your best is the best you can do. Your best may not be the same as someone else's, or what other people think it should be. It may not be perfect, and in many cases it's not. But that's where learning comes in. I remember when I kicked myself in the butt for anything less than a 4.0 in college. My first 2.8 really opened my eyes. It wasn't my best, but it was the best I could do at the time. And, I learned more from that 2.8 than any 4.0 I ever got.
And BTW, I need to thank you. You helped me find the motivation to read those 2 chapters!!
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Old 09-15-07, 07:48 PM   #9
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Old 09-15-07, 07:49 PM   #10
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These words have helped me quite a bit

Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
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Old 09-15-07, 07:51 PM   #11
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I need something that will tell me that everything if fine.

I dont know why but thats the way I am. I guess maybe I wont know until the end of the quarter and I see my grades.

I guess maybe it also has to do with the fact that I am an engineering student and I am always thinking???

I read a cartoon and said something along the lines like "Engineers dont do well when they're idle"
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Old 09-15-07, 08:07 PM   #12
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I need something that will tell me that everything if fine.

I dont know why but thats the way I am. I guess maybe I wont know until the end of the quarter and I see my grades.

I guess maybe it also has to do with the fact that I am an engineering student and I am always thinking???

I read a cartoon and said something along the lines like "Engineers dont do well when they're idle"
I don't recommend watching the movie "idle hands" then... You might need something to do with your free time. I think that's why the bike helped you. it kept you busy. Until you get your bike there you need to find something to do. Is there a physical education building at your college you can use? try using a stationary bike, or swimming or something. You'll need to figure out why you have trouble while you are idle, but in the meantime try to give yourself less idle time.
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Old 09-15-07, 08:15 PM   #13
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Baybuh, at any point in your life, you're are exactly where you want/need to be.

The assignments of others do not matter. It's all about where you feel you are. I, too, am an ME. And I actually considered a change of career as a cardiovascular tech specialist (couldn't make up my mind at that point to become a non-invasive tech or an invasive tech).

There is a saying: "Idle hands are the devil's workshop." It's not so religious as it is real, with regards to booze, etc., that can fill a heart, or a day.... There are many here on Foo, nmt6789, who have felt your angst and pain. Let us/them guide you, and more importantly, support you, in finding yourself. You do have meaningful contributions to make, and these contributions will leave you feeling so upbeat about yourself and about life....

And, thanks, R-dad. I loves me you, you know. For nearly a year now. You helped to save me.

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Old 09-15-07, 09:52 PM   #14
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nmt, look out for yourself. Make sure you take some time to do things that are more than just work. Work is work; it's not why you live. You're in a new environment right now, and I suspect you will find college is a great ride before you're done with it. At the moment it's new and you're still finding your feet. Give yourself time to do that.

Vega is right when she said that there are others here who have been through what you are experiencing. It's the black dog that I face nearly every day. You're not alone.
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Old 09-15-07, 10:11 PM   #15
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J'ai perdu ma force et ma vie.
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