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Old 03-25-08, 07:26 PM   #1
referee54
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Some Important Sayings To Live By...

1. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
2. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. Never lick a steak knife.
5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
6. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic
7. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
8. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
9. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
10. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.


Any others?

Tim C.
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Old 03-25-08, 07:51 PM   #2
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6. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic
Apples and oranges. A more apt comparison would be the Ark being built by one guy, and the Death Star being built by a large group of professionals.
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Old 03-25-08, 08:10 PM   #3
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Don't let yer meat loaf.
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Ski, bike and wish I was gay.
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Old 03-25-08, 08:48 PM   #4
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Never pass a bathroom

Never waste an erection

Never trust a fart
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Old 03-25-08, 08:53 PM   #5
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If you live in NYC don't name your dog taxi.
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Old 03-25-08, 09:01 PM   #6
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The "honor" speech.











Get on 'er, and stay on 'er!


[EDIT]
If you think you can't, you're right.

Last edited by Ecks51; 03-25-08 at 09:09 PM. Reason: to add
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Old 03-25-08, 09:03 PM   #7
StupidlyBrave 
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Never play cards with Doc and never eat at a diner named "Mom's"
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Old 03-25-08, 09:22 PM   #8
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It is better to live peacefully with the mockingbird than to pluck a chicken clean.
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Old 03-25-08, 09:30 PM   #9
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If its got tits or wheels its gonna cost you money.
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Old 03-25-08, 09:32 PM   #10
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while there are 1000 ways to skin a cat there is only one appropiate one for the circumstances you find yourself in....
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Old 03-25-08, 09:37 PM   #11
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Stay healthy, eat your dates.

An unloaded gun is just a club.

Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

Character is doing the right thing, even when you think nobody is looking.
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"It hurts so good..."
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Old 03-25-08, 10:31 PM   #12
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Semper Fi?
That's always a popular one.
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Old 03-25-08, 10:58 PM   #13
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Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me
Than a frontal lobotomy.

Great googly moogly.

Watch out where the huskies go,
Don't you eat that yellow snow.
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Old 03-25-08, 11:01 PM   #14
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According to Calvin

"Live and don't learn, that's my motto."
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Old 03-25-08, 11:03 PM   #15
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Two things in life are always true
These rules will never bend:
Never whittle toward yourself
Or pee into the wind.
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Old 03-26-08, 11:17 AM   #16
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Life's a b**** and then you die....
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What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.
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Old 03-26-08, 11:19 AM   #17
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Life's a b**** and then you die....
if your buddhists....Life's a *****, then you have to do it again.
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Old 03-26-08, 11:22 AM   #18
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1. 4. Never lick a steak knife.
Bullocks. Just be careful doing it.
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Old 03-26-08, 03:02 PM   #19
aham23
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9. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
i file this one under; things that could have been helpfully if known prior to this past weekend. later.
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Old 03-26-08, 03:12 PM   #20
colorider
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Lord give me the grace to catch a fish so big that when telling of it afterward I will never have to lie. – Fisherman’s Prayer
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Old 03-26-08, 03:12 PM   #21
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Never poke a badger with a spoon.
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Old 03-26-08, 03:15 PM   #22
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Life's a beach and then you drown.
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.... Other than being completely wrong, you're correct.
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Old 03-26-08, 03:15 PM   #23
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You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.
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.... Other than being completely wrong, you're correct.
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Old 03-26-08, 03:29 PM   #24
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From a list of Army wisdom that can be applied to civilian life, too:

(1) Tracers work both ways.

(2) If it's a dumb idea and it works, then it wasn't a dumb idea.

(3) Once you've pulled out the pin, Mr. Hand Grenade is no longer your friend.


On a more serious note, I recommend the Golden Rule. If we all abided by that one, about 95% of the world's problems would go away as if by magic. "You may say I'm a dreamer . . . ."
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Old 03-26-08, 03:57 PM   #25
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On a more serious note, I recommend the Golden Rule. If we all abided by that one, about 95% of the world's problems would go away as if by magic. "You may say I'm a dreamer . . . ."
He/she who has the gold rules???
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