We all know that Pheard has the uncanny ability to put his foot in it. With unerring presicion, if there is an indelicate question or imprudent observation to be made, our man Jon will find it and blurt it out in as tactless a way as is humanly possible. This in turn leads to expulsion of tons of greenhouse gasses as we all exclaim "WTF?" and the senseless destruction of innocent electrons as we all post appropriate responses.
So, in the interests of preserving precious natural resources, please post advice for Pheard here. You know, things that he really ought to know or do but doesn't or won't.
Never, never, NEVER ask a woman if she is PMS'ing, on her period, in menopause, or anything that even remotely suggests that you think there might be even a tiny bit of difference in her behavior because of her womanly bodily functions. In fact, the only thing you can safely do that suggests you even know she has womanly bodily functions is buy her some damn pads or tampons when she asks you to.
There is no correct, or even safe, answer when a S/O asks the dreaded "does this make me look fat" question. The least wrong response is to say "NO" as quickly as ever you can and pray like crazy that it was quickly enough. You'll still catch hell for lying or just trying to butter her up or some such, but believe me, it beats the consequences of any other answer you could possibly give.
And finally: Don't do wheelies on carbon fiber frames.