Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-11-08, 01:45 PM   #1
FlatMaster
Genius
Thread Starter
 
FlatMaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Auburn, AL
Bikes: Specilized Sirrus
Posts: 324
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What's the best way to die

Make up a story where you die herocally, ironically, orgasmicly, whatever. Only rule, it must somehow involve your ride.


I am Steve, the on-site organ collector. I get a call that there's a fatal accident on the intersection of first and main. Naturally, I show up with my tools to harvest the organs so they can be transplanted more quickly. I shove the organs in my bag and petal to Grandview Hospital with Tommy's new heart. Unfortunately, a rival organ courier spots me with my load. He cuts me off into oncomming traffic where I tragically take a spill into a landscaper's truck, taking a chainsaw to the chest. The doctors said I could have been saved if only a donor heart could have been delivered in time.
FlatMaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 01:48 PM   #2
ChiefCatchacold
Roller Coaster
 
ChiefCatchacold's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Gardner, Kansas
Bikes: Trek 2300, Fisher Cobia
Posts: 148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
snu snu!
ChiefCatchacold is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 01:50 PM   #3
edzo
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Bikes:
Posts: 1,564
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OP, your first post is this ?


btw, death by snu snu is the -only- way to go
edzo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 01:51 PM   #4
KingTermite 
On my TARDIScycle!
 
KingTermite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
Bikes: Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
Posts: 3,924
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by edzo View Post
your first post is this ?


btw, snu snu is the -only- way to go
You are just jealous because you didn't think of this fantastic idea!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
KingTermite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 01:54 PM   #5
Portis
Banned.
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Home alone
Bikes: Trek 4300 X 2. Trek 1000, Trek 6000
Posts: 6,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The best way is to get clobbered by an 18 wheeler doing 70 mph while you are riding on a peaceful two lane country road.


(OK, so maybe it isn't the best way, but probably the most likely.)
Portis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:00 PM   #6
edzo
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Bikes:
Posts: 1,564
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
You are just jealous because you didn't think of this fantastic idea!
no, I started dying 2 years ago. now it's just a waiting game.
edzo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:03 PM   #7
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
Posts: 6,157
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
peacefully, in my sleep, not screaming and terrified like the passengers in my car will be.
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:04 PM   #8
KingTermite 
On my TARDIScycle!
 
KingTermite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
Bikes: Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
Posts: 3,924
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
While riding my normal route to work I witness a purse snatching. Some brute steals the purse of what looks like a nice lovely old lady. Not letting this happen on "my watch", I start riding after the perp. He jumps on to a moving train that is just leaving. I quickly put my bike on the track and ride perfectly down the rail line following the train. Just as the train is coming to a canyon through the mountains, I lose my balance trying to jump on to the train.

I start to fall the 3000 foot gap, but as I'm falling I get scooped up by a giant eagle (like from LOTR).
The eagle takes me to his nest where I sit cold because of the altitude. As I'm trying to sleep in the nest, a flying saucer comes by and tractor beams me into their ship. "Oh great" I think.....time for the alien probe schtick. This is NOT what I wanted to happen.

Aboard the alien ship, they don't probe me, but put me on an observation cell type thing. These aliens are beautiful green creatures with 3 perfectly formed breasts and other than that seem to be anatomically the same as humans. They seem to find me fascinating and remove my clothes to see if I am anatomically the same as their males. It seems I am.

You see this ship was an all female scouting mission as their military segregates the men and women. Well, you see they are a very sexual race and decide they all want to see how humans are sexually. So for weeks aboard their vessel, I am given a king's treatment with anything to eat or drink I want, but I am "forced" to have sex in all kinds of various ways with these beautiful creatures. Eventually, I die from exhaustion, naked on bed of beautiful green alien females.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
KingTermite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:04 PM   #9
KingTermite 
On my TARDIScycle!
 
KingTermite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
Bikes: Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
Posts: 3,924
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
peacefully, in my sleep, not screaming and terrified like the passengers in my car will be.
Hey dingleberry....rules were you had to be on your bike.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
KingTermite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:05 PM   #10
LowCel 
Throw the stick!!!!
 
LowCel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Charleston, WV
Bikes: GMC Denali
Posts: 17,588
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by edzo View Post
no, I started dying 2 years ago. now it's just a waiting game.
I started 32 years ago, that was the only thing I was promised when I was born.
__________________
I may be fat but I'm slow enough to make up for it.
LowCel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:05 PM   #11
FlatMaster
Genius
Thread Starter
 
FlatMaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Auburn, AL
Bikes: Specilized Sirrus
Posts: 324
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Portis View Post
The best way is to get clobbered by an 18 wheeler doing 70 mph while you are riding on a peaceful two lane country road.


(OK, so maybe it isn't the best way, but probably the most likely.)

I say Clobbered by a 70 wheeler doing 18. And taking each of the 70 wheels to the groin
FlatMaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:07 PM   #12
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
Posts: 6,157
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
Hey dingleberry....rules were you had to be on your bike.
I drive a pedal car in my reality.
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:12 PM   #13
KingTermite 
On my TARDIScycle!
 
KingTermite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
Bikes: Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
Posts: 3,924
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
I drive a pedal car in my reality.
Oh....OK, no worries then.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
KingTermite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:21 PM   #14
LowCel 
Throw the stick!!!!
 
