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Old 09-20-07, 10:01 AM   #1
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Will it blend? Today's subject: Chuck Norris - Presented by Blendtec

http://www.willitblend.com/videos.as...fe&video=chuck

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A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.
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Old 09-20-07, 10:19 AM   #2
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You sir or madam as the case may be, are a comic genius. I now shall slowly lower myself to the floor of my office and cavort about whilst guffawing until my posterior becomes detached.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-20-07, 10:27 AM   #3
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Yeah that and too
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Old 09-20-07, 10:35 AM   #4
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Now, that was funny!!!

On a side note, Blendtech has been doing these internet commercials for a while now, but it really is all that. There are only two "real" blenders in the world. Vita-Mix and Blendtech. They both rawk!! I bought a Vita-Mix about a year or so ago and don't regret the money spent on it, one bit.
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 09-20-07, 10:38 AM   #5
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You need to take some will it blend suggestions KT! I will send you balls if you will blend them and film it and post it!
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-20-07, 10:40 AM   #6
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You need to take some will it blend suggestions KT! I will send you balls if you will blend them and film it and post it!
Nice thought, but *I* am not ruining an $100 blender carafe/blade combo for that.

Maybe if you sent $100 and the balls, I'd do it.
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Old 09-20-07, 10:49 AM   #7
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get me an address. You will also find the thinly sliced unicorn and good rye in the box.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-20-07, 10:51 AM   #8
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get me an address. You will also find the thinly sliced unicorn and good rye in the box.
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Old 09-20-07, 11:22 AM   #9
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But what aboot the jellay!?!?!?
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Old 09-20-07, 11:24 AM   #10
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But what aboot the jellay!?!?!?
We assume that was real. You weren't making that up, were you?
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Old 09-20-07, 11:29 AM   #11
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ughhh...chuck norris is overrated

Jack Bauer forrr theeee winnnnnnnn. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

This has been Michele LaFountain for your ESPN Deportes update.
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Old 09-20-07, 11:31 AM   #12
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Chuck Norris breaks Jack Bauer into pieces and then uses his bones to pick his teeth clean.
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Old 09-20-07, 11:36 AM   #13
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We assume that was real. You weren't making that up, were you?
Not making it up at all. I can post a pic if you don't believe me,
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Old 09-20-07, 11:37 AM   #14
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Not making it up at all. I can post a pic if you don't believe me,
That's my point...that was why it wasn't listed. Because we believe you, it is real.

Unicorns and good rye bread don't exist. Your balsamic onion jelly does, so it didn't make sense to list it with the others.
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Old 09-20-07, 11:40 AM   #15
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Chuck Norris breaks Jack Bauer into pieces and then uses his bones to pick his teeth clean.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
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Old 09-20-07, 11:40 AM   #16
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Good One!
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Old 09-20-07, 11:46 AM   #17
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Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
Chuck Norris shut her back up by stuffing her mouth full with Jack Bauer.
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Old 09-20-07, 11:54 AM   #18
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Chuck Norris shut her back up by stuffing her mouth full with Jack Bauer.
Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he's sitting in a wheel chair.
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Old 09-20-07, 11:59 AM   #19
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The Mugabe Ocean once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. Now its a desert.
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Old 09-20-07, 12:00 PM   #20
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The Mogabi Ocean once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. Now its a desert.
I've got you beat on this one.

Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
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Old 09-20-07, 12:02 PM   #21
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Chuck Norris did a roundhouse kick so fast it sent back in time where he went to 0 A.D. and impregnated some woman named Mary.
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Old 09-20-07, 12:06 PM   #22
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There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.
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Old 09-20-07, 12:08 PM   #23
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There are no such thing as straight men...just men who've never met Chuck Norris.
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Old 09-20-07, 12:13 PM   #24
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There are no such thing as straight men...just men who've never met Chuck Norris.
Now I'm confused. You're admitting Chuck Norris is gay? Ha.


Anyways,

Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a *****
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Old 09-20-07, 12:15 PM   #25
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Now I'm confused. You're admitting Chuck Norris is gay? Ha.
No...I said that men who met him instantly became gay. I didn't say anything about *him*.
Anyways,

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Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a *****
Giving up so soon? That was so lame, I assume you are giving up.
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