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  1. #1
    Banned.
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    Chopped off his Willy.

    A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

    The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
    Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.
    You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something
    happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was
    chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."

    The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance
    compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a
    new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But
    the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
    The man perks up at this.

    "So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want.
    But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a
    five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be
    a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to
    invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's
    important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

    The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.

    "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

    "I have," says the man.

    "And has she helped you in making the decision?"

    "She has," says the man.

    "And what is it?" asks the doctor.

    "We're getting a new kitchen."

  2. #2
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Ha-Ha

  3. #3
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    That's not much for a kitchen
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  4. #4
    Senior Member SingleSpeeDemon's Avatar
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    True...granite countertops or a Sub Zero refrigerator will wipe out most of that, if not all plus more.
    My Current Bikes:

    • 1993 Giant Kronos
    • 1974 Zeus (in restoration)
    • Cruzbike Silvio

  5. #5
    Sister Annie Sianelle's Avatar
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    Now that is one wise woman
    OMNIPOTENS aeterne Deus, qui nos secundum imaginem Tuam plasmasti, et omnia bona, vera, pulchra, praesertim in divina persona Unigeniti Filii Tui Domini nostri Iesu Christi, quaerere iussisti, praesta quaesumus ut, per intercessionem Sancti Isidori, Episcopi et Doctoris, in peregrinationibus per interrete factis et manus oculosque ad quae Tibi sunt placita intendamus et omnes quos convenimus cum caritate ac patientia accipiamus. Per Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.

  6. #6
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    They might get more kitchen for their money if they do some dickering.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  7. #7
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    heh, we did a pretty modest kitchen and it took almost 20k
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  8. #8
    Banned.
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    Quote Originally Posted by trsidn View Post
    heh, we did a pretty modest kitchen and it took almost 20k
    You must have been very well endowed.

    fixed

  9. #9
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trsidn View Post
    heh, we did a pretty modest kitchen and it took almost 20k
    dang, what all did you lose in your car wreck?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  10. #10
    Banned.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    dang, what all did you lose in your car wreck?
    Apparently a couple feet.

    (or just a couple inches shy of it.)

  11. #11
    Forum Admin lotek's Avatar
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    crap, the oven is almost $8000
    Sono pił lento di quel che sembra.
    Odio la gente, tutti.

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  12. #12
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    dang, what all did you lose in your car wreck?
    my *****?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  13. #13
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    dang... censored.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    I on the other hand would be getting a divorce.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  15. #15
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    They might get more kitchen for their money if they do some dickering.
    Heh, heh... you said DICKering

  16. #16
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trsidn View Post
    That's not much for a kitchen
    Or a willy.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Lamplight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
    Heh, heh... you said DICKering
    I'm glad someone else noticed that.

  18. #18
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
    Ha-Ha
    I just re-upped on popcorn - have a no butter and a greasy-double butter butter - want one?

    <crunch, crunch>

  19. #19
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Extra butter please.

  20. #20
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
    Extra butter please.
    dam gurly - you're right up with me <Tude does a sly slide left and does a sly "popcorn inspection" ...> or ... maybe not. You have WAY more than I do left <Tude now enacts the infamous "double sleeve corn-o-lio play" and pours 1/2 of popcorn down fake arm ---- 007 should really meet Tude>.


    Um, say <shakes kernally empty container> you gots some left?

    ::sheepish grin::



    Ya know, I swears there was a little ratty in here ... but I can't be sure.

    Anyway ... cough up baybeh - I likes me popcorns.



    <crunch!>




    Oh come on - you guys just want to say it!!!


    Corn-O-Lio play!! ya know it means a 007 move on a popcorn mistress ya know .....

  21. #21
    Dammit!
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    I have no idea what you just said.

  22. #22
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NaBlade View Post
    I have no idea what you just said.
    <snicker>

    hehe perhaps that's a good thing .. time to order out for popcorn now ...

  23. #23
    Mr. Maximan1 maximan1's Avatar
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    I Dont Get It

  24. #24
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NaBlade View Post
    I have no idea what you just said.
    You are not alone. Seldom do I fully understand the entire tudespeak.

    Perhaps it's just as well the ramblings of a mad woman can drive you insane.

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