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Thread: IQ & Dating

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    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    IQ & Dating

    It's been asked about age discrepancies.
    So, how far outside of your IQ range will you date?
    I ask because I've been asked out by a super sweet, bubbly personality, infectious smile, good looking dingbat. And not one who fakes being a dingbat, but the real live thing.
    I'm worried about the pause in conversation stretching out from moments to long minutes.

    Oh, and my brother texting me about "hot Corky lovin'" lost the funny the third time. I'm going to let the air out of his car's tires and leave a hand pump on his hood before I go out tonight.

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    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Is this to find a life long mate? or just to have a little fun?

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    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllenG View Post
    So, how far outside of your IQ range will you date?
    Not far.
    "Real wars of words are harder to win. They require thought, insight, precision, articulation, knowledge, and experience. They require the humility to admit when you are wrong. They recognize that the dialectic is not about making us look at you, but about us all looking together for the truth."

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    Disgruntled Planner bpohl's Avatar
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    Bang her a couple times and forget about it.
    Don't waste your breath to save your face when you have done your best.

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    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    Is this to find a life long mate? or just to have a little fun?
    Not in the mood for a one nighter. Life long? Way, way too soon to even consider such things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    Is this to find a life long mate? or just to have a little fun?
    that sounds awful, someone smart enough should know better then calling someone not so blessed with intelligence a "dingbat".
    but now that he recognised that this intellectual gap will be a handicap in pursuing anything further, then why take advantage of this sweet girl he described and just use her for sex.
    Im sorry, I thought of not typing anything at all but i thought both the OP and this comment of just having a little fun with someone whom he insulted and called a dingbat because she might not be as blessed as him was just really cruel, never mind also using her for sex.

    *edit* I think allen just cleared up that possibility... makes me feel much better..

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    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllenG View Post
    Not in the mood for a one nighter. Life long? Way, way too soon to even consider such things.
    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl View Post
    that sounds awful, someone smart enough should know better then calling someone not so blessed with intelligence a "dingbat".
    but now that he recognised that this intellectual gap will be a handicap in pursuing anything further, then why take advantage of this sweet girl he described and just use her for sex.
    Im sorry, I thought of not typing anything at all but i thought both the OP and this comment of just having a little fun with someone whom he insulted and called a dingbat because she might not be as blessed as him was just really cruel, never mind also using her for sex.

    Whoa! slow down there.....all I said was "for fun". That does not have to be using her for sex.
    I have several "freinds" that I can hang out with on occasion and not have sex with. Several of these freinds have IQ's that are substantially lower than mine (or they refuse to use what the good lord gave them), but I can still have a fun time hanging out with them for a couple hours....maybe 3. They are fun to play pool with, go to a movie, bike ride, fishing, etc.....that's what I meant.

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    ..... Jynx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllenG View Post
    So, how far outside of your IQ range will you date?
    The only ones I can convince/trick to go out with me seem to be far away from my IQ level.

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    Seņor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    I never viewed dating like that. I mainly considered whether the person was pleasant to be with. If you feel uncomfortable being with someone because you can't hold a conversation with them, then it won't be pleasant. But if you're not already certain, and the person seems to be happy, courteous, supportive, (or whatever adjectives apply), how much harm can one date be? If it doesn't work out, just be honest and simply remain friends or acquaintences.

    Many, many years ago, - back when I was single, in the Navy and in the San Diego area - my cousin's wife encouraged me to go on a date with one of her friends. She was nice, was not unattractive, and rather intelligent. She was rather timid, and I'm not the most extroverted person there is either. We went to a comedy club, and the comedy was quite good. The conversation was quite forced, and on the way back, we both realized that one date was enough. We were civil about things, but went our separate ways.

    Fast forward about three years, and I'm just getting out of the Navy with a wife and very young daughter, looking to start civilian life in San Diego, rather than Hawaii. My job is crappy, savings are running out, and we don't have a place to live. Who gives me the lead on a condo that we can simply assume the payments on? Yeppers, it was the girl (still single) I went on the date with.

    Go ahead, Allen, try to have a good time with your date, and don't get bogged down in thinking about things too much. With her bubbly personality, all you'll have to do is identify some common interest that you have, and everything will take care of itself. If things get stuck, ask her questions - favorite memories from school, what her parents are/were like, what foods she likes, what her hobbies are... Worst case, she talks your ear off and you're slightly bored. Not too terrible in the grand scheme of things...
    The search for inner peace continues...

  10. #10
    some new kind of kick Suttree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllenG View Post
    It's been asked about age discrepancies.
    So, how far outside of your IQ range will you date?
    I ask because I've been asked out by a super sweet, bubbly personality, infectious smile, good looking dingbat. And not one who fakes being a dingbat, but the real live thing.
    I'm worried about the pause in conversation stretching out from moments to long minutes.

