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  1. #1
    One Hep Cat Joe Dog's Avatar
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    "Do you have a family?"

    My wife and I have decided to not have children. It is a personal choice and one that we both feel good about. The only problem is the inevitable question "do you have a family?".

    Of course I have a freaking family!! I was born. I was raised by my mother and father, grew up with a brother and two sisters, then I got married, so now I have that family, plus a whole bunch of in-laws to boot. But what people mean when they ask "do you have a family?" is actually "do you have children?". This always comes from new acquaintences (new clients, new employees, etc.) and anything I say at that point seems make the situation awkward.

    I certainly don't have any regrets about our decision and don't hold anything against those that have chosen to have kids, but I could really use some suggetions on how to answer this question without throwing a wrench in the conversation.

    Suggestions?

  2. #2
    Giving you the business. Cypress's Avatar
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    Lie.

    Say something like "you're not ready" or something like that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Moderator
    Dear Cypress,

    You have received an infraction at Bike Forums.

  3. #3
    One Hep Cat Joe Dog's Avatar
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    Good suggestion, but I am 42 years old.

  4. #4
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    "Yes, I do. But we decided to not contribute to the world population explosion."
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  5. #5
    automobile gravitron BLIMP's Avatar
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    "No, I'm not a breeder."
    "The term, then, is obviously a relative one: my pedantry is your scholarship, his reasonable accuracy, her irreducible minimum of education and someone else’s ignorance." H. W. Fowler, Modern English Usage

  6. #6
    One Hep Cat Joe Dog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    "Yes, I do. But we decided to not contribute to the world population explosion."
    That's close to what I usually say. It usually comes out something like "yes, but no children". Then you get a puzzled look and then embarrasment when they decide it might be a plumbing problem or something .

  7. #7
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    "I'm firing blanks, since you reeeaally wanted to know." *snicker!*
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  8. #8
    Climbing Above It All BikeWNC's Avatar
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    No, I had an accident on my bike when I was a kid. After the re-constructive surgery I was told having children was not an option.

  9. #9
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    "okay I must confess. We both have innies."
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  10. #10
    Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    "okay I must confess. We both have innies."
    Dreams really do come true.

    Errr I mean....

    GROSS!!!

  11. #11
    Dude wheres my guads? skinnyone's Avatar
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    "You want the truth? You cant handle the truth"

    and optionally

    "Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
    We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"

  12. #12
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Why even worry about it? No kids here either Been married 30 years now too.
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  13. #13
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    "We traded the kids for these really cool bikes!"

    Dang, I'm on a roll!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  14. #14
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    Why even worry about it? No kids here either Been married 30 years now too.
    *knock knock*

    Excuuuuse me? *feeling like chopped liver*
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  15. #15
    Climbing Above It All BikeWNC's Avatar
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    I was conceived as a test tube baby. I wouldn't want to out another human being through that.

  16. #16
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    *knock knock*

    Excuuuuse me? *feeling like chopped liver*
    I don't mean Foo daughters....

    In this case I'm referring to biological daughters You'll always be my Foo daughter, Siu!

    ( Besides, Foo daughters are daughters that were chosen rather than a biological accident )
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  17. #17
    One Hep Cat Joe Dog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    Why even worry about it? No kids here either Been married 30 years now too.
    I deal with people. I am a senior manager in a professional service consulting firm. I greet clients, welcome new employees, and generally am the "face of the company". When you meet a new person, they naturally tend to look for things you have in common to help bond. Children are great for that - "want to see a picture of my little precious? Sure, then I will show you mine...".

    It's not that I am worried about it. I just need some social lubricant and redirect here...

  18. #18
    Giving you the business. Cypress's Avatar
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    Turn it over to them.

    Them: Do you have any kids?

    You: Nope. Do you?

    Them: Yeah I have ____ kids.

    You: How old are they?


    I mean, that's what the question is all about isn't it? Just filler for an inevitably bland conversation?
    Quote Originally Posted by Moderator
    Dear Cypress,

    You have received an infraction at Bike Forums.

  19. #19
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    I usually use the line, "Hey, if you have to fail at something, that's more fun than most", if I want a humorous response.

    If they are irrritating me about it, I get a bit more pithy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Joe Dog View Post
    I deal with people. I am a senior manager in a professional service consulting firm. I greet clients, welcome new employees, and generally am the "face of the company". When you meet a new person, they naturally tend to look for things you have in common to help bond. Children are great for that - "want to see a picture of my little precious? Sure, then I will show you mine...".

    It's not that I am worried about it. I just need some social lubricant and redirect here...
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  20. #20
    Dude wheres my guads? skinnyone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cypress View Post
    Turn it over to them.

    Them: Do you have any kids?

    You: Nope. Do you?

    Them: Yeah I have ____ kids.

    You: How old are they?


    I mean, that's what the question is all about isn't it? Just filler for an inevitably bland conversation?
    God damn!! He has a point..

  21. #21
    One Hep Cat Joe Dog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    If they are irrritating me about it, I get a bit more pithy.
    I can get pithy, too. Some of my spicier responses include:

    "No - I sprang from the earth when Thor dropped his hammer."

    or my favorite...

    "I don't think so."

  22. #22
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    I don't mean Foo daughters....

    In this case I'm referring to biological daughters You'll always be my Foo daughter, Siu!

    ( Besides, Foo daughters are daughters that were chosen rather than a biological accident )

    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  23. #23
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe Dog View Post
    I can get pithy, too. Some of my spicier responses include:

    "No - I sprang from the earth when Thor dropped his hammer."

    or my favorite...

    "I don't think so."
    "Oh no. Who are you, how old are you and what's your mother's name? "
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  24. #24
    Dude wheres my guads? skinnyone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe Dog View Post
    I can get pithy, too. Some of my spicier responses include:

    "No - I sprang from the earth when Thor dropped his hammer."

    or my favorite...

    "I don't think so."
    you mean droped his hamer right?

  25. #25
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    "Do you have a family?"

    In a very emotionless, monotone voice, and with unblinking eyes, slowly reply: "Yes, they're in the freezer, right next to those two hitch hikers I picked up last month."

    I doubt they'll ask any more questions.

    Or you could just go with the answer from The Cypress.
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

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