LowCel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Charleston, WV
Bikes: GMC Denali
Posts: 17,588
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I once told my wife that I thought the best way to die was 180 mph into a brick wall while riding a motorcycle. That was a huge mistake, it took me years of begging to finally get a crotch rocket after making that comment. For some reason she finally "let" me get it right after she upped my life insurance.
__________________
I may be fat but I'm slow enough to make up for it.
LowCel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:23 PM   #15
MillCreek
BF Risk Manager
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Snohomish County, Washington USA
Bikes: Road, mountain and folding
Posts: 894
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I want to leave the world naked, screaming, and covered with someone else's blood, the same way I entered it.
MillCreek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:27 PM   #16
Michigander
Senior Member
 
Michigander's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Bikes: Giant ATX 1200, Schwinn Peleton
Posts: 1,724
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 54 Post(s)
Death by snu snu would be ideal, but if that's not an option, assuming I get almost old enough to need assisted living, I would like to die on a motorcycle doing over 200 miles an hour. No nursing home for me.
__________________
Bring back the Sig Test!


(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Michigander is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:47 PM   #17
explody pup
Guest
 
Bikes:
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiefCatchacold View Post
snu snu!
Three explorers were captured by natives while navigating a remote tributary of the Amazon. Bound and gaged, they were brought before the tribe's elder.

The elder cut the first man's gag and asked, "Death or Roo Roo?"

The explorer yelled out, "Roo Roo!" not knowing what it meant but being certain that it couldn't be worse than dieing.

Everyone in the village then loudly rejoiced and took turns having buttsex with the poor man. This went on all day until, with his life intact but his will to live broken, he was released and ran (hobbled, actually) into the forest, never to be seen again.

The elder then cut the second man's gag and asked, "Death or Roo Roo?"

The second explorer now knew the meaning of that foul word. But there would only be one, possibly two men in the world outside this village who would know what happened and they'd likely not talk. Even so, living in shame is certainly better than death, right?

In a defeated whisper, the man said, "Roo Roo."

Again, the villagers loudly cheered and proceeded again with the buttsexing all night until dawn when the explorer was released to his fate in the dangerous jungle.

Now the elder turned to the last explorer, cut his gag and said, "Death or Roo Roo..."

This last explorer was the leader of the group, resolute and proud and would suffer no indignity. Like the captain of a sinking ship, he would prefer to die with honor than to live with anything less.

"I choose DEATH!" the last man said and spat at the elder's feet.

The villagers cheered louder and rejoiced more than he had previously seen.

After dancing and laughing with his fellow villagers, the elder returned to the explorer. "Ahhhhhhhh," he said while rubbing his hands, "Death by Roo Roo!"
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 02:49 PM   #18
Portis
Banned.
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Home alone
Bikes: Trek 4300 X 2. Trek 1000, Trek 6000
Posts: 6,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
I drive a pedal car in my reality.
Portis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 04:41 PM   #19
Tom Stormcrowe
Out fishing with Annie on his lap, a cigar in one hand and a ginger ale in the other, watching the sunset.
 
Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: South Florida
Bikes: Techna Wheelchair and a Sun EZ 3 Recumbent Trike
Posts: 16,120
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OK, in the course of the ride, the Universe winks out of existence and I never feel a thing.
__________________
. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
Tom Stormcrowe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 04:58 PM   #20
operator
cab horn
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto
Bikes: 1987 Bianchi Campione
Posts: 28,306
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
#17 fails at being funny
operator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 05:03 PM   #21
Tom Stormcrowe
Out fishing with Annie on his lap, a cigar in one hand and a ginger ale in the other, watching the sunset.
 
Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: South Florida
Bikes: Techna Wheelchair and a Sun EZ 3 Recumbent Trike
Posts: 16,120
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by operator View Post
#17 fails at being funny
and it doesn't involve a bike at all.

DQ!
__________________
. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
Tom Stormcrowe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 05:12 PM   #22
CliftonGK1
Senior Member
 
CliftonGK1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Columbus, OH
Bikes: '08 Surly Cross-Check, 2011 Redline Conquest Pro, 2012 Spesh FSR Comp EVO, 2015 Trek Domane 6.2 disc
Posts: 11,380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Bombing down Pike St on my way to get some donuts at the market, I hit a pothole at 55mph and my front wheel explodes in a hail of spokes and snapped rim fragments. I'm flung over the bars so hard that I Superman it the rest of the way down the hill and smack face-first into the giant brass pig at the entrace to Pike Place Market right in front of a busload of horrified camera wielding tourists who've been watching the fish throwers. 5 seconds later, my bike finishes sliding down the hill and comes to a stop at my twitching feet. My dying thought is "Dang... I never did get my cinnamon donuts."
__________________
"I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
- Mandi M.
CliftonGK1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 05:13 PM   #23
Stacey
Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP)
 
Stacey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Bikes:
Posts: 9,161
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by edzo View Post
no, I started dying 2 years ago. now it's just a waiting game.
You too, eh? Wanna have a slow race?
__________________
Stacey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 05:35 PM   #24
explody pup
Guest
 
Bikes:
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by operator View Post
#17 fails at being funny
Can we still be friends?
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-08, 05:43 PM   #25
x136 
phony collective progress
 
x136's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Hoosey
Bikes: http://velospace.org/user/36663
Posts: 2,981
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Buried alive while drowning. Uh, on a bike. Epic.
__________________
x136 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:27 AM.