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View Poll Results: What's this guy on?
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Old 10-05-07, 09:36 AM   #1
DocRay
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Poll: What's this guy on?

From craiglist, best of,

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tpa/409930561.html

Date: 2007-08-30, 2:03PM EDT


Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.


Last edited by DocRay; 10-05-07 at 09:55 AM.
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Old 10-05-07, 09:45 AM   #2
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Only rarely am I jealous of other people's genius.
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Old 10-05-07, 09:46 AM   #3
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What's this guy on?
A sense of humor.
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Old 10-05-07, 09:48 AM   #4
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hahahahahahh --- he belongs with the group I passed in the Mall a while ago (inner city - so there's a lot of homeless kinda people who hang there) ---- woman who walks with babydoll - and treats it like a baby, i.e. has a baby stroller and carries a bag with baby products in it - this morning the babydoll was propped up on the table with a bottle, and the deaf man who talks to himself, yep with sign language. He had an arguement with himself the other day as he stood in front of a mirror.
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Old 10-05-07, 09:48 AM   #5
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A sense of humor.
+1

That would explain the OP's befuddlement too
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Old 10-05-07, 09:48 AM   #6
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the treasures you can find in the "best of" craigslist
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Old 10-05-07, 09:49 AM   #7
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OMFG that is the ****ing best and funniest thing I have heard in a long time.
I loved the part about sending the winner of the package back with a post note saying "use this one for breeding"

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Old 10-05-07, 09:51 AM   #8
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This man is my hero. To think to do such a thing, is well, it's just, it's silliness to a brilliant level.
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Old 10-05-07, 09:51 AM   #9
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hahahahahahh --- he belongs with the group I passed in the Mall a while ago (inner city - so there's a lot of homeless kinda people who hang there) ---- woman who walks with babydoll - and treats it like a baby, i.e. has a baby stroller and carries a bag with baby products in it - this morning the babydoll was propped up on the table with a bottle, and the deaf man who talks to himself, yep with sign language. He had an arguement with himself the other day as he stood in front of a mirror.
you do realize you're laughing at the homeless and mentally ill?
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Old 10-05-07, 09:52 AM   #10
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This man is a genius!!!!!!!!! I used to try to crush M&M like that as well, but never held competions all the way to the end of a bag.
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Old 10-05-07, 09:58 AM   #11
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you do realize you're laughing at the homeless and mentally ill?
sorry ... that was meant more for M&M guy.
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Old 10-05-07, 10:00 AM   #12
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you do realize you're laughing at the homeless and mentally ill?
You really need to work on this "sense of humor" thing, DocRay. The good news is that at least you've found the right place (Foo).


Now...how about a link to his craigslist ad....we should contact him and get him to join us in Foo. He'd fit right in.
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Old 10-05-07, 10:01 AM   #13
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hahahahahahh --- he belongs with the group I passed in the Mall a while ago (inner city - so there's a lot of homeless kinda people who hang there) ---- woman who walks with babydoll - and treats it like a baby, i.e. has a baby stroller and carries a bag with baby products in it - this morning the babydoll was propped up on the table with a bottle, and the deaf man who talks to himself, yep with sign language. He had an arguement with himself the other day as he stood in front of a mirror.


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Old 10-05-07, 10:01 AM   #14
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That was great! This guy is truly onto something here....I don't know what it is, but I could certainly use some of it myself.
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Old 10-05-07, 10:04 AM   #15
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you do realize you're laughing at the homeless and mentally ill?
Nothing wrong with that Doc, I laugh at myself everyday.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you don't deserve to laugh at others.
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Old 10-05-07, 10:11 AM   #16
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hahahahahahh --- he belongs with the group I passed in the Mall a while ago (inner city - so there's a lot of homeless kinda people who hang there) ---- woman who walks with babydoll - and treats it like a baby, i.e. has a baby stroller and carries a bag with baby products in it - this morning the babydoll was propped up on the table with a bottle, and the deaf man who talks to himself, yep with sign language. He had an arguement with himself the other day as he stood in front of a mirror.
You know...I know this is Foo and all, but to make fun out of that is just wrong dude. Nobody WANTS to be homeless/mentally ill.
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Old 10-05-07, 10:12 AM   #17
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Excuse me, I quite enjoy dementia.
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Old 10-05-07, 10:13 AM   #18
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Excuse me, I quite enjoy dementia.
I enjoy your dementia too, stacey
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Old 10-05-07, 10:15 AM   #19
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I enjoy your.....er....what was I saying again?
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Old 10-05-07, 10:26 AM   #20
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I enjoy your dementia too, stacey
Thanks, that means a lot to me. I enjoy being appreciated.
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Old 10-05-07, 12:21 PM   #21
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You know...I know this is Foo and all, but to make fun out of that is just wrong dude. Nobody WANTS to be homeless/mentally ill.

actually i have come to accept my mental illness, i gets more time to ride my bike.
and it is ok when i forget names during sex now
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Old 10-05-07, 12:22 PM   #22
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actually i have come to accept my mental illness, i gets more time to ride my bike.
and it is ok when i forget names during sex now
So...being a guy is now a mental illness?
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Old 10-05-07, 12:28 PM   #23
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You really need to work on this "sense of humor" thing, DocRay. The good news is that at least you've found the right place (Foo).
Laughing at homeless and mentally ill people is not humor. It's an aspect of American culture that doesn't really translate anywhere else. Elsewhere, it defines the term , "being a dick".
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Old 10-05-07, 12:30 PM   #24
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Laughing at homeless and mentally ill people is not humor. It's an aspect of American culture that doesn't really translate anywhere else. Elsewhere, it defines the term , "being a dick".
I repeat myself....you really need to work on your "sense of humor".
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Old 10-05-07, 12:30 PM   #25
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Only rarely am I jealous of other people's genius.
+10000
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