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  1. #1
    *****es love tarck kemmer's Avatar
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    Fence jumper trap?

    My backdoor neighbors are a bunch of just outa high school punks that are constantly having parties and doing things just outa high school punks tend to do. Normally I don't really mind, but the other night one of their little parties got busted by the cops which resulted in 50 or so just outa high school punks stampeding through my back yard and waking me up at 2 am, plus a little damage to the fence. My only consolation was that I haven't cleaned the dog **** out of my dog's run in a few days and they all went straight through it.

    That got me thinking though, what if there was something a little more sinister than dog poo waiting for them next time? I'm thinking I'll string 20 or so junker bikes, along with the 20+ rusty wheels I've been saving for my wheel fence across the yard. I'll also spray my side of the the fence with water so it's all icy and the can't climb back over the fence. Then, I'll sit on the back porch with my dog and my neighbors two dogs (all three are big but harmless). Finally I'd pop a bag of popcorn, call the cops, and when the kids come over the fence and get tangled in bikes yell "release the hounds" and watch as best I can through tears of laughter as they try and climb over an icy fence with three barking dogs at their heels.

    Well foosters, is there anything I haven't though of?

  2. #2
    KombuchaCHIC Shadiyah's Avatar
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    LOL sounds like a good way to spend a late Saturday evening!

  3. #3
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
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    Make sure to get a camcorder to show us the footage!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bklyn
    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

  4. #4
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Just gotta make sure it doesn't look like a trap. Just a very, very unfortunately deadly backyard.

    So no pits full of sharpened bamboo, I'm afraid.

  5. #5
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    We had these lined up against our fence. Our house was on the corner and easy access for burglars.





    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  6. #6
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Oooh, those things get nasty when they're big.

  7. #7
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Yep. Lotsa pokies. And you can always tell the cops he ruined your landscaping and want compensation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  8. #8
    Master Surfer of Curbs glenng's Avatar
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    I witnessed the exact same thing (exactly the same thing) about 10 years ago when I was single and renting. I would build the fench higher if possible. I would not want to slow their departure from my yard in the least. Signs facing property in question stating "Trespassers will be shot on sight, survivors will be shot again" might be funny. At least it will get the property owners attention.
    Glenn

  9. #9
    Master Surfer of Curbs glenng's Avatar
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    Then again bear traps would totally kick ass.
    Glenn

  10. #10
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    Rocksalt loaded into shotgun shells?
    www.teamnavycycling.org
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  11. #11
    Senior Member ken cummings's Avatar
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    Utah is one of the more reasonable states. In a more lawsuit happy area anyone hurt on the bikes would start suing if injured. Also many towns have limits on fence height. Naturally thorny plants as a solid, continuous hedge are perfect. Check with a local native plant nursery to save on water. In Northern California I'd go for black Hawthorne mingled with Himalayan blackberry vines.
    This space open

  12. #12
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ken cummings View Post
    In a more lawsuit happy area anyone hurt on the bikes would start suing if injured.
    I hate this crap. You know what? If you're trespassing on my property, **** you if you get hurt.

  13. #13
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    oooooooooooooooo X cussed.

    So how do you get the ban button to work now?
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  14. #14
    Master Surfer of Curbs glenng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    oooooooooooooooo X cussed.

    So how do you get the ban button to work now?

    Sue happy/Ban happy californians
    Glenn

  15. #15
    Cheers! 2wheeled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by x136 View Post
    I hate this crap. You know what? If you're trespassing on my property, **** you if you get hurt.

    Well, you remember a robber who broke into a family's house the day before they left for vacation. He was in their garage and then hid when they left so they wouldn't know he was in their garage. It turns out he was locked in their garage for 2 weeks until they came home from vacation and had to live on bags of dog food. He actually pressed charges, saying they caused him brain trauma. But you know the worst part? He won the case.

    NOW let's hear you swear

  16. #16
    Mr. Maximan1 maximan1's Avatar
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    Just dig a hugeass pit 6 feet wide 20 feet deep all around your fence.

  17. #17
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2wheeled View Post
    Well, you remember a robber who broke into a family's house the day before they left for vacation. He was in their garage and then hid when they left so they wouldn't know he was in their garage. It turns out he was locked in their garage for 2 weeks until they came home from vacation and had to live on bags of dog food. He actually pressed charges, saying they caused him brain trauma. But you know the worst part? He won the case.

    NOW let's hear you swear
    Should have vacationed longer. Dead people don't sue.

  18. #18
    Footballus vita est iamlucky13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SingingSabre View Post
    Make sure to get a camcorder to show us the footage!
    Youtube! Youtube! Youtube!
    "The internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. You need to take advantage of that." ~ Strong Bad

  19. #19
    (((Fully Awake))) Serendipper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glenng View Post
    Then again bear traps would totally kick ass.

    **** that. Just use the bears.


    I want to see somebody try to get past my bears trap.
    __________________________________________________________________________________________________

    無上甚深微妙法 .... 百千萬劫難遭遇..... 我今見聞得受持

  20. #20
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Just wait until you get attacked by even bigger bears. Then you'll wish you'd opted for bear traps.

  21. #21
    *****es love tarck kemmer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by x136 View Post
    Just wait until you get attacked by even bigger bears. Then you'll wish you'd opted for bear traps.
    Oh snap, I was with Serendipper till you said this. I think I'll go with bear traps. A bears trap would definitely be cooler though.

    Seriously though, I don't care that they crossed through my yard, I just want a little youtube fame. It's not very often that you have both the ability to perfectly predict the behavior of a large group of people, the chance to plan ahead AND the advantage of home turf. I think I'd be a fool not to take advantage.

  22. #22
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glenng View Post
    Sue happy/Ban happy californians
    I'm a Siu happy Arizonan!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bklyn
    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

  23. #23
    Senior Member tasr's Avatar
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    Pungi Stakes…………but check your local laws first.
    James

  24. #24
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    You mentioned a dog in the op, yes? Well, dogs dig holes to bury bones in and if your dog has a lot of bones and you have all these gopher holes in your yard and someone running across your yard in the dark were to plant a foot in one of these holes at speed...

    See where I'm going with this.

  25. #25
    Crushing souls Hickeydog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
    You mentioned a dog in the op, yes? Well, dogs dig holes to bury bones in and if your dog has a lot of bones and you have all these gopher holes in your yard and someone running across your yard in the dark were to plant a foot in one of these holes at speed...

    See where I'm going with this.
    can you say, broken ankles????
    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

    What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.

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