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  1. #1
    Body By Nintendo Psydotek's Avatar
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    Will it blend? Today's subject: Chuck Norris - Presented by Blendtec


    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.

  2. #2
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    You sir or madam as the case may be, are a comic genius. I now shall slowly lower myself to the floor of my office and cavort about whilst guffawing until my posterior becomes detached.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  3. #3
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Yeah that and too

  4. #4
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Now, that was funny!!!

    On a side note, Blendtech has been doing these internet commercials for a while now, but it really is all that. There are only two "real" blenders in the world. Vita-Mix and Blendtech. They both rawk!! I bought a Vita-Mix about a year or so ago and don't regret the money spent on it, one bit.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  5. #5
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    You need to take some will it blend suggestions KT! I will send you balls if you will blend them and film it and post it!
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  6. #6
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    You need to take some will it blend suggestions KT! I will send you balls if you will blend them and film it and post it!
    Nice thought, but *I* am not ruining an $100 blender carafe/blade combo for that.

    Maybe if you sent $100 and the balls, I'd do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  7. #7
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    get me an address. You will also find the thinly sliced unicorn and good rye in the box.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  8. #8
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    get me an address. You will also find the thinly sliced unicorn and good rye in the box.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  9. #9
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    But what aboot the jellay!?!?!?

  10. #10
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
    But what aboot the jellay!?!?!?
    We assume that was real. You weren't making that up, were you?
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  11. #11
    Senior Member permanentjaun's Avatar
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    ughhh...chuck norris is overrated

    Jack Bauer forrr theeee winnnnnnnn. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

    This has been Michele LaFountain for your ESPN Deportes update.

  12. #12
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris breaks Jack Bauer into pieces and then uses his bones to pick his teeth clean.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  13. #13
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    We assume that was real. You weren't making that up, were you?
    Not making it up at all. I can post a pic if you don't believe me,

  14. #14
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
    Not making it up at all. I can post a pic if you don't believe me,
    That's my point...that was why it wasn't listed. Because we believe you, it is real.

    Unicorns and good rye bread don't exist. Your balsamic onion jelly does, so it didn't make sense to list it with the others.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  15. #15
    Senior Member permanentjaun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    Chuck Norris breaks Jack Bauer into pieces and then uses his bones to pick his teeth clean.
    Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

  16. #16
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Good One!

  17. #17
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by permanentjaun View Post
    Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
    Chuck Norris shut her back up by stuffing her mouth full with Jack Bauer.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  18. #18
    Senior Member permanentjaun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    Chuck Norris shut her back up by stuffing her mouth full with Jack Bauer.
    Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he's sitting in a wheel chair.

  19. #19
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    The Mugabe Ocean once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. Now its a desert.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  20. #20
    Senior Member permanentjaun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    The Mogabi Ocean once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. Now its a desert.
    I've got you beat on this one.

    Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

  21. #21
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris did a roundhouse kick so fast it sent back in time where he went to 0 A.D. and impregnated some woman named Mary.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  22. #22
    Senior Member permanentjaun's Avatar
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    There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.

  23. #23
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    There are no such thing as straight men...just men who've never met Chuck Norris.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  24. #24
    Senior Member permanentjaun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    There are no such thing as straight men...just men who've never met Chuck Norris.
    Now I'm confused. You're admitting Chuck Norris is gay? Ha.


    Anyways,

    Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a *****

  25. #25
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by permanentjaun View Post
    Now I'm confused. You're admitting Chuck Norris is gay? Ha.
    No...I said that men who met him instantly became gay. I didn't say anything about *him*.
    Anyways,

    Quote Originally Posted by permanentjaun View Post
    Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a *****
    Giving up so soon? That was so lame, I assume you are giving up.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

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