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Old 01-04-08, 12:53 PM   #1
Portis
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Chopped off his Willy.

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something
happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was
chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance
compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a
new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But
the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
The man perks up at this.

"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want.
But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a
five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be
a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to
invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's
important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.

"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you in making the decision?"

"She has," says the man.

"And what is it?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting a new kitchen."
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Old 01-04-08, 01:05 PM   #2
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Ha-Ha
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Old 01-04-08, 02:56 PM   #3
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That's not much for a kitchen
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Old 01-04-08, 02:58 PM   #4
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True...granite countertops or a Sub Zero refrigerator will wipe out most of that, if not all plus more.
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Old 01-04-08, 03:04 PM   #5
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Now that is one wise woman
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Old 01-04-08, 03:08 PM   #6
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They might get more kitchen for their money if they do some dickering.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 01-04-08, 03:12 PM   #7
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heh, we did a pretty modest kitchen and it took almost 20k
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Old 01-04-08, 03:12 PM   #8
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heh, we did a pretty modest kitchen and it took almost 20k
You must have been very well endowed.

fixed
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Old 01-04-08, 03:13 PM   #9
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heh, we did a pretty modest kitchen and it took almost 20k
dang, what all did you lose in your car wreck?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 01-04-08, 03:15 PM   #10
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dang, what all did you lose in your car wreck?
Apparently a couple feet.

(or just a couple inches shy of it.)
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Old 01-04-08, 03:20 PM   #11
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crap, the oven is almost $8000
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Old 01-04-08, 03:20 PM   #12
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dang, what all did you lose in your car wreck?
my *****?
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Old 01-04-08, 03:21 PM   #13
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dang... censored.
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Old 01-04-08, 03:24 PM   #14
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I on the other hand would be getting a divorce.
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Old 01-04-08, 05:30 PM   #15
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They might get more kitchen for their money if they do some dickering.
Heh, heh... you said DICKering
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Old 01-04-08, 05:40 PM   #16
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That's not much for a kitchen
Or a willy.
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Old 01-04-08, 06:42 PM   #17
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Heh, heh... you said DICKering
I'm glad someone else noticed that.
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Old 01-04-08, 07:11 PM   #18
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Ha-Ha
I just re-upped on popcorn - have a no butter and a greasy-double butter butter - want one?

<crunch, crunch>
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Old 01-04-08, 07:24 PM   #19
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Extra butter please.
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Old 01-04-08, 07:35 PM   #20
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Extra butter please.
dam gurly - you're right up with me <Tude does a sly slide left and does a sly "popcorn inspection" ...> or ... maybe not. You have WAY more than I do left <Tude now enacts the infamous "double sleeve corn-o-lio play" and pours 1/2 of popcorn down fake arm ---- 007 should really meet Tude>.


Um, say <shakes kernally empty container> you gots some left?

::sheepish grin::



Ya know, I swears there was a little ratty in here ... but I can't be sure.

Anyway ... cough up baybeh - I likes me popcorns.



<crunch!>




Oh come on - you guys just want to say it!!!


Corn-O-Lio play!! ya know it means a 007 move on a popcorn mistress ya know .....
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Old 01-04-08, 08:10 PM   #21
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I have no idea what you just said.
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Old 01-04-08, 08:18 PM   #22
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I have no idea what you just said.
<snicker>

hehe perhaps that's a good thing .. time to order out for popcorn now ...
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Old 01-04-08, 08:33 PM   #23
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I Dont Get It
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Old 01-05-08, 05:21 AM   #24
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I have no idea what you just said.
You are not alone. Seldom do I fully understand the entire tudespeak.

Perhaps it's just as well the ramblings of a mad woman can drive you insane.
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