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  1. #1
    Senior Member dannyq's Avatar
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    Anybody ever write a biography of themselves?

    I have to write one for a scholarship application. Looking for some help. Edit: Should be autobiography.
    Last edited by dannyq; 10-17-07 at 07:17 PM. Reason: Sorry, should be autobiography!

  2. #2
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
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    Just make sure to write about your passion in some certain academic area, even if it is a lie. Then say how you will use your knowledge in said area to save the world.
    Not sure if it will work. I have had to write a couple, but not really sure how successful they were.

  3. #3
    proud of his bunny Zinn-X's Avatar
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    face it--your life has probably been pretty boring. what you really need is a good antagonist, a twisting plot and a romantic interest to kick your autobiography up a notch! those scholarship people are probably reading a lot of boring crap every day. you need to give them an experience that they will remember when they're at home and in the shower.

    none of this bull**** about passion in academics, or helping the world either. they'll know you're full of it.
    "I'll probably stomp you into the ground. I'm 6'4", 250, work out everyday, and have an extremely bad attitude." -ovrrdrive (aka. Captain Carnage)

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zinn-X View Post
    face it--your life has probably been pretty boring. what you really need is a good antagonist, a twisting plot and a romantic interest to kick your autobiography
    He said he was writing a biography of themselves, not an autobiography of himself. Get it?



    I don't.
    They told me to wear more lycra, and I said "no, no, no."

  5. #5
    Mr. Maximan1 maximan1's Avatar
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    I just finished one for a class assignment

  6. #6
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    Yep... short, one pager kind of thing.
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  7. #7
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    I wrote one once. Every person who has read it has died of boredom. Just the act of writing it put me into a coma for a month...

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    x wrote my posthumous autobiography on a grain of rice.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    Prefers Cicero cooker's Avatar
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    What sort of scholarship to where?

  10. #10
    Senior Member rsd212's Avatar
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    Assuming this is for college, are you by chance first generation or have faced adversity at any point? If not, then lie. Say how hard it was to get to where you were (without ever saying it was hard), say how thankful you are to be where you are, and make up some story telling why you're choosing the school/major/etc that you are choosing. I won a lot of minor scholarships in undergrad, as well as a lot of "personal statements" for grad school. Its all about exaggerating the crap out of your life while making it sound believable. Because face it, you ARE boring.

  11. #11
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    Oh, good advice. Lie. Yep... that'll teach you the right way to do things.

    Some day, rsd, someone is going to check on what you tell them and you'll find yourself tossed out on your can.
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  12. #12
    Prefers Cicero cooker's Avatar
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    Research the school and if appropriate the donor or funder of the scholarship if it separate. If it is the "John Wannamaker" scholarship fund, find out everything you can about John Wannamaker and the fund's terms of reference.

    Write truthfully about your interests, skills and strong points while specifically emphasing the parts that fit with the goals of the institution and donor. For example if it is a religiously affiliated college, and you are a spiritually-oriented person make sure they know that. If it is a technical school make sure you emphasize any hobbies or talents that show you have a mechanical or conceptual aptitude for the field. If "John Wannamaker" was passionate about nature, mention any interests you have in that area and comment on how you believe this shows you support his legacy.

    In other words, try to show them how you fit the model of what they are looking for.

  13. #13
    RustyTainte substructure's Avatar
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    What about the Kramer-Petterman-Benes method of writing:

    ELAINE: Oh, what didn't you like about the first chapter?
    PETERMAN: Well, it started out nicely: "I'm returning some pants." A very identifiable problem.. (turns page) "I set of down a train tunnel.".. (turns page) But that's where the story takes a most unappealing turn.
    ELAINE: Oh, no, no! That's where it gets interesting! Don't you see? The - the train is bearing down on you, you - you dive into a side tunnel - and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers!
    PETERMAN: It just seems so cliched, and obvious. It's not interesting writing.
    ELAINE: Yeah.. yeah. I know. Um.. how about if, instead of.. diving from the train, you.. uh, you, I don't know, you slip and, and fall in some mud, and.. ruin your pants?
    PETERMAN: (Intrigued) The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony! Elaine, that is interesting writing!

  14. #14
    Banned.
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    Here is mine:


  15. #15
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Birth, School, Work, Death

    Mine is a musical.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  16. #16
    Senior Member dannyq's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooker View Post
    What sort of scholarship to where?
    Police academy.

  17. #17
    sniffin' glue zoltani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dannyq View Post
    Police academy.
    Just try not to sound to smart then, they may not want you.

  18. #18
    Prefers Cicero cooker's Avatar
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    Can you post the first draft so we can comment or suggest improvements?

  19. #19
    Senior Member dauphin's Avatar
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    yes..I Suck. It's a short story.

  20. #20
    To be continued Dannihilator's Avatar
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    When Mr. Smashy makes his, Mr. Smashy is writing it in 3rd person.
    Strike like an eagle and sacrifice the dove.
    Words and Stuff.

  21. #21
    old codger icithecat's Avatar
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    Hobies.

    Hanging around Foo and asking life altering questions.............

    DO NOT use that.

    Good luck.

  22. #22
    Mr. Maximan1 maximan1's Avatar
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    Called autobiography, BTW.

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