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  1. #1
    moving target c0urt's Avatar
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    my holiday story

    or the legendary frozen toy story

    This event actually occurred several years ago and I have been meaning to type it up for a long time now.

    So I have this friend who is a mechanical genius. If I need something drawn out, blown up, or burned down, he is generally the person to call. Unfortunately no matter how smart he may be, he does some amazingly stupid things sometimes.

    Once a while back he was at home in the middle of the day baking chocolate chip cookies as a surprise for his wife who was on her way home from work. After removing the still hot cookies from the oven he proceeds to pop one directly into his mouth and chew. There was that moment of pure bliss that one gets when you bite into a warm cookie, but it was quickly followed by a blood curdling yell as 300 some odd degree molten chocolate hit his tongue turning his mouth into a mini Pompeii.

    In a blind agony he dropped the pan of cookies onto the floor and ran directly to his freezer to threw to door open and look for something to end the burning in his mouth.

    *POP*


    He popped in the first thing he saw. An aluminum butt-plug that he had recently turned and polished on his lathe and was in the freezer to cool. to give this next part weight, you have to have seen the movie "A Christmas Story." Cold aluminum sticks to bare moist skin, especially tongues.

    And so the comedy begins. This is the exact moment his wife walks into her kitchen to see cookies all over the floor, the freezer open and her husbands muffled cries, wild gestures, and well a butt-plug in his mouth. In a stunning moment on compassion she did what most wives would have done and yanked the plug and most of his tongue out, before kissing him on the forehead and calling him a dumb ass.
    how to tape your bars http://www.flickr.com/photos/89572419@N00/sets/72157629279270681/

  2. #2
    Air
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    Destroyer of Wheels Air's Avatar
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    You totally saved my day - that was awesome.

  3. #3
    Senior Member ModoVincere's Avatar
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    1 bronze, 0 silver, 1 gold

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Any video?

  5. #5
    Generated Member trsidn's Avatar
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    omg!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  6. #6
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Court, your stories are always good.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  7. #7
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    frozen aluminum hand made butt plug. I never thought I would see those words together in that combination. I am still trying to get my mind around the idea of giving my a rectal toy that I had made for her. Now trying to combine that with the goodness that is the fresh baked chocolate chip cookie. I keep getting a fatal error message and my brain shuts down.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    good story though, very good in fact. thanks.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    moving target c0urt's Avatar
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    no pics, like i said this was a few years ago, and before i learned you always carry a camera.
    how to tape your bars http://www.flickr.com/photos/89572419@N00/sets/72157629279270681/

  10. #10
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    I don't think a picture of a guy with a buttplug in his mouth and chocolate drippings all over his face would stay posted for very long anyway...

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