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Thread: Alice's

  1. #1
    Senior Member ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Alice's

    This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the
    Restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,
    That's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice's
    Restaurant.
    1 bronze, 0 silver, 1 gold

  2. #2
    Generated Member trsidn's Avatar
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    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

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    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    We used to ride our bikes there every Sunday.

    http://tasteofthesuburbs.blogspot.co...-woodside.html
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  4. #4
    The quieter you become... Falkon's Avatar
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    You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant.
    Quote Originally Posted by TechKnowGN
    San Jose has to be the most boring place I've ever been. And I live in Ohio.

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    King of the Plukers Spreggy's Avatar
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    mother rapers and father stabbers, ............................... and father rapers.
    “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
    ― Muhammad Ali

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    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
    wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
    guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
    KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
    he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
    yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,
    sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

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    Senior Member hanshananigan's Avatar
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    I've spent some time on the bench that says "Group W." But I've rehabilitated myself.
    Hi!

    Location: Richmond, VA
    Style: XC, Mid-Atlantic roots, rocks, and poison ivy
    Rides: 2006 K2 Apache 6.0, 2001 K2 Razorback Team

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I like to drink herbal tea at Herb's Cafe.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

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    Generated Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Kid, have you ever been arrested?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

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    Villainous huerro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trsidn View Post
    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant.
    excepting Alice.

  11. #11
    Generated Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Yanno, I caught that movie on cable here not too long ago. I never realized how truly awful the movie was 30 odd years ago....
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  12. #12
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the
    restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,
    that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice's
    Restaurant.

    You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
    You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
    Walk right in it's around the back
    Just a half a mile from the railroad track
    You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

    Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on
    Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
    restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the
    church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
    Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
    room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
    seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't
    have to take out their garbage for a long time.

    We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be
    a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
    we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
    microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
    on toward the city dump.

    Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the
    dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump
    closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
    into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

    We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
    side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
    cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
    is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
    decided to throw our's down.

    That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
    dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the
    next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
    we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
    garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." And
    I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
    under that garbage."

    After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
    finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down
    and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the
    police officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
    shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the
    police officer's station.

    Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at
    the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
    being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and
    we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out
    and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,
    which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's station
    there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
    both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I
    can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
    Get in the back of the patrol car."

    And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
    quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
    Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stop
    signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
    Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
    being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
    get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
    cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station.
    They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
    they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
    and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
    one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,
    the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to
    mention the aerial photography.

    After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
    us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want your
    wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my
    wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
    want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I
    said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?"
    Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the
    toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took
    out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the
    toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie
    was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice
    (remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
    nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
    to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,
    and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

    We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
    colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
    of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
    and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
    pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
    sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
    twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
    and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
    And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
    and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
    'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
    blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the
    judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
    pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
    one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
    we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
    what I came to tell you about.

    Came to talk about the draft.

    They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
    where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
    neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one
    day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
    I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
    look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
    to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
    and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
    kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave
    me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."

    And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
    wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
    guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
    KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
    he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
    yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,
    sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

    Didn't feel too good about it.

    Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
    detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me
    at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four
    hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty
    ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was
    inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no
    part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
    last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
    and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
    one question. Have you ever been arrested?"

    And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
    with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all
    the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever
    go to court?"

    And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
    colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
    the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want
    you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

    And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
    where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
    committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
    looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
    rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
    they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
    bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
    father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
    'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
    and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
    $50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
    And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
    there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
    said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
    and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
    father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
    bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of
    things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
    up and said.

    "Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-
    know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-
    you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-
    officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for
    forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
    fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
    and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
    down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
    pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
    other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on
    the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
    following words:

    ("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

    I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
    ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm
    sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench
    'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
    kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and
    said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints
    off to Washington."

    And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a
    study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm
    singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
    situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a
    situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk into
    the shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
    anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if
    one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and
    they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
    they may think they're both ******s and they won't take either of them.
    And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
    singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an
    organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said
    fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
    walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

    And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
    all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the
    guitar.

    With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
    sing it when it does. Here it comes.

    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
    Walk right in it's around the back
    Just a half a mile from the railroad track
    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

    That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
    I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
    for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

    So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part
    harmony and feeling.

    We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

    All right now.

    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
    Excepting Alice
    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
    Walk right in it's around the back
    Just a half a mile from the railroad track
    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

    Da da da da da da da dum
    At Alice's Restaurant
    www.teamnavycycling.org
    2010 Pivot Mach 429
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  13. #13
    Your imaginary friend. fuzzbox's Avatar
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    Can you really get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant?

    Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.

  14. #14
    moving target c0urt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzbox View Post
    Can you really get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant?
    well, except the alice
    how to tape your bars http://www.flickr.com/photos/89572419@N00/sets/72157629279270681/

  15. #15
    Prefers Cicero cooker's Avatar
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    My kids had never heard that song before and we were almost home in the car and it wasn't over, so I went in the roundabout and we kept going round until it finished. The lady on the balcony looked puzzled.

  16. #16
    ★ ★ ★
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    i don't want a pickle, i just wanna ride on my motor-cycle.
    and i don't wanna die, i just wanna ride on my motorcy-cle.

  17. #17
    hello roadfix's Avatar
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    I've ridden by The Source, where Annie Hall was filmed.
    But I've never eaten there.

  18. #18
    Senior Member
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    Who the **** is Alice. Dr. Hook.
    "harder" is not a very good safeword.

  19. #19
    Senior Member
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    Is it Thanksgiving already?

    JB
    "Poor Reverend Hamilton! He worked so hard, got a mountain named after him and now all anyone wants to do is complain about his backside!" Overheard while climbing Mt. Hamilton

    Check out my cycling blog.

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