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  1. #1
    don't misunderestimate me BoSoxYacht's Avatar
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    How do you help a choking man?

    This might help the Yankees.

    1 Ask A-Rod stand if he or she(he does wear makeup, it can be confusing) is sitting.

    2 Place yourself slightly behind A-Rod.

    3 Assure A-Rod that you know the Heimlich maneuver and are going to help.

    4 Place your arms around A-Rod's waist.

    5 Make a fist with one hand and place your thumb toward A-Rod, just above his or her belly button.

    6 Grab your fist with your other hand.

    7 Deliver five upward squeeze-thrusts into the abdomen.

    8 Make each squeeze-thrust strong enough to dislodge a foreign body.

    9 Understand that your thrusts make the diaphragm move air out of A-Rod's lungs, creating a kind of artificial cough.

    10 Keep a firm grip on A-Rod, since he or she can lose consciousness and fall to the ground if the Heimlich maneuver is not effective.

    11 Repeat the Heimlich maneuver until A-Rod stops choking.




    He'll be OK once he puts on a RED SOX uniform.

    Do my beloved RED SOX really want him, if he can't produce in October?
    Last edited by BoSoxYacht; 10-05-07 at 09:48 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Allen's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like he's playing for the Braves.

  3. #3
    don't misunderestimate me BoSoxYacht's Avatar
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    I know it's premature, but...


    The Sox are up 2-0,

    and the Skanks are 0-2.

    Things are good tonight.

  4. #4
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Wouldn't it be easier to pull out a couple inches?

  5. #5
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    but Stacey, the way the trachea contracts feels so right!
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  6. #6
    '05 NUEser EJ123's Avatar
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    Baseba-zZzz.

  7. #7
    don't misunderestimate me BoSoxYacht's Avatar
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    If the Rangers was my local team, I'd hate it too.

    The Red Sox vs. the Yankees, it's the best rivalry of any sport.

  8. #8
    Air
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    Destroyer of Wheels Air's Avatar
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    Aww, you Red Sox fans with your inferiority complexes are soo cute!

  9. #9
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    No matter who he plays for, the Texas Rangers, once the plaything of GW Bush, are still paying his choking arse.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  10. #10
    KombuchaCHIC Shadiyah's Avatar
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    Sit on his chest and bounce up and down many times?

  11. #11
    Senior Member Allen's Avatar
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    Ahem...
    Cough, gasp, gasp, cough, gasp....
    Last edited by Allen; 10-07-07 at 10:36 PM.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Sledbikes's Avatar
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    punch them in the gut
    riding and pimpin again

  13. #13
    Senior Member Caspar_s's Avatar
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    Just took a first aid course at work... apparently it is now no longer called the Heimlich maneuver. They call it abdominal thrusts. I think I'll still refer to it by the old name. I don't see myself going up to a woman and asking if she'll let me do some abdominal thrusts on her.

    Oh, and if they're coughing, leave them, they're more effective at removing it themselves. If they're not coughing ask them to talk. If they can't talk, then it is completely blocked and you can do the thrusts. (and not 5 times.... you only need to do it until it comes out which is usually two - probably one to see the reaction, and the second to do it hard enough)

  14. #14
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoSoxYacht View Post
    I know it's premature, but...


    The Sox are up 2-0,

    and the Skanks are 0-2.

    Things are good tonight.
    With the yanks it's premature until the final out of the last inning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  15. #15
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadiyah View Post
    Sit on his chest and bounce up and down many times?
    wow..... may not help, but what a way to go.......
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  16. #16
    Seņor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    Could always offer him a contract to play for the Mets...
    The search for inner peace continues...

  17. #17
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    Forget all the sports crap you've read on this thread.

    1 Ask the person to stand.

    2 Place yourself slightly behind the choking person.

    3 Assure the person that you know the Heimlich maneuver and are going to help.

    4 Place your arms around his or her waist.

    5 Make a fist with one hand and place your thumb toward A-Rod, just above his or her belly button.

    6 Grab your fist with your other hand.

    7 Deliver five upward squeeze-thrusts into the abdomen.

    8 Make each squeeze-thrust strong enough to dislodge a foreign body.

    9 Understand that your thrusts make the diaphragm move air out of the choking person's lungs, creating a kind of artificial cough.

    10 Keep a firm grip on the person, since he or she can lose consciousness and fall to the ground if the Heimlich maneuver is not effective.

    11 Repeat the Heimlich maneuver until he or she stops choking.

  18. #18
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoSoxYacht View Post
    How do you help a choking man?
    Something like this...

    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  19. #19
    smorenivore colorider's Avatar
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    A Red Sox fan prematurely busting on the Yankees about choking no less? Wow, win one World Series every 100 years and look what happens. Go Rockies!
    One does not simply ride their bike into Mordor! - electrik

  20. #20
    don't misunderestimate me BoSoxYacht's Avatar
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    "You walkin' to me? You walkin' to me? You walkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you walking... you walking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the #@%! do you think you're walking to? Oh yeah? OK." -- Manny Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver, Part Deux


    From BDD

  21. #21
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoSoxYacht View Post
    "You walkin' to me? You walkin' to me? You walkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you walking... you walking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the #@%! do you think you're walking to? Oh yeah? OK." -- Manny Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver, Part Deux


    From BDD
    You may gloat now.

    While you are at it, go slap the Buffalo Bills QB silly. Threw an interception when they were within range of putting the Cowboys away
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  22. #22
    don't misunderestimate me BoSoxYacht's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trsidn View Post
    You may sleep now.

    While you are at it, go slap the Buffalo Bills QB silly. Threw an interception when they were within range of putting the Cowboys away
    Trust me, having to face them scared me a bit. Thanks to the Midges, we won't need to worry about the Skankees




    The Cowboy's have a real tough game coming up against the Pats. Any predictions on that one?

  23. #23
    Seņor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoSoxYacht View Post
    ... The Cowboy's have a real tough game coming up against the Pats. Any predictions on that one?
    My prediction: Neither you nor I will suit up for the game.
    The search for inner peace continues...

  24. #24
    don't misunderestimate me BoSoxYacht's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by USAZorro View Post
    My prediction: Neither you nor I will suit up for the game.
    That's for sure. There aren't too many 150 pound players in the NFL.

  25. #25
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoSoxYacht View Post
    Trust me, having to face them scared me a bit. Thanks to the Midges, we won't need to worry about the Skankees




    The Cowboy's have a real tough game coming up against the Pats. Any predictions on that one?
    Hope the patriots grind them to dust. I think it's wrong to take pleasure in someone else's misery, but in Jerry Jones' case, I make an exception. Right up there with Steinbrenner.

    That said, pulling in Romo as an undrafted free agent has got to be one of the best football deals ever.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

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