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Old 12-02-07, 06:50 PM   #1
lucky53s
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An Age Question

Here is one that always stumped me. How much older or younger will you date? Is it a percentage of your age or a set number? Does it matter if the people in question are 20 or 50. For example, I'm 26, how far older and younger does everyone think is appropriate? My general rule of thumb is 6 years either way. What about you?
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Old 12-02-07, 06:52 PM   #2
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5 years either way. When i was 19 I dated a 29 year old. Best and worse move of my life all in one.
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Old 12-02-07, 06:53 PM   #3
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I have no general rule of thumb it depends on the person. How mature they are, where they are in life etc. With that being said I did see a guy that was 10 years younger then me. It was fun while it lasted
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Old 12-02-07, 06:56 PM   #4
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^^^ Yep. As long as he is mature enough to handle responsiblities and take care of himself. As long as he's not to the point where his dependency is keeping us from growing together.
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Old 12-02-07, 06:56 PM   #5
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I was going to post my answer, but since I haven't really been on a "date" in years...I don't think it really matters.

edit: change years to 'ever'
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Old 12-02-07, 06:57 PM   #6
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^ true, it does depend on the person. But it also depends on your age when you do it. When I was 19, there was WAY too much ground between thmyself and the 29 year old I was dateing. I'm 33 now, I would venture to say that I could date a 40 year old and actually have enough in common with them to have a feesable relationship.
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Old 12-02-07, 06:57 PM   #7
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I have no general rule of thumb it depends on the person. How mature they are, where they are in life etc.
+1. I was involved with a guy 13 years older than me. Except for his criminally-oriented teenage daughter and all that went with that, it was fine. I almost got involved with someone 10 years younger than me. His age was not the reason why it didn't work out.

I'll try nearly anything once.
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Old 12-02-07, 06:58 PM   #8
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It really depends on the maturity, life experience, values, and goals of the two parties involved, doesn't it? There must be some basic compatibility in these areas to have a strong and enduring relationship, regardless of whether the age difference is thirty years or zero.
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Old 12-02-07, 06:58 PM   #9
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I was going to post my answer, but since I haven't really been on a "date" in years...I don't think it really matters.

edit: change years to 'ever'
WHAT??? You should be dating a ton of girls right now. Having fun. Thats what college is all about
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Old 12-02-07, 07:00 PM   #10
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+1. I was involved with a guy 13 years older than me. Except for his criminally-oriented teenage daughter and all that went with that, it was fine. I almost got involved with someone 10 years younger than me. His age was not the reason why it didn't work out.

I'll try nearly anything once.

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Old 12-02-07, 07:00 PM   #11
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WHAT??? You should be dating a ton of girls right now. Having fun. Thats what college is all about
Gee, thanks for the tip.
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Old 12-02-07, 07:02 PM   #12
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I ask because I just met a girl that's 18. That is 8 years. I'm trying to decide if I really like her for her (which I think I do) or if it's just a product of lack of other choices here in Africa. Obviously I'm not jumping into something serious because I just met her and I know she's still young. But at this point I wouldn't fight her off either, I just don't know if it's too big of a gap.
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Old 12-02-07, 07:03 PM   #13
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Gee, thanks for the tip.

your welcome and I forgot studying
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Old 12-02-07, 07:09 PM   #14
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For all the aforementioned reasons, the "gap" usually shouldn't matter. But for those that it does, IMHO it gets larger as you get older (5 yrs +/- at age 25 might become 10 yrs at 50 or 60).

For me, the age difference doesn't matter, but I found that many women are sensitive that they may be too old for a younger fellow.
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Old 12-02-07, 07:13 PM   #15
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I agree with what has been said about matching personality and compatibility overcoming any age barrier. If there is happiness to be found and the relationship is a healthy one, then the age "thing" becomes less of a problem. The biggest issues seem to be when maturity levels don't match up. When I was 17, I dated a 26 year old and I really was not ready for any type of relationship that would stand the test of time. I simply was not mature enough to understand the feelings I had for this person or even what my emotions were telling me at that time. I was certainly not able to handle communication on a deeper level because I was still trying to figure out who I was. Lucky53s, I don't have a problem with an age gap, but you may want to consider the maturity level of this particular 18 y/o before moving forward. You are old enough to know what you seek in another person, take your time to evaluate what is motivating you towards dating this girl.
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Old 12-02-07, 07:14 PM   #16
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I ask because I just met a girl that's 18. That is 8 years. I'm trying to decide if I really like her for her (which I think I do) or if it's just a product of lack of other choices here in Africa. Obviously I'm not jumping into something serious because I just met her and I know she's still young. But at this point I wouldn't fight her off either, I just don't know if it's too big of a gap.
Just be careful. There's a far greater age difference between 18 and 26 than, say, 30 and 38. I was a mature 18, Lucky, but I was still a teenager. If you do this - and I'm not saying don't - you will be the one who has to take responsibility for a great many things. Lower your expectations in the maturity department. On the other hand, I'm sure you are lonely and would just like some companionship. There's nothing wrong with that. Caution would be the key word here.

Does she have her family there?
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Old 12-02-07, 07:14 PM   #17
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+1. I was involved with a guy 13 years older than me. Except for his criminally-oriented teenage daughter and all that went with that, it was fine. I almost got involved with someone 10 years younger than me. His age was not the reason why it didn't work out.

I'll try nearly anything once.
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Old 12-02-07, 07:14 PM   #18
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Old 12-02-07, 07:14 PM   #19
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I was going to post my answer, but since I haven't really been on a "date" in years...I don't think it really matters.

edit: change years to 'ever'
You must have quite a grip.
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Old 12-02-07, 07:19 PM   #20
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I'm 29 and I'm not gonna say how old my boyfriend is because he'd kill me, but let's just say that he has kids older than me.
We've been together 7+ years and everything's great for us. Some people freak out on us sometimes, but oh well. What can you do? Our families are both over it. Dealing with other people's reactions to it is not easy by any means - it gets really exhausting having to explain myself all the time, but he's worth it.

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Old 12-02-07, 07:25 PM   #21
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If anything happens it's going to take a while. We are just hanging out now and will see if anything comes of it. She has no family here either so it will be nice even if we are just friends, it will give us someone to hangout with. If anything more comes of it I'm worried it would just be for fun because in August she goes back to Scotland and I leave here for FL in September. But for now friends is a good place to be.
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Old 12-02-07, 07:26 PM   #22
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(since Mal stole my post, I'll have to actually answer the question...)

*shrug*
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Old 12-02-07, 07:29 PM   #23
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Hey Mal, you're in my age range right? Wanna come teach English in Africa for the next year? We can't ride bikes but we can find some camels I'm sure.
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Old 12-02-07, 07:29 PM   #24
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You must have quite a grip.


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Old 12-02-07, 07:44 PM   #25
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Lately I've been dating women that are 8 or 9 years younger than I am. I think it has to do with the fact that graduate school arrests your personal development. What I mean is that my lifestyle isn't much different than it was when I entered school in my mid twenties. Women my age who are single and working in their careers don't have much of an interest in a guy who's just scraping by while working on his Ph.D.

Like others have said, it's fun while it lasts but I have no desire to enter into a serious relationship with someone who is going through early twenties stuff. I'm just worried that I'm now completely out of touch with people my own age who are not graduate students.
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