Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-20-07, 01:42 AM   #1
c0urt
moving target
Thread Starter
 
c0urt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: birmingham, al
Bikes: a masi speciale, and a kuota k-factor.
Posts: 2,828
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
my holiday story

or the legendary frozen toy story

This event actually occurred several years ago and I have been meaning to type it up for a long time now.

So I have this friend who is a mechanical genius. If I need something drawn out, blown up, or burned down, he is generally the person to call. Unfortunately no matter how smart he may be, he does some amazingly stupid things sometimes.

Once a while back he was at home in the middle of the day baking chocolate chip cookies as a surprise for his wife who was on her way home from work. After removing the still hot cookies from the oven he proceeds to pop one directly into his mouth and chew. There was that moment of pure bliss that one gets when you bite into a warm cookie, but it was quickly followed by a blood curdling yell as 300 some odd degree molten chocolate hit his tongue turning his mouth into a mini Pompeii.

In a blind agony he dropped the pan of cookies onto the floor and ran directly to his freezer to threw to door open and look for something to end the burning in his mouth.

*POP*


He popped in the first thing he saw. An aluminum butt-plug that he had recently turned and polished on his lathe and was in the freezer to cool. to give this next part weight, you have to have seen the movie "A Christmas Story." Cold aluminum sticks to bare moist skin, especially tongues.

And so the comedy begins. This is the exact moment his wife walks into her kitchen to see cookies all over the floor, the freezer open and her husbands muffled cries, wild gestures, and well a butt-plug in his mouth. In a stunning moment on compassion she did what most wives would have done and yanked the plug and most of his tongue out, before kissing him on the forehead and calling him a dumb ass.
c0urt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 08:09 AM   #2
Air
Destroyer of Wheels
 
Air's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Creating some FA-Qs
Bikes: Nishiki Sport, Downtube IXNS, 1950's MMB3 Russian Folding Bike, MTB
Posts: 3,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You totally saved my day - that was awesome.
__________________
The Almighty Clyde FAQ || Northeast Index
eTrex Vista References || Road Reference


It's the year of the enema!
Air is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 08:12 AM   #3
ModoVincere
Riding Heaven's Highways on the grand tour
 
ModoVincere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Bikes:
Posts: 1,675
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
__________________
1 bronze, 0 silver, 1 gold
ModoVincere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 08:15 AM   #4
VegaVixen
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina, USA
Bikes: '71 Raleigh Sports, '84 Schwinn LeTour on the trainer (and available for hill repeats), '06 Scott CR1 SL (Ksyrium SL), and a yet-to-be-determined TT bike.
Posts: 1,643
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Any video?
VegaVixen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 08:54 AM   #5
trsidn 
Meadow Party Member
 
trsidn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Putting the 'fun' in dysfunctional
Bikes: Cannondale CAAD8, Trek SU200
Posts: 280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 41 Post(s)
omg!!!

__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElJamoquio View Post
.... Other than being completely wrong, you're correct.
trsidn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 09:14 AM   #6
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 45 Post(s)
Court, your stories are always good.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 09:45 AM   #7
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
Posts: 6,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
frozen aluminum hand made butt plug. I never thought I would see those words together in that combination. I am still trying to get my mind around the idea of giving my a rectal toy that I had made for her. Now trying to combine that with the goodness that is the fresh baked chocolate chip cookie. I keep getting a fatal error message and my brain shuts down.
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 09:45 AM   #8
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
Posts: 6,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
good story though, very good in fact. thanks.
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 10:48 AM   #9
c0urt
moving target
Thread Starter
 
c0urt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: birmingham, al
Bikes: a masi speciale, and a kuota k-factor.
Posts: 2,828
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
no pics, like i said this was a few years ago, and before i learned you always carry a camera.
c0urt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-07, 11:13 AM   #10
x136 
phony collective progress
 
x136's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Hoosey
Bikes: http://velospace.org/user/36663
Posts: 2,981
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think a picture of a guy with a buttplug in his mouth and chocolate drippings all over his face would stay posted for very long anyway...
__________________
x136 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:53 AM.