    Oh, and my brother texting me about "hot Corky lovin'" lost the funny the third time. I'm going to let the air out of his car's tires and leave a hand pump on his hood before I go out tonight.
    I say tell this person thanks but no thanks in the nicest way possible. Hustling someone who is
    not as smart as you into the sack is like taking candy from kids--not fair and too easy for you.
    Given that she may not discern that you are scamming her and thus not be complicit in a
    meaningless fling it isn't emotionally fair to lead her on.

    I also don't fiind lack of intelligence sexy--smarts on the other hand is extremely sexy in a woman--

    Think of it this way--if you are far outside of another person's IQ range (as in higher) they will never totally get your motivations or reasoning, or responses to things--and thus you won't really connect. Which, ultimately is the point--so why mess around with junk food--go for the real thing.

  11. #11
    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'm not the kind to take advantage of another.
    Dingbat--I couldn't think of a word that means "less intelligent" that was not derogatory to some degree, so I picked one that did not feel mean spirited to me.

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    Love that dirty water JoesInBoston's Avatar
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    I am sure Allen meant dingbat with the utmost possible degree of fondness......

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    My incredibly high IQ forces me to look for women far below me.

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    Senior Member mtnwalker's Avatar
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    Its all about compatibility in my case. I've never really looked at a persons IQ level when I was going out. People may seem to be below your level but once you know them further they may totally surprise you. People are usually blessed and balanced out with other traits that you may not be aware with.

    I've met women who are very intelligent but incapable of being pleasant to be around with. And I've met women who are not rocket scientists but are so practical that you can spend your life with them. Point is take her out and try to know her better.

    She could be rich, you know.
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    Banned. timmyquest's Avatar
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    There are actually studies on this very topic. Lets just summarize in saying that men are less worried about IQ until it comes to marriage, but even then they are less worried than women.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AllenG View Post
    Yeah, I'm not the kind to take advantage of another.
    Dingbat--I couldn't think of a word that means "less intelligent" that was not derogatory to some degree, so I picked one that did not feel mean spirited to me.
    this is why I just deleted my second reply, I knew you'd explain, the dingbat sounded mean spirited to me but now I can see this was not your attempt. sorry Allen, I was taken back and I hated the idea of taking advantage of a ladie that may not be as blessed but sound sweet.

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    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    No worries Karen. Thanks, btw.

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    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
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    No far off. I can't deal with an extreme differences in intelligence.

    In the same context, I can't deal with extreme similarities in personality. There needs to be something different so there can be good conversation.

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    Idiosey is contageous. Run away. Its two late four me, butt maybe I can still help uthers.
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    Senior Member mtnwalker's Avatar
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    You guys mean to tell me then that none of you men will date Jessica Simpson if given a chance?
    "Of all the things I like bestos, I like asbestos." - A co-worker

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    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
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    I consider myself very, very fortunate and it might be part of the reason we are still together after 26+ years. I am supposed to be pretty smart (more than that) and I was not doing well finding anyone even close. Then I found my wife who is not only very smart, but very good looking too! It took six months to convince her to marry me - I figured if I lost her, I might never get another chance. There is six years difference between us (she is older) but that isn't nearly as important as intelligence. Besides, now she looks younger than I... I tell her it is obvious that I have been easier on her than she on me...

    My wife thinks I am smarter than her - which is saying something. I can't imagine being around anyone who would think my eternal curiosity was irritating. Nor could I stand someone telling me all the latest gossip all the time.

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    Banned Indy_Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnwalker View Post
    You guys mean to tell me then that none of you men will date Jessica Simpson if given a chance?
    Do her, yes. Date her, no. Her looks could eventually go south and then what would you be left with?

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    Climbing Above It All BikeWNC's Avatar
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    There are many kinds of intelligence. While some people are obviously well educated and shall we say book smart, others have street savvy. You might be surprised by her. Sometimes a person that seems to show all their cards in the first 10 seconds of meeting has more depth than initially apparent. There is something to be said for bubbly and spontaneous. That type of personality might be the perfect yin to your yang, drawing you out and creating the basis for a good relationship. Unless you are repulsed by her and you absolutely know it won't work, I wouldn't be so fast to write her off. Go out and have fun. The worst that can happen is you go your separate ways. Perhaps you'll make a friend.

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    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnwalker View Post
    You guys mean to tell me then that none of you men will date Jessica Simpson if given a chance?
    No

  25. #25
    Senior Member mtnwalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indy_Rider View Post
    Do her, yes. Date her, no. Her looks could eventually go south and then what would you be left with?
    Yeah, but her looks are not going south for a while. Long after your date is over, yes?

    Bunch of liars.